For those of you who have small-ish children...do you ever worry?

[chilo1 62]

So I have 3 girls, 12 y,10y and 13 months, and I worry. I worry because even though they're nor fat(they aren't skinny either), the older ones are starting to get consious about the way they look, looking fat in certain clothes, and basically not wanting to be fat,they never try to diet or anything yet thank God.

I had a bad experience with this, as a child (at 9 years old I was put on a diet and I wasn't even fat-I had however put on about 8 pounds in a year after moving from the states to S America so my parents thinking it was best for me took me to the doctors who put me on a lowcalorie diet, can you imagine, at 9 ?) and have had weight issues ever since. I do not put my girls on a diet, just try to feed the a healthy balanced diet (but obviously I can't and won't control everything they put in their mouths) and encourage them to exercise, they love dancing and they do that 3 times a week for 3 hours. I just worry that they will think in the future that what I did is the easy way out. I have explained them my weight issues and the reason I had to resort to surgery, but as a mum I still worry. Do any of you have these issues in the back of your minds, or is it just me being paranoid??

[chilo1 62]

I think i put this on wrong thread, can't copy and paste it, computer's being stupid!

[kgremmy 36]

I also have small kids. I have a 5 yr old, a 4 yr old and a 5 month old. My 5 yr old is already aware of being fat. She is already worrying about how she looks and if she looks fat. She has told me that she does not want to be fat. Like you I try to encourage as much physical activity as possible and healthy eating. I know that they are kids and will want kid food but I do try to stress the importance of healthy eating to both of them. They are not aware that I had surgery and I will tell them when the time is right. Like you I was put on many diets when I was little. I know that from past experiences that I WILL NOT tell my child that she is on a diet. I think that telling them that will do more damage than good. Just keep stressing the importance of eating healthy and the physical activity!! Good Luck!!

[MINI-Me 196]

I think we all want the best for our kids and worry that they will make the wrong choices - whether it be eating, drinking, making the wrong friends, etc. For me, I think honesty is the best policy.

I became pregnant with my first son out of wedlock. I raised him on my own until he was 7 and I married my husband. I have been very honest with my boys about the "dangers" of sex and the emotional needs/destruction that can come when you have it too soon.

Since obesity runs in my family, we have been very open about being overweight as well. We don't harbor on it, but talk about the genes the boys need to fight if they want to be healthy adults. (My father's passing away in 2009 due to obesity issues kicked my butt in gear to investigate WLS.) I have never put them on a diet, but try to have healthy choices available to them. The younger they are, the easier it is to monitor their intake.

That's a lot of rambling ... sorry. My point is to be honest, provide healthy choices, and help guide your children towards a better life. That's all we can do as parents.

[Dawn 16]

I have a 6 year old girl and she is also starting to be very aware of her body. She isn't fat at all, she is a perfect weight for her height but since DH and I are both over weight and I had surgery and DH is counting calories and such she is asks a lot of questions about how many calories she is eating and such! It bothers me because I know she doesn't need to worry about any of it but at the same time I do want her to be aware of what is health foods and what isn't and what a portion size is! I control two of her meals a day (breakfast and dinner) so I know she is eating health foods and in school they do an okay job with lunch!

[SouthernSleever 236]

I have been so focused on this surgery and losing weight that I talk about it to my hubby all.the.time. Even to my Mom. I never put myself down like "I'm so fat. I hate being fat. Look at this fat stomach." Nothing like that but I comment "When I get skinny or I've lost X lbs" so now my 5 year old has been saying things like. "Mom my belly is fat. I eat too many sweets." "She's fat she needs your surgery, Mom." Not in a mean way but in a helpful, you should go tell her how much you love your surgery kinda way. He eats like me, and has cravings like I did so I expect he will have the same problems. We eat healthy and now I dont buy any sweets for inside the home. I'm worried about how this affects him so I have quit talking about it. I see him step on the scale quite a bit even though he has no idea what it means or says.

[Eureka-C 20]

I have a boy age 10 who is very thin. He naturally controls his eating at this time, and does not seem to have the compulsion to eat like the rest of us. I am amazed when he can be eating something he loves like chocolate cake or hot dogs, and just announces "i'm full" mid bite, then stops. I also have a daughter age 11, who is 5'3" and wears an adult size 10. She is overweight. At the same time, she is active, makes healthy choices eating most of the time, and is in much better shape than I was at that age. I have tried to have a home where we openly discuss healthy choices, while at the same time not making foods "bad" or "good" We talk about a healthy serving, and eating variety. I worry about her constantly having the problems with self-esteem as she moves into adolescence. I also worry about my son, who doesn't have to worry now, but when his metabolism slows down, will he have bad habits that he learned while skinny?

[SouthernSleever 236]

Eureka- My youngest son is like yours. He will have two bites of cake and annouce he is done. For the other 3 of us you are done with cake when there is no more. I believe so much of how/what/how much we eat is genetic.

[Eureka-C 20]

Eureka- My youngest son is like yours. He will have two bites of cake and annouce he is done. For the other 3 of us you are done with cake when there is no more. I believe so much of how/what/how much we eat is genetic.

I always look at him in amazement when this happens. Daily. If he didn't look so much like us, I would wonder if he was switched at birth. The crazy thing is he was a really chubby baby and toddler, then around 3 he just shot up and got skinny.

[pumpkin07 32]

I already passed on my weight problem to my oldest son bc when he was little I was single and he ate what I ate which was not good. He is a carb freak. So I figure the sleeve (or something similar, if needed) could be a blessing for him at some point in his life and I am thankful he will have such an option rather than living half a life in agony over weight issues. I think his tummy must be a bit stretched out already, we'll see. I never discuss surgery for him, he mentioned it once. But right now he is a preteen and he is starting to shed the weight with growth and exercise. But his eating is horrible. He is pretty headstrong so I try to limit what is at home, but it is just tough nevertheless. If you buy waffles SWOOSH they are all gone, Cereal of any kind GONE, candy, etc. He has very lil self control, unfortunately, when it comes to food. A a darn big capacity. He is overweight, probably obese. But not morbidly obese. We've been to nutritionist but so far he isn't willing to change much.

I have a little guy, 3, that doesn't have the problems yet. So me having control helps him have control. Plus he is a saver of stuff including sweets whereas the older bro finds them and eats them. It works out. haha

I don't worry a ton about it bc having this surgery was not the end of my world. There are worse health conditions that have no solution.

[coops 1,790]

Eureka & DJjackson... yep, my 10 year old is exactly the same... regardless of what he is eating, once he is done.. he is done|! He only eats when hungry and never, ever eats to feel 'stuffed'!!

My daugher and husband on the other hand.... well they eat til they can't eat anymore!

The annoying part.... they are all in the healthy weight range - sooooo... that leaves exercise... and yes, guess what... all three do a lot of exercise that they love!

My daughter who is 12 now did go through a stage about 2 years ago where she was 'fat' and I am not sure why or where this came from.... it lasted approx 6 mths. She now understand that her body is changing and that she is turning into a woman,.. she hasn't mentioned it since...

My son is probably more body aware because he does boxing training and has recenlty been asked by the coach if he wants to fight... he is aware of different muscle areas and has a 6 pack developing nicely, of which he likes to parade!!! All that said I am going to keep an eye on him... I don't want him to focus on how he looks !!

[chilo1 62]

My 12 yr old stops eating when she's full, my 10 yr old eats till she's stuffed. I don't want to put pressure on her because what my psychologist who helped through my "eating disorder", or disordered eating as she called it said is that there is a lot of research that shows that when from a young age we are told when to stop eating those "cues" that normally tell us when we are full or when we are hungry are lost, or aren't given a chance to develop properly, which I believe is true, as I said earlier from the age of 9 I was put on a diet,I was told what to eat when to stop, how much I could eat, and I know that my fullness cue didn't exist , I would eat till I physically couldn't anymore, the sleeve helped me so much with that because now I pay attention to when I'm full, still amazed how I completed changed my relationship with food

[Eureka-C 20]

My 12 yr old stops eating when she's full, my 10 yr old eats till she's stuffed. I don't want to put pressure on her because what my psychologist who helped through my "eating disorder", or disordered eating as she called it said is that there is a lot of research that shows that when from a young age we are told when to stop eating those "cues" that normally tell us when we are full or when we are hungry are lost, or aren't given a chance to develop properly, which I believe is true, as I said earlier from the age of 9 I was put on a diet,I was told what to eat when to stop, how much I could eat, and I know that my fullness cue didn't exist , I would eat till I physically couldn't anymore, the sleeve helped me so much with that because now I pay attention to when I'm full, still amazed how I completed changed my relationship with food

I agree with you about some of that. Telling a kid stop eating, or just that "look" or little comments definitely make it worse. My grandmother used to make me dread eating at her house because she laid the guild on so heavy. What we do talk about at my house is the mistakes that my hubby and I have made. We talk out loud about stopping because that is a good amount, enjoying a few bites or say something like "I think I will stop for now and see if my brain catches up." its not about doing right and wrong, just about paying attention to our bodies. I want to be a good role model, but I also know that I might have to talk out what I am doing for my kids to get it. My problem is I eat bad when I am not around my kids. They make pretty good decisions most of the time, but I can see it will be a struggle for my daughter just as it was for my hubby and I.

[chilo1 62]

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks about this, we all want to be good role models for our children and want what's best for them, hopefully by changing our eating habits with our sleeves we will be better role models for them. Good luck to us!