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Thank you for all of your replies and prayers, keep them coming.

I will start by saying that I have not taken any comments in any way but in an effort to help, comfort and encourage me, so no worries there.

Next, I will tell you what has been going on with me. After feeling very weak, terrible and what not my parents said they wanted me to go to the ER. I kind of ignored it. Then on Sunday, I was feeling my usual nausea in the morning and wanted to avoid it, so I jumped into the shower, when I got out, I got really dizzy as if I were about to faint, so I sat down and from there began to heave. After I was done, I went into the bedroom where my husband said that it was now time for me to go to the hospital to make the doctors do something for me before I crash. Finally, I agreed.

I went to the ER here that has a bariatric dept. (I had my surgery out of country remember) in hopes that someone would see me there. After a long time waiting and having an IV for hydration I was admited to the hospital. That is where I stayed until today when I was released. While I was there, I had another barium swallow, an ultrasound and a scope and LOTS of blood work. While there, I was on IV for hydration and given anti-nausea meds and acid reducer. The result of my tests, my liver enzymes are elevated, my bile ducts are enlarged, and my stomach has a narrowing at the bottom where the doctor stapled too small. The bariatric doctor told me there was nothing he could do about the stricture (doc did not use this wording) but that I would have to wait to see the GI doctor in 3 weeks, then follow up with the head bariatric surgeon at my hospital.

So this is where I stand, I am scared and praying that they can "fix" me. I am also hoping that I can make it through these next few weeks. Stay hydrated and try to do as the dietician asks.

Thank you again for all of your support and thoughts. It means a lot to me. I hope that someday I can say that I feel good and look forward to the rest of my days as a person at a healthy weight, who is truly healthy.

Bye for now.

erin

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You need to visit a counselor/psych....when depression is there, you need to go see a doc. Most don't realize the strong emotional attachment to food that we all have and you need to be counseled through it. I am beginning my counseling next week (my surgery was 3.5 mos ago) bc I am realizing I have a food addiction. I am still losing weight, but I know something is not right in my head when it comes to food, so I want to try and get on top of it. Go see somebody and help yourself.

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Erin I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm glad you went to the hospital. At least now they know something is wrong and will I hope be able to fix it. Maybe they can stretch the small out a little for you. I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive right now, but do you know what size bougie your dr. used? I'm pushing for the 40 because I'm scared to death of having a stricture and for some reason I have the impression that the larger bougies don't have it as much.

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Erin,

I'm sorry there's a problem, but glad you got to the hospital to have it diagnosed. Now maybe you can move forward with getting it fixed and healing both physically and emotionally. You deserve to be able to feel better, and enjoy your journey. We are here for you!

Kelly

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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