Day 17. This is why your baby hates you.

[crosswind 134]

. So yesterday at the grocery store I mulled it over and decided to give baby food a reasonable and fair assessment. On my safe food list it says that boiled pureed fruits are okay, so I bought Gerber "Naturals" baby banana puree. So it's in my fridge this afternoon and I crack one of the vacuum sealed plastic Jetsons serving pods and bury a spoon.

Oddly, there are really not too many baby food choices on the shelves these days. Just a couple of old standards, stuff I remember from when my baby was a baby -- banana, squash, pear -- and by this time, considering the absolute explosion in every other grocery market demographic, including Chef Ramsay in a can for cats, you'd figure babies would at this point be controlling a whole corner of the store.

When my baby was a baby, I don't think I ever tasted anything I gave him. No idea why, something having to do with the food not being for *me*, so this stuff would go from the jar into his mouth and he would swallow it and that was that. If he spit it out, well he didn't know how to eat yet, right?

Now I see why there has not been an exponential catfoodesque explosion in baby food flavors. I also see I've made a massive childrearing mistake. He did too know damn well how to eat. He was right on the ball there because I have *never* tasted anything as plain old noxious as Gerber Naturals banana baby food. I did not taste anything even *remotely* like a banana on that spoon. I did not tase anything I have ever tasted before in 46 years on that spoon. It could tell you what it tasted like but I'm not going to because we're all recovering from stomach surgery and I fear the description would send half the board running for their Compazine. I am picturing my rubbery little peanut spwooshing that stuff out of his mouth with a look of utter disgust and horror as if to say, " you can can't possibly mean to tell me this is food."

Which is exactly what I did.

Dannon Light & Fit and cream of mushroom Soup for lunch.

You know, this is a lot like trying to see how long you can hold your breath underwater, only you're never not going to be underwater, so you better start growing some gills.

In other news, my back hurts. I really think it's from holding myself in weird positions to try to completely insulate my jerryrigged stomach from any trauma whatsoever. After some more mulling, I crushed up a vicodin and drank it out of a wineglass. Don't tell your kids, but that is really one dandy way to down a painkiller.

There's freezing rain today and tornadoes down South. I spent the morning painting a landcape I took a picture of a couple weeks ago in watercolor pencil. Could be worse I guess but I give it a C.

[Oopsseedaisy 90]

Crosswind you crack me up! I hope your back feels better soon!!!!!!!!!

[kellyw74 258]

I have heard that baby food is really nasty. Yay for vicoden!

Kelly

[Caliblonde 25]

So funny! Thanks for giving me a good laugh!

[SouthernSleever 234]

Haha funny stuff! Ya it does taste gross! My kids never would eat it except for the sweet potatoes...wonder what those taste like.

[kelli 3]

thats a good one...thanks for the chuckle...i was thinking of trying some prunes in plain n/f yogurt ..im so over the artificial sweetners.. if they still sell them in baby food..

[feedyoureye 3,087]

thats a good one...thanks for the chuckle...i was thinking of trying some prunes in plain n/f yogurt ..im so over the artificial sweetners.. if they still sell them in baby food..

I tried the prunes... kind of watery, but not horrible by any means. With yogurt? Probably would be pretty good. I found some "green bean casserole" baby food. Don't bother. It was green.... thats about how far the resemblance went.

[Beadingnurse 116]

I went to a baby shower once where the game was to identify by taste or smell a dozen jars of baby food whose labels were covered. I literally gagged just smelling a couple & couldn't imagine tasting any of the foul things! Poor babies having to eat this crap!