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75 pounds gone and my husband says this to me........??



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I have been losing since Jan of last year, 50 lbs before surgery and 25 since and tonight my husband says to me : " You are making me look big" I was like excuse me? I am making YOU look big???? No Sir I told him, YOU are making YOU look big by being big! and then I shut up. Then I got pissed! I was said in all this time of losing weight that was the closest thing you have ever said to a compliment and he responds to me with "I have never judged you for your size and I just don't notice your size now." I replied "You had better get to noticing before some other man does!

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I have been losing since Jan of last year, 50 lbs before surgery and 25 since and tonight my husband says to me : " You are making me look big" I was like excuse me? I am making YOU look big???? No Sir I told him, YOU are making YOU look big by being big! and then I shut up. Then I got pissed! I was said in all this time of losing weight that was the closest thing you have ever said to a compliment and he responds to me withC I replied "You had better get to noticing before some other man does!

Hi Myrori

I think " You are making me look big" is a wonderful complement and "You had better get to noticing before some other man does!" is nasty. But thats just how i read it.

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Since this is not a forum for judgment and is rather a place where sleevers can feel safe in sharing the tumultuous and sometimes confusing emotions and experiences we have, there is no call for negativity.

Myori, you stood up for yourself, good for you! You didn't let his needling slide; had you, he might have started doing it more often. It is frustrating to achieve a certain milestone and be in this fragile place of starting to feel proud of a real weight loss accomplishment, and then have a loved one or even just person we see regularly, not comment favorably. It can be crushing.

I've lost 72 pounds, I can sorta realize that this is major, but in the environment that I work in, people just don't mention it. They notice everything, but nobody comments on anything personal. So I was thinking I hadn't changed much at all, until I went home on R&R and my friends and family's faces reflected their amazed delight and then I could finally see that I had changed.

Chin up! Hope you and DH were able to have a (pardon the pun) fully fleshed out discussion once emotions calmed down.

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Surely, he was playing. I hate to say it, but men say some of the dumbest things! I am sure he meant no harm! In a crazy sorta way, he was saying you look great!

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Men are strange creatures! My husband isn't obese but he's big and has a bit of a belly(he used to be a rugby player) He started a healthy eating plan a few days ago and started going to the gym again,I think the fact that everybody compliments me got him thinking and I can see his belly is already shrinking!

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Hi Myrori

I think " You are making me look big" is a wonderful complement and "You had better get to noticing before some other man does!" is nasty. But thats just how i read it.

Well Steve I happen to think that fact that I have been working hard for a year now and this is the very first thing he say EVER, and how MY weight loss makes him look, I do believe that is mean. I see no compliment what so ever in it.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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