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Probably just overly emotional



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Lately a few of my skinny friends have been making comments about how they are so jealous that I am getting the sleeve. This bugs me so stinkin much! I get it that I am getting a lifelong tool to help me control my weight but why do these skinny girls always have to make comments as if they are fat and really need it?? Take my best friend for example, she wears a size 6. I havent worn that size in probably 15 years at least and Im only 27! Shes even had me look up the weight requirements for her so she could see if she would qualify. Now she does weigh more than an average size 6 girl but she is NOWHERE near qualifying. Its not one of those situations where she or the others are just trying to show support, its them actually wanting to have the surgery. Ive even explained that he comments bug me but its as if these skinny girls actually think they need the surgery!

I guess it just upsets me that all these girls that I wish I had bodies like would even think that I am lucky for going through such a big surgery, having my stomach chopped off and then needing to go through more surgery to take care of all the loose skin. Im not doing this because I just feel like, Im doing it for my health, Im trying to get to a point where I dont have sleep apnea, to where I can lessen my chances of hypertention and diabetes, Im trying to get to a point where I can sit on the floor with my kids and not be in so much pain, to where I can cross my legs when Im sitting, to not have to make sure Im sitting by the edge of a couch just so I can use the arm to help myself up. UGH!

I know Im ultra senstive to the comments because its a major change thtat Im about to go through, I just wish they skinny friends would see how blessed they are to not even need to consider having such a surgery.

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People say dumb stuff ... And, it goes to show that everyone has self-worth and body issues - no matter what their size. Try to let it roll off.

Chin up!

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Shows you how shallow people are. You are trying to get sleeved because of health and quality of life issues, and they already have everything you want, but are convinced they won't be happy until they look like these sacks of bones you see in fashion magazines.

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Girlfriends can be so mean. This is why I am not telling them about my surgery. They are probably used to you as the "fat friend" (I really don't mean to be rude, I am talking about MY experience), the one they'll always look better compared to, and will have to deal with the change. You'll be one of them, probably much hotter than them because you are more self conscious and have struggled with a lot of things in your life, which made you stronger.

Do not worry about them. Let them talk. They are just scared and envious. I am sure they'll find another topic to get silly about soon enough. And let them do their own research, you have much better things to do than listen to them!

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Women are competitive, catty bitches. Sorry, it's the truth, and I can't tell you how many times I've had my "skinny" girlfriends comment on how they feel about me now that I've lost weight. It's been eye-opening, and hurtful at the same time.

My one "friend" that I had here during my revision told my mother while I was in ICU on a ventilator, clinging to life (literally), she actually looked at mother and said "I'm going to be so hot when I have this surgery!" My mom just looked at her and started bawling. This was not the first horrific comment she made either. When I told her I was getting the band she actually told me "Well, I better get back on Nutrisystem because I can't have you looking hotter than me." Like the only way I could be hotter than her is if I was skinny ? ? ? Least to say, we are no longer friends, and haven't spoken to one another in over a year. She actually broke up with me via a Myspace message at the ripe age of 32. . . Nut case extraordinaire ! ! ! I believe ugliness runs deep in people's souls, and no matter what, there will be those people that just so miserable with themselves that they prey on our emotions, and try to destroy what little hope we have. I have never tolerated bad behavior. We were friends because our husbands are friends, and colleagues. But, now I have no love lost on not having her in my life. I only tolerated her because of my husband. I knew it was not a lifelong friendship because so many "red flags" went up early out in the friendship. I've been wanting to run into her around our small town, and I'm sure we've crossed paths here and there, but she never believed I would get smaller than her, or get hotter than her. Well, here I am today, not only smaller, but so much happier to not have her in my life.

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yep, us girls are weird creatures... I have already been told not to lose much more weight... I ain't even half way to goal !!! As if I want to stop now... I really don't know what people are going to say when I do get smaller, I suppose I will have to be prepared for it as much as I can.

I am waiting for, what my husband calls, 'a sh*t sandwich' a compliment that isn't really a compliment... along the lines of ' oh wow you look great have you lost weight?' followed by 'really i thought you were older than that!' ... you know what i mean... something really nice and then something that is really nasty that leaves you thinking... hang on, what happened there!

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Lately a few of my skinny friends have been making comments about how they are so jealous that I am getting the sleeve. This bugs me so stinkin much! I get it that I am getting a lifelong tool to help me control my weight but why do these skinny girls always have to make comments as if they are fat and really need it?? Take my best friend for example, she wears a size 6. I havent worn that size in probably 15 years at least and Im only 27! Shes even had me look up the weight requirements for her so she could see if she would qualify. Now she does weigh more than an average size 6 girl but she is NOWHERE near qualifying. Its not one of those situations where she or the others are just trying to show support, its them actually wanting to have the surgery. Ive even explained that he comments bug me but its as if these skinny girls actually think they need the surgery!

I guess it just upsets me that all these girls that I wish I had bodies like would even think that I am lucky for going through such a big surgery, having my stomach chopped off and then needing to go through more surgery to take care of all the loose skin. Im not doing this because I just feel like, Im doing it for my health, Im trying to get to a point where I dont have sleep apnea, to where I can lessen my chances of hypertention and diabetes, Im trying to get to a point where I can sit on the floor with my kids and not be in so much pain, to where I can cross my legs when Im sitting, to not have to make sure Im sitting by the edge of a couch just so I can use the arm to help myself up. UGH!

I know Im ultra senstive to the comments because its a major change thtat Im about to go through, I just wish they skinny friends would see how blessed they are to not even need to consider having such a surgery.

My experience has been that our skinny friends who are jealous over our surgery is because they are worrying that we are going to better looking then they are. . . and that is true. . . just plain jealousy. . but you know what, once you start losing weight and getting more confident in how your looking, you'll see those friends slow start to disappear. . it's weird but so true. . . skinny people have overweight friends cause they (skinnies) have low self esteems and beside their overweight friend they appear more confident cause the overweight person has a low self esteem already. . . this is just an observation. don't let them upset you, pity them cause of their low esteems. . . poor things. . . you are blessed to be who you are and that your helping yourself. . . keep up the excellent work !smile.gif

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Thank you all so much! I really do appreciate all the comments and seeing that I am not alone in this. This is seriously the best forum and I am so glad I found you all.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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