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What has been the most shocking comment about the sleeve at any stage (pre-op, post-op) or about your weight loss?



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Yikes! That hurts! It looks like DH had a combo of facing "the mom" and being at a loss for words, (OK, not nice, but it wasn't his surgery and he is probably not practiced in talking or even thinking about it) and the friend....holy cow. Sounds like jealousy. I hope she thinks better of it and apologizes soon!

Wow, well what a weird week it has been.

Basically after a lot of soul searching I decided to let people know about my surgery this week, largely because people who didn't know were starting to use me as some sort of example to beat themselves and other people with, and I always vowed that I would not let my surgery hurt other people.

So ironically all positive responses so far from the people who are just finding out, but ASTONISHED by hurtful comments made this week by one of my very best friends, and my own DH!!

Firstly, the reason I hadn't spoken to our extended family about my surgery was because my in-laws can be very jusdgemental, and my DH didn't want me to have to deal with their opinions (a wise choice in my opinion, although I'd have happily taken the risk), as its been 7 months of smoke and mirrors we had a big heart to heart and he agreed to speak to hisn parents about it. We had a big conversation about how they might react, and would they say I've cheated etc etc etc, and he was brilliantly supportive and re-assuring.

So he makes the call to tell them, and obviously just can't find the right words to explain fully, so I find him saying "Oh yeah Mum, make no bones about it, she cheated!" - What a complete dim whit!!!!

So I am not best impressed by that, but its not exactly killing me either.

Then this afternoon I go and see a friend for coffee, my friend has known a while, and was very supportive to begin with, but then got really upset (and told me so) when I started updating my weight loss achievements on Facebook etc, so in fairness to her I have not discussed weight loss, diet etc etc etc with her, or publicly where she might see it since because I am not in the business of upsetting my friends. We are sat having coffee when she turns to me out of the blue and says "I've figured something out about your surgery, if it is working you must have really eaten like a pig before! I hardly eat anything! So I might be bigger than you, but at least I've never eaten like a pig!!!"

My friend is going through horribly tough times at the moment, so I didn't begin to get into a slanging match with her over it, but seriously WTF????

Well I am still stinging from that, and just feel like the people I felt able to rely on clearly have no idea at all! :angry:

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Wow, well what a weird week it has been.

Basically after a lot of soul searching I decided to let people know about my surgery this week, largely because people who didn't know were starting to use me as some sort of example to beat themselves and other people with, and I always vowed that I would not let my surgery hurt other people.

So ironically all positive responses so far from the people who are just finding out, but ASTONISHED by hurtful comments made this week by one of my very best friends, and my own DH!!

Firstly, the reason I hadn't spoken to our extended family about my surgery was because my in-laws can be very jusdgemental, and my DH didn't want me to have to deal with their opinions (a wise choice in my opinion, although I'd have happily taken the risk), as its been 7 months of smoke and mirrors we had a big heart to heart and he agreed to speak to hisn parents about it. We had a big conversation about how they might react, and would they say I've cheated etc etc etc, and he was brilliantly supportive and re-assuring.

So he makes the call to tell them, and obviously just can't find the right words to explain fully, so I find him saying "Oh yeah Mum, make no bones about it, she cheated!" - What a complete dim whit!!!!

So I am not best impressed by that, but its not exactly killing me either.

Then this afternoon I go and see a friend for coffee, my friend has known a while, and was very supportive to begin with, but then got really upset (and told me so) when I started updating my weight loss achievements on Facebook etc, so in fairness to her I have not discussed weight loss, diet etc etc etc with her, or publicly where she might see it since because I am not in the business of upsetting my friends. We are sat having coffee when she turns to me out of the blue and says "I've figured something out about your surgery, if it is working you must have really eaten like a pig before! I hardly eat anything! So I might be bigger than you, but at least I've never eaten like a pig!!!"

My friend is going through horribly tough times at the moment, so I didn't begin to get into a slanging match with her over it, but seriously WTF????

Well I am still stinging from that, and just feel like the people I felt able to rely on clearly have no idea at all! :angry:

Are you seriously kidding me right now??? Wow... I don't even know what I would've responded to that. Sometimes if it's someone really close to me, I just straight out tell them that what they told me was outright hurtful. That will usually get them to immediately retract and apologize. I don't think there's any other way to address these, and honestly IMO it might be a good idea. You don't deserve to be treated that way at all!!!

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I never told anyone but my boss before the surgery. I asked him to tell others a week before I came back. ( I was out 2 weeks.) When I came back & they saw the weight loss. I got support & I was asked to explain the surgery. Several have asked me to talk to there wife or husband. Several have broke down after finding out there was hope for them. Two have already made appointments & 3 are checking there insurance.

The last 3 years I went to 3 doctors for weight loss & NO ONE mentioned surgery! This is a gift & the word needs to be spread.

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I really didn't have problems with people saying hurtful things except their concern about me going to Mexico alone. The most hurtful thing to me is people not saying anything when they know I've had the surgery............

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One of my aunts, the one who is 80% bliind, MO, diabetic and completely dependent on her kids for help with everything from grocery shopping to eating, made a comment about my getting to "cheat". I bit my tongue on commenting that SHE is my inspiration to have this surgery. I want to live long enough to be a burden to my kids, but not in my 50's!!! :)

OTOH, one of my other aunts, who is raising an adopted daughter (12 years old) with weight issues, has been very supportive. They have been studying proper food choices and nutrition and this aunt actually calls me for help when she runs into problems dealing daughter's obesity. Because this aunt is not heavy, she doesn't understand the concept of "head hunger". Over the last two years, my cousin has lost a good bit of weight, partially due to the retraining on nutrition and partly because she has grown several inches. However, she's still battling the concept of "eat everything in sight because there may not be any tomorrow" brought on by parents who would buy booze and drugs rather than food. THAT is a tough issue to overcome for a kid.

Other family and friends are joking that I'm the guinea pig. They're all watching to see how I do before they research having surgery of their own. THAT's when I'll have the last laugh on the nay-sayers. I'll be healthy and thin while they're still struggling with whether it's right for them. :)

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One of my aunts, the one who is 80% bliind, MO, diabetic and completely dependent on her kids for help with everything from grocery shopping to eating, made a comment about my getting to "cheat". I bit my tongue on commenting that SHE is my inspiration to have this surgery. I want to live long enough to be a burden to my kids, but not in my 50's!!! :)

OTOH, one of my other aunts, who is raising an adopted daughter (12 years old) with weight issues, has been very supportive. They have been studying proper food choices and nutrition and this aunt actually calls me for help when she runs into problems dealing daughter's obesity. Because this aunt is not heavy, she doesn't understand the concept of "head hunger". Over the last two years, my cousin has lost a good bit of weight, partially due to the retraining on nutrition and partly because she has grown several inches. However, she's still battling the concept of "eat everything in sight because there may not be any tomorrow" brought on by parents who would buy booze and drugs rather than food. THAT is a tough issue to overcome for a kid.

Other family and friends are joking that I'm the guinea pig. They're all watching to see how I do before they research having surgery of their own. THAT's when I'll have the last laugh on the nay-sayers. I'll be healthy and thin while they're still struggling with whether it's right for them. :)

Please get the book "Rethinking Thin" . This will help your aunt very much. I got mine from Amazon.< /p>

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Walked into work & a friend says "Why would you get a surgery like that!"

I said "Dumb-ass to lose weight."

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My sister in law said "you let them just throw your stomach in the trash?". I have lost 44 lbs in 8 weeks. No mention about how much better I look and feel. get other support though.

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Hahaha, oh lord. My mother had an even more pessimistic view, I guess, as she said I would be killed, dismembered, and disposed of in a dumpster behind the hospital, so she wasn't expecting to get my body back. :tongue2:

Ha sounds like my dad. He told me if I tried to go overseas that I'd come back either in a box or missing half of my organs. Gotta love family; don't have to like them though laugh.png

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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