Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What has been the most shocking comment about the sleeve at any stage (pre-op, post-op) or about your weight loss?



Recommended Posts

Yikes! That hurts! It looks like DH had a combo of facing "the mom" and being at a loss for words, (OK, not nice, but it wasn't his surgery and he is probably not practiced in talking or even thinking about it) and the friend....holy cow. Sounds like jealousy. I hope she thinks better of it and apologizes soon!

Wow, well what a weird week it has been.

Basically after a lot of soul searching I decided to let people know about my surgery this week, largely because people who didn't know were starting to use me as some sort of example to beat themselves and other people with, and I always vowed that I would not let my surgery hurt other people.

So ironically all positive responses so far from the people who are just finding out, but ASTONISHED by hurtful comments made this week by one of my very best friends, and my own DH!!

Firstly, the reason I hadn't spoken to our extended family about my surgery was because my in-laws can be very jusdgemental, and my DH didn't want me to have to deal with their opinions (a wise choice in my opinion, although I'd have happily taken the risk), as its been 7 months of smoke and mirrors we had a big heart to heart and he agreed to speak to hisn parents about it. We had a big conversation about how they might react, and would they say I've cheated etc etc etc, and he was brilliantly supportive and re-assuring.

So he makes the call to tell them, and obviously just can't find the right words to explain fully, so I find him saying "Oh yeah Mum, make no bones about it, she cheated!" - What a complete dim whit!!!!

So I am not best impressed by that, but its not exactly killing me either.

Then this afternoon I go and see a friend for coffee, my friend has known a while, and was very supportive to begin with, but then got really upset (and told me so) when I started updating my weight loss achievements on Facebook etc, so in fairness to her I have not discussed weight loss, diet etc etc etc with her, or publicly where she might see it since because I am not in the business of upsetting my friends. We are sat having coffee when she turns to me out of the blue and says "I've figured something out about your surgery, if it is working you must have really eaten like a pig before! I hardly eat anything! So I might be bigger than you, but at least I've never eaten like a pig!!!"

My friend is going through horribly tough times at the moment, so I didn't begin to get into a slanging match with her over it, but seriously WTF????

Well I am still stinging from that, and just feel like the people I felt able to rely on clearly have no idea at all! :angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, well what a weird week it has been.

Basically after a lot of soul searching I decided to let people know about my surgery this week, largely because people who didn't know were starting to use me as some sort of example to beat themselves and other people with, and I always vowed that I would not let my surgery hurt other people.

So ironically all positive responses so far from the people who are just finding out, but ASTONISHED by hurtful comments made this week by one of my very best friends, and my own DH!!

Firstly, the reason I hadn't spoken to our extended family about my surgery was because my in-laws can be very jusdgemental, and my DH didn't want me to have to deal with their opinions (a wise choice in my opinion, although I'd have happily taken the risk), as its been 7 months of smoke and mirrors we had a big heart to heart and he agreed to speak to hisn parents about it. We had a big conversation about how they might react, and would they say I've cheated etc etc etc, and he was brilliantly supportive and re-assuring.

So he makes the call to tell them, and obviously just can't find the right words to explain fully, so I find him saying "Oh yeah Mum, make no bones about it, she cheated!" - What a complete dim whit!!!!

So I am not best impressed by that, but its not exactly killing me either.

Then this afternoon I go and see a friend for coffee, my friend has known a while, and was very supportive to begin with, but then got really upset (and told me so) when I started updating my weight loss achievements on Facebook etc, so in fairness to her I have not discussed weight loss, diet etc etc etc with her, or publicly where she might see it since because I am not in the business of upsetting my friends. We are sat having coffee when she turns to me out of the blue and says "I've figured something out about your surgery, if it is working you must have really eaten like a pig before! I hardly eat anything! So I might be bigger than you, but at least I've never eaten like a pig!!!"

My friend is going through horribly tough times at the moment, so I didn't begin to get into a slanging match with her over it, but seriously WTF????

Well I am still stinging from that, and just feel like the people I felt able to rely on clearly have no idea at all! :angry:

Are you seriously kidding me right now??? Wow... I don't even know what I would've responded to that. Sometimes if it's someone really close to me, I just straight out tell them that what they told me was outright hurtful. That will usually get them to immediately retract and apologize. I don't think there's any other way to address these, and honestly IMO it might be a good idea. You don't deserve to be treated that way at all!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never told anyone but my boss before the surgery. I asked him to tell others a week before I came back. ( I was out 2 weeks.) When I came back & they saw the weight loss. I got support & I was asked to explain the surgery. Several have asked me to talk to there wife or husband. Several have broke down after finding out there was hope for them. Two have already made appointments & 3 are checking there insurance.

The last 3 years I went to 3 doctors for weight loss & NO ONE mentioned surgery! This is a gift & the word needs to be spread.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really didn't have problems with people saying hurtful things except their concern about me going to Mexico alone. The most hurtful thing to me is people not saying anything when they know I've had the surgery............

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of my aunts, the one who is 80% bliind, MO, diabetic and completely dependent on her kids for help with everything from grocery shopping to eating, made a comment about my getting to "cheat". I bit my tongue on commenting that SHE is my inspiration to have this surgery. I want to live long enough to be a burden to my kids, but not in my 50's!!! :)

OTOH, one of my other aunts, who is raising an adopted daughter (12 years old) with weight issues, has been very supportive. They have been studying proper food choices and nutrition and this aunt actually calls me for help when she runs into problems dealing daughter's obesity. Because this aunt is not heavy, she doesn't understand the concept of "head hunger". Over the last two years, my cousin has lost a good bit of weight, partially due to the retraining on nutrition and partly because she has grown several inches. However, she's still battling the concept of "eat everything in sight because there may not be any tomorrow" brought on by parents who would buy booze and drugs rather than food. THAT is a tough issue to overcome for a kid.

Other family and friends are joking that I'm the guinea pig. They're all watching to see how I do before they research having surgery of their own. THAT's when I'll have the last laugh on the nay-sayers. I'll be healthy and thin while they're still struggling with whether it's right for them. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of my aunts, the one who is 80% bliind, MO, diabetic and completely dependent on her kids for help with everything from grocery shopping to eating, made a comment about my getting to "cheat". I bit my tongue on commenting that SHE is my inspiration to have this surgery. I want to live long enough to be a burden to my kids, but not in my 50's!!! :)

OTOH, one of my other aunts, who is raising an adopted daughter (12 years old) with weight issues, has been very supportive. They have been studying proper food choices and nutrition and this aunt actually calls me for help when she runs into problems dealing daughter's obesity. Because this aunt is not heavy, she doesn't understand the concept of "head hunger". Over the last two years, my cousin has lost a good bit of weight, partially due to the retraining on nutrition and partly because she has grown several inches. However, she's still battling the concept of "eat everything in sight because there may not be any tomorrow" brought on by parents who would buy booze and drugs rather than food. THAT is a tough issue to overcome for a kid.

Other family and friends are joking that I'm the guinea pig. They're all watching to see how I do before they research having surgery of their own. THAT's when I'll have the last laugh on the nay-sayers. I'll be healthy and thin while they're still struggling with whether it's right for them. :)

Please get the book "Rethinking Thin" . This will help your aunt very much. I got mine from Amazon.< /p>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Walked into work & a friend says "Why would you get a surgery like that!"

I said "Dumb-ass to lose weight."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sister in law said "you let them just throw your stomach in the trash?". I have lost 44 lbs in 8 weeks. No mention about how much better I look and feel. get other support though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hahaha, oh lord. My mother had an even more pessimistic view, I guess, as she said I would be killed, dismembered, and disposed of in a dumpster behind the hospital, so she wasn't expecting to get my body back. :tongue2:

Ha sounds like my dad. He told me if I tried to go overseas that I'd come back either in a box or missing half of my organs. Gotta love family; don't have to like them though laugh.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×