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So, I am looking forward to surgery in May, I am in nursing school and plan on having the surgey over summer. I know when I go back, people are going to realize that I have lost a lot of weight. Well, besides my family I've only told oneperrson, my best friend, she is also heavy, and very supportive, and actually hoping to have the procedure herself. She is 33 <---- you'll know why this is important in a minute.

Today I went out to lunch with two people that I considered my friends. I decided that since they would see how much weight I've lost after summer I would tell them. Again, this is a decision I didn't want people to know about, so I told them, thinking that they were my friends and they would be as supportive as my family and best friend. That didn't happen :( . All I heard about was how I am too young to have the surgery, and have I exhausted all of my weight loss options. I am 19, so yes I am young, and yes in this current moment, I am healthy. But I know that I won't be 10 years fom now, I've been overweight for most of my life and I need this. IDK I guess I was just expecting too much from my so called friends. Thanks for listening everyone.:unsure:

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That totally sucks.. I will never say you are to young. I bet you most people on here would say they would of loved to have had it at that age bc it would give them so many years back that they lost due to being overweight... listen its hard for me to tell people bc some may not agree. And the problem with telling people is that all it takes is one little negative comment to plant a seed for questioning urself. You don't need to tell anyone why you are losing weight. Im just telling people I'm on Atkins. Call me a liar I don't care. You were just looking for support when u told them and you got shot down.. it hurts and it sucks. Stay positive you are doing this for you and no one else.. good luck with everything

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FAT and HEALTHY do not play well together for very long. DON'T end up like me ( and MILLIONS of others) and let weight related health problems mount up and make you life miserable. YES it is a drastic thing to do at your age but the procedure is by far the LEAST invasive of weight loss surgeries and does not re-route anything and cause malabsorbtion problems (with the possible exception of Vitamin B12).

Remember that it IS possible to defeat the sleeve by eating too much, too often and the wrong things. So it's going to take a LIFELONG - and in most probability your post-op life is going to be a lot longer than the typical sleever - commitment to the proper diet aided by the sleeves physical and psychological restrictions.

I'd say without knowing you and not knowing your health to GO FOR IT, if the doc has approved.

We all wish you the best!

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Tell them you didn't ask for their approval, you wanted their support. Maybe they will turn it around and surprise you. Some people don't realize how negative they sound until you tell them.

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Tell them you didn't ask for their approval, you wanted their support.

I like that!

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People can be very judgemental. Don't let it get to you. This is YOUR life. I wish I could have had the surgery at 19! You are doing the right thing. Trust me, the chance of losing weight and keeping it off are very small. I think it is great you are getting sleeved. You will be so happy and healthy!

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It does suck, but then again I suspect two things here, your friends are also very young and not over weight. That combination combined I would except that response. They are young and inexperienced. This is the Mom in my talking and also the former fat person talking,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, SCREW what they think! Why do I say this? In a few months you will have the results of your decision as proof that you are doing what YOU need to do! I applaud you for being young and knowing what you want. You are sparing yourself for a life time of personal pain and illness. Congrats on your decision to advocate for your own health. IF after you look great and feel great, these friends can not get on board with your decision, then and only then is it time to not call them friends anymore.

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You know I was just talking today with my mom- which I have been very open about this whole process- but today she actually- said to me - "Can't you just diet on your own? I mean can't you just drink your Protein Shakes and eat less?" I looked at her and said - can you? Take in to mind I am 30 and have ALWAYS struggled with this and so has she! - I think sometimes- they are just making sure you have thought out the process yourself- is it really what you want- but once you have I agree- just tell them- I wasn't asking your approval i was asking for your support- then if they cannot do that- maybe your right about the friendship.

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Tell them you didn't ask for their approval, you wanted their support. Maybe they will turn it around and surprise you. Some people don't realize how negative they sound until you tell them.

I like this response too..... your original post is one of the reasons I only told 2 people - my husband and my best friend. No one else knows, as I know I would have to fend off the ones who would judge me for doing it. I know there are lots the would support me, but for me, the emotional issues behind my weight have been there for years, and I would cry when talking things thru with people so I wanted to protect myself from that.

I chose to opt out of the support network, but have this board for support and advice, and my Dr and his team who are brilliant. My husband, bless him is amazing beyond words, and I thank him for this chance at a new go in life for me.

Yes you're young, but you deserve a great life... the sleeve will give that to you, if I could have known what I know now when I was your age, I would have done it then and saved myself years of grief and stretch marks!!

Go for it... we're there for you even if your friends aren't.

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That's not fair!

As long as you have done ALL your research, who cares how young you are.

I just turned 24.... And, have been sleeved for 3 months. I love it!

Some people just dont/won't understand :(

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Do NOT be sad. Hold your head up high and just continue with your plan. How I wish I could have done this at a much younger age. I didn't gain my weight until after about 48 but here I am at 60 and thrilled to be having this after worrying about weight for years and years. My friends are with me for the most part. The ones who aren't just aren't and that's the way it's going to be. Just don't worry about telling any more and do what you want to do. I wish I'd never told a soul and just lied about some diet that had failed me in the past! You're fine-----you always have this forum for great support!

So, I am looking forward to surgery in May, I am in nursing school and plan on having the surgey over summer. I know when I go back, people are going to realize that I have lost a lot of weight. Well, besides my family I've only told oneperrson, my best friend, she is also heavy, and very supportive, and actually hoping to have the procedure herself. She is 33 <---- you'll know why this is important in a minute.

Today I went out to lunch with two people that I considered my friends. I decided that since they would see how much weight I've lost after summer I would tell them. Again, this is a decision I didn't want people to know about, so I told them, thinking that they were my friends and they would be as supportive as my family and best friend. That didn't happen :( . All I heard about was how I am too young to have the surgery, and have I exhausted all of my weight loss options. I am 19, so yes I am young, and yes in this current moment, I am healthy. But I know that I won't be 10 years fom now, I've been overweight for most of my life and I need this. IDK I guess I was just expecting too much from my so called friends. Thanks for listening everyone.:unsure:

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Amen to every reply to your post. It's your body and you have made the choice to be healthy. Good for you!!

It was because of the comments I received after getting the lap band and then when it failed, that I chose not to tell anyone about my revision to the sleeve. Only my husband and daughter know. I just say Dr. has me on high Protein and low carb diet. Which is sorta true...... ;) I am 63 and love my sleeve!

Good luck dear!

Jeri

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Tell them you didn't ask for their approval, you wanted their support. Maybe they will turn it around and surprise you. Some people don't realize how negative they sound until you tell them.

I totally agree with this paragraph..

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I like this response too..... your original post is one of the reasons I only told 2 people - my husband and my best friend. No one else knows, as I know I would have to fend off the ones who would judge me for doing it. I know there are lots the would support me, but for me, the emotional issues behind my weight have been there for years, and I would cry when talking things thru with people so I wanted to protect myself from that.

I chose to opt out of the support network, but have this board for support and advice, and my Dr and his team who are brilliant. My husband, bless him is amazing beyond words, and I thank him for this chance at a new go in life for me.

Yes you're young, but you deserve a great life... the sleeve will give that to you, if I could have known what I know now when I was your age, I would have done it then and saved myself years of grief and stretch marks!!

Go for it... we're there for you even if your friends aren't.

AMEN!!!

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I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support. It means a lot to me, and it helps me to know that I have support here. I have my family, and my best friend, but this is such a great support system. I will take everyone's advice, and again, thank you so much for being here for me when I needed it. I love you all!!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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