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Hello Friends!

Today I am exactly 3 months out from surgery. I thought I’d write a little blurb (or maybe more… lol) to update how I’m doing.

The numbers are, I am down 35 Lbs since surgery and I’m down 44 since starting my pre-operative diet. I am averaging 2.92 Lbs per week right now.

Not nearly as fast as most here, but guess what? I am absolutely happy where I am today, and I haven’t felt this thin and energetic in many years!!

I just want to get into a few things at this time, because it is something that means a great deal to me. That is the inner peace I feel for myself, and I want everyone to feel this way about themselves as well. This past week has been a big struggle for me. My husband and I celebrated our 15th Wedding Anniversary on the 9th and my 37th Birthday was on the 12th. I had some confections during this time and as a result (along with it being TOM) I did not lose any weight this whole week.

However, this is nothing different that what I’ve experienced every TOM since having surgery. I find that I’m much weaker to giving in to temptations during this particular week, and of course I wasn’t able to again. How do I feel about this? Well, considering I have been excellent all day so far today, I still feel really good about myself. I CANNOT nor will I beat myself up over this. What I will do though, is do what I can. That being, I will do 5 days of super low carb to fight that demon and work myself back to weight loss form. The ONLY thing beating myself up over it will do is put me down a spiral of self hatred, and once again on the path to being the old FAT me.

I never want to be there again, EVER!!! I refuse to allow myself to dredge over living my life! So I had some cake on my birthday and enjoyed some sweet treats during my favorite week. So the heck what? So I didn’t lose a single ounce last week… oh well. I’ll tell you WHY I will not let that make me feel like a failure. Simply because the very week before, I lost 6 POUNDS!!! Because, the few months before this I lost almost 30 Lbs too!! I will now and ALWAYS Celebrate every single pound that I lose. I don’t care how long it takes me, so long as I’m doing it. I am not in a race with anyone here, and as far as I know we are all jogging along side one another and patting each other on the back for all our accomplishments.

Time will pass and the weight will drop. So long as I’m doing the right thing majority of the time. Especially recognizing when I am allowing too many bad foods in my diet and correcting it, the weight WILL COME OFF!! Besides, I do find that I lose much more quickly when I break up the monotony. If I eat the same exact amount of calories day in and day out, my body WILL start burning those calories accordingly. I’m absolutely positive that I will have an amazing drop this week. My body has no clue what’s coming. *wink*

Anyway, call me “Pollyanna” or whatever you want. But, you will NEVER hear me say I “ONLY” lost this much or I STILL need to lose that much. My glass is ever half full, and one day it will runneth over (though I consider it to already!!).

You will never hear me ask someone what I’m doing wrong, because as long as the scale is going down, I’m NOT doing a darn thing wrong. I won’t let my self worth be associated to what my scale says (or rather what it doesn’t say, IMO). I started at 330 Lbs for crying out loud!! Granted this was many years ago, but so what? I was STILL 330 Lbs, Size 28W and 3X tops, and I did lose every single one of those pounds. I’m also down to size 16M and Size L tops. Some pounds and sizes were gained and lost over and over again, but now – thanks to my sleeve and my new found love for myself, it will be down FOREVER!!!

Onward and forward I go. I will get to goal… someday. When? I have not a clue, but now that I know WHAT I know, it will surely be sooner rather than later. I do enjoy a challenge however, so I will definitely still work with them. But… whether I make them or not is no matter. What DOES matter is that I continue to celebrate EVERY SINGLE POUND LOST as a pure success.

I will never discount any of them or treat them poorly because they didn’t fall away as quickly as I thought would or should – or because someone else lost theirs faster than I did.

That is THEIR journey, not mine.

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Irene, I always love reading your posts, and I applaud your great outlook. I get into self-doubt mode a lot, so I'm striving to be more like you. You've done fabulously in your first three months. Way to go! And you're right, this is your journey, and it will be what you make of it. We might as well make it an enjoyable one! Thanks for all your upbeat posts, I really appreciate it and it helps get me in the right frame of mind. And congratulations on your weight loss. I know you'll make it to goal, and I can't wait to see that awesome post from you.

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That was beutiful. It brought tears to my eyes. I can't tell you how much I needed to hear that.

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a.walker - I used to get in the self doubt mode too many times for me to hash over. It did nothing for me except swallow me up in a deep dark hole. Once I crawled my way back out, I was already back up so much it just felt impossible to lose it again. I do not want to go there anymore!! I'm so thankful for my sleeve that it's like a little safety net. So when I do go through a week of not being in weight loss mode, I'm not stuck with having to lose 10 Lbs all over again. I can now just pick back up where I left off. It's fabulous!!!

Thanks for the kind words!! :)

Eureka, I'm glad that I was able to reach out. I really wrote that because I've been there SO MANY TIMES!! This time is different, and only because I choose for it to be so. Hugs. :)

-----------------------------------

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Hey Irene,

you are soooo right; last week I was going 'down'! Moody, feeling low and basically beating myself up cos I wasn't losing 2,3,4 lb a week! I now realise that this is the lowest weight that I have been for over 13 years...

I definately feel more positive, and that is without a massive weight loss recently. It is important for me not to rely on the scales for that feeling of success... and although it has been a long and hard 2 1/2 mths of very little movement, I think I probably needed this to reassess my own state of mind - if that makes sense. I ain't a failure either...

thank you for the positive vibes that you continue to give us all... I, for sure, need to hear these once in a while xx

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You are sooo right Diva...Time WILL pass and the weight WILL drop. No worries :)...it's so different this time :) yayyyyyy! Don't get me wrong, I HATE stalls, but I know the weight will eventually come off :).

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chilo, I have to tell you lady - that of many here I really do appreciate your always positive outlook! You always stay the course and though (to some - not me!!) you might be considered a slow loser... but you're losing, darn-it!! Your ticker still moves and still gets a bit closer all the time. I have much to gain from you, so thank you sooo much! :)

coops, my dear I think you are rockin and rollin! Don't feel down at all, you are doing fabulously. There are going to be some weeks that our scale is gonna be a stubborn guy, but I have a lot of experience with stubborn guys -- so bring it on!! :lol: From my Dear old Dad to my Hubby, and now the scale. NBD!!

There are so many hidden treasure in our journey, we only need to be keen to notice! I get way more jazzed about the little things... though I hate considering them "little" because to me they are monumental. For instance, last night I actually ran (well, jogged anyway) on my treadmill for 20 minutes!! No way could I do that even last month! My knees are shot from all the damage and wear and tear from being morbidly obese for so long, but here I am taking that treadmill for a ride!

S4M, yes stalls are the pitts!! But, IMO I only consider a true stall as staying at the same weight for 3 weeks or more. I have yet to do that since being sleeved. I know many here have, but only thing I can suggest is perhaps not weighing so much. Our bodies are going to go through it. I don't doubt I may have a bit of a stall like that sometime down the road. It may even be right now - but I do know that as long as I'm being honest with myself and doing all the right things, it really shouldn't happen. I have always lost like this in the past. I'm on a cycle and some times of the month I won't lose, some weeks will have big drops and some will be but a pound or two. That's fine too!!

If one is enduring a true stall, go back and try on your largest pants... wow!! I'm sure that's what you'll be saying after... or perhaps list all the things you CAN do now versus what you couldn't pre-surgery. We have SO MUCH TO CELEBRATE!!!

:)

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Thanks Diva ... from my other post today, you can see that I really needed to read this today. You ROCK!

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Hey Diva!!

I think that every day should be lived in a way that makes you feel happy and full as a person inside and out... if that means one week you have a piece of cake or a few glasses of wine.. then so be it!!!! We are all here to try to improve our quality of living by trying to achieve a healthier weight range... So, that does not mean you deprive yourself of ALL lifes pleasures.. but rather something that we have in moderation! The reason why I say this is because I want you to know that by no means should anyone beat themselves up over the fact that they had some cake on their birthday or the scale didnt move much in the last while... We have to be willing to accept the process and soak in the whole experience... one day we will all reach our respective goals and feel ecstatic but some will get there faster than others and that is OK!!! :)

I am glad that you are doing so well physically, mentally, and emotionally!!! That truly is the biggest accomplishment of all!!!!!!!

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Hey Diva!!

I think that every day should be lived in a way that makes you feel happy and full as a person inside and out... if that means one week you have a piece of cake or a few glasses of wine.. then so be it!!!! We are all here to try to improve our quality of living by trying to achieve a healthier weight range... So, that does not mean you deprive yourself of ALL lifes pleasures.. but rather something that we have in moderation! The reason why I say this is because I want you to know that by no means should anyone beat themselves up over the fact that they had some cake on their birthday or the scale didnt move much in the last while... We have to be willing to accept the process and soak in the whole experience... one day we will all reach our respective goals and feel ecstatic but some will get there faster than others and that is OK!!! :)

I am glad that you are doing so well physically, mentally, and emotionally!!! That truly is the biggest accomplishment of all!!!!!!!

Heya Sleeve!! You are absolutely right! And you know, I did feel some guilt for enjoying that cake. Not to mention my stomach felt sick to my stomach... LOL, though that's another story! Still, I had to sit with myself, take a time out and realize that hey -- if I'm in this for the rest of my life, I've got to lighten up! I decided then and there, no guilt - just take it good and bad. The important thing is that I not allow that to derail me and flush me down that black hole. I just have to wake up the next day, own it and get right. :lol:

Anyway, so far so good. It's been 2 days since I've been doing my get back on track regimen and It's going great!

Thanks lady!! I needed that. :)

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Any time Girly!!! sometimes we just have to get real with ourselves you know!? and I really think you have the right mentality to see this through in a healthy way!!! SO happy for you!

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Life is good, live it! You are and you provide such great support and encouraging words on this forum. I'm happy you are here!

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Such an amazing post from an amazing woman ! ! ! Thank you for sharing, and being that light for so many of us.

Keep rockin' it chickee ! ! !

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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