Body image changes after WLS

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Yes, I see what you mean, since you've basically done this twice, first with the band and now with the sleeve. I thought I wanted a band until I researched it and figured out I didn't. So glad I listened to others re that.

When I got to goal at 135, I thought a little more would be OK, to me (in photos) I still looked a little "plump." So I went to 125 and thought, OK, this is good. But then it was ........well, maybe 5 lbs. more would be better. So when I hit 120 I thought, yeah this is good, and then thought well maybe 118 would be better. You can see how I ended up where I am, definitely too thin, and yes, I see that I'm too thin in the mirror, but in photos with clothes on, I think I look normal according to fashion magazines, which as we all know, are stick thin models in winter clothing (these days.) Anyway, now I'm bouncing between 115-116 lbs. and trying to maintain the weight and even gain a couple of pounds which is not that easy to keep on you. We're about to go through another residential move which always causes lost pounds, and to a cold climate in the winter, which also causes lost weight. I'll be a challenge to maintain during the next month. C'est la vie.

How long have you been at goal, or rather, since you hit your original goal? How long did it take for you to get there? How much weight did you have to lose to get there? You say you didn't exercise, so how did you eat? I guess I'm wanting to live a bit vicariously by hearing from a person who has achieved goal, since I am experiencing a horrible stall/gain pattern that is really putting me down in the dumps.

[Stacy160 201]

I originally picked 160 as my goal. I'm 5'8" and that's right about where I was when I graduated from high school. I looked great then, and I looked good at 172 when I was last there in 1988. I'm at 172 now and just not feeling it. I can fit in the tiny-waisted jeans I wore then. Not only can I fit into my skinny hubby's jeans, I tried to give him a pair of my old ones yesterday and he couldn't get them buttoned! But I don't SEE what I really look like when I look in the mirror. I didn't when I was fat (always looked smaller to myself), and I don't now... I don't see thin, although I do absolutely see thinnER. Even last night, we stood side-by-side in front of the full-length mirrored closet doors, and front-to-front, and looking that way I can see that I'm about his size, but I still don't look at myself and understand what size I am. It takes pictures to do that, and even then I have to cover up my face to really "get" it.

Several months ago, I decided that while 160 might be fine, the top end of "healthy" weight (BMI) for me is 154-156, so I've had 148 in my head. The notion that I will actually get into single-digit sized jeans is a huge motivator for me, and at that weight I could conceivably be not only in 8s, but in SIXES, which is almost inconceivable, even with vanity sizing (I'm currently in a 10). I've even thought that "too skinny" might be fun for awhile, just to feel what that's like, although I don't see that happening 'cause I'm too lazy to work that hard for it LOL.

But anyway... yeah, it's an issue and I'm right there with ya.

[JudyM 2]

I keep asking my husband to point out other women who are the same size as me, as I can't get my head round how big, or rather, how much smaller, I am now. I need to exercise a bit more, and will rectify that shortly.

My mum has now started telling me not to lose too much, or I will look haggard, and not nice, blah blah. I keep reassuring her I'll be careful. I've still a long way to fo to reach my sensible goal!

Some of the comments on here are a bit thought provoking though - made me think of incipient anorexia...

(Hi Coop - there's lush, my lovely!)

[thinoneday 445]

Believe it or not, I actually "LIKE" myself now. . flabby arms, loose skin and all. . .in clothes i look really good and i actually took about 15 years off. . . even my mom and those who haven't seen me in a while state I look A LOT younger. . . I have no wrinkles in my face at all and I'm sooooo very grateful for that. . . i'm 6'0 tall and 205 right now, wear 14/16 (depending on brand) and feel really really good about myself. . . I would love to lose about 30 more pounds, but that can happen after the new year. . .if it happens good, if not then that's good too. . . whatever I'm blessed with is what I'm happy with!

[lissi 15]

Hello,

I think that for me, I have not yet come to the realization that I am thin. I reached my goal approximately 3 months after surgery. It's now eight months after surgery and when I walk into a clothing store, my mind tells me "you need to go to the pluz size side of this store". I think that it takes a little to adjust to so many changes that are going on (on all levels). My goal weight was 130 lbs and I'm weighing 125. I don't want to lose any more weight. I would just like to maintain at this point.

[AJW 18]

My surgery was 8/10/09. I lost 26 pounds on Medifast before surgery (from end of May 09 to Aug. 10th) and weighed 220 on surgery date. It took approx.9 mos. to get to 135, then I kept losing from May 2010 to current date down to 125, then 120, then 118, then 116. I was at 113 when I got a stomach bug, but gained back 3 pounds. This is where I hover. I hit stalls along the way, too, but the loss continued. Now, as I say, I have to remember to eat to maintain and not lose more. I could easily slip down to 112 or 110 if I'm not careful. People who are normal size but heavier than you, and some who are obese, will tell you that you're TOO THIN. Remember that their POV is skewed to the heavier side and your POV will be "I'm not thin enough." I saw myself as FAT when I was FAT. There was no denying I was fat; I had trouble looking in the mirror at all. Now I'm thin, no denying that, but I like looking in the mirror. I look sometimes and think "you're too thin" as my face looks gaunt (hey, I'm 61, so the weight came off differently now than it would when I was 31) so yes, I've lost the "pad" in my face. That can be fixtured with plastic surgery and I'll get to that once we get moved and settled in our new home coming up. With surgery, I'd look put back together and more in my late 40s because I basically have good skin. This is a process of transformation and nobody's process will be the same. Go for what you want and what makes you happy. If you get a little thin, you can always gain some back if you eat all the time (every 2 hours), and supplement with some high calorie foods. I like this weight and prefer to just fix the cosmetic things I can. I can dress in high fashion (couture) sizing which is NOT vanity sized by any means, wear skinny jeans, high heels, rocker chic, etc., in other words, I can dress any way I want to within reason, and still look THIN with clothes on, in the mirror, in photos. My normal sized friends are very jealous, and that's fine with me. My heavy friends think I'm anorexic; that's fine too. It's my process and I have the clothes, shoes and bags to prove it.

How long have you been at goal, or rather, since you hit your original goal? How long did it take for you to get there? How much weight did you have to lose to get there? You say you didn't exercise, so how did you eat? I guess I'm wanting to live a bit vicariously by hearing from a person who has achieved goal, since I am experiencing a horrible stall/gain pattern that is really putting me down in the dumps.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

My surgery was 8/10/09. I lost 26 pounds on Medifast before surgery (from end of May 09 to Aug. 10th) and weighed 220 on surgery date. It took approx.9 mos. to get to 135, then I kept losing from May 2010 to current date down to 125, then 120, then 118, then 116. I was at 113 when I got a stomach bug, but gained back 3 pounds. This is where I hover. I hit stalls along the way, too, but the loss continued. Now, as I say, I have to remember to eat to maintain and not lose more. I could easily slip down to 112 or 110 if I'm not careful. People who are normal size but heavier than you, and some who are obese, will tell you that you're TOO THIN. Remember that their POV is skewed to the heavier side and your POV will be "I'm not thin enough." I saw myself as FAT when I was FAT. There was no denying I was fat; I had trouble looking in the mirror at all. Now I'm thin, no denying that, but I like looking in the mirror. I look sometimes and think "you're too thin" as my face looks gaunt (hey, I'm 61, so the weight came off differently now than it would when I was 31) so yes, I've lost the "pad" in my face. That can be fixtured with plastic surgery and I'll get to that once we get moved and settled in our new home coming up. With surgery, I'd look put back together and more in my late 40s because I basically have good skin. This is a process of transformation and nobody's process will be the same. Go for what you want and what makes you happy. If you get a little thin, you can always gain some back if you eat all the time (every 2 hours), and supplement with some high calorie foods. I like this weight and prefer to just fix the cosmetic things I can. I can dress in high fashion (couture) sizing which is NOT vanity sized by any means, wear skinny jeans, high heels, rocker chic, etc., in other words, I can dress any way I want to within reason, and still look THIN with clothes on, in the mirror, in photos. My normal sized friends are very jealous, and that's fine with me. My heavy friends think I'm anorexic; that's fine too. It's my process and I have the clothes, shoes and bags to prove it.

Yes but - what did you eat/do in those 9 months to lose the 100 lbs?

[AJW 18]

Oh sorry, well I stuck pretty much to the Medifast diet which is a whole lot easier to do after the surgery. I had their Protein Shakes and supplemented with extra Protein, I had Snacks, ate their oatmeal for Breakfast, and had a regular small portion (real food) lean and green dinner. I lost the weight because I couldn't eat very much and that's b/c of the surgery. It was just a lot less calories than I had been eating before starting Medifast and the surgery. Hope that helps you. Keep your protein up, carbs down, follow some kind of plan, and it will come off barring any other physiological issues, etc.

[coops 1,790]

I keep asking my husband to point out other women who are the same size as me, as I can't get my head round how big, or rather, how much smaller, I am now. I need to exercise a bit more, and will rectify that shortly.

My mum has now started telling me not to lose too much, or I will look haggard, and not nice, blah blah. I keep reassuring her I'll be careful. I've still a long way to fo to reach my sensible goal!

Some of the comments on here are a bit thought provoking though - made me think of incipient anorexia...

(Hi Coop - there's lush, my lovely!)

Hey Judy,

It is lush... and tidy like... I'm loving the Gavin and Stacey styleeeeee.... TIDY LIKE!! x

[NtvTxn 1,262]

I never wanted to be this "small". I was perfectly content at my surgeon's goal or 150lbs, I still had boobs, I still had some curves, and all of that is pretty much gone. Plus, I knew people would make a lot of comments on my size if I went below 140. I may only be 5'2", but I have big bones, I have huge knees and ankles, even my elbows are wide so I do look a bit on the "tiny" side especially when I wear short skirts and you can see my huge knee joints. I didn't realize how "small" I looked until a picture of me was taken with a group of my girlfriends, and while I'm only 15-30lbs lighter than them, I appear to be super tiny and it's weird because I didn't see myself "that small" before.

It's taken a lot for me to allow my mind to catch up with my body. I still have a distorted view and I am way more critical of my body now than I ever was at 270lbs. I try to convince myself that other early 30 yr old women have this little stomach pouch, and little muffin top, but I HATE IT some days, other days, it doesn't bother me at all. I look at myself in the mirror, and I imagine what I'll look like after plastics, and what can I do to make it better now. Most days, my imperfections do not bother me at all, I look at myself and think "HOLY SHIT, that's a ROCKIN' little body", and other days I am disappointed in how I look, and I'm ready to sign the release forms for major plastic surgery. I keep thinking if I could lose this stomach pouch, little baby fat roll that I'd look perfect, but I would probably slip to a size 00 and that's just ridiculous for my frame size.

You DO look perfect Tiff - why do we pick ourselves apart??!! We are so critical of ourselves - no wonder so many young girls have eating disorders, the magazine covers, their moms, aunts, sisters...... LOOK AT US!! Look at what we've been through, and seriously, we do look pretty darn good, if we take a step back and see us as others do....and IN CLOTHES, OMG - it's what we've dreamed of....but "if only" kicks in!!! I have to say, I have the up days and down days just like you.....I wish it weren't so but it is. I am six lbs below goal, trying not to lose any more, going up and down with one lb....so I'm getting the hang of "maintaining" but I still have days where I "FEEL FAT" - how crazy is that??!!! Does it ever go away?!!!!

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Hello,

I think that for me, I have not yet come to the realization that I am thin. I reached my goal approximately 3 months after surgery. It's now eight months after surgery and when I walk into a clothing store, my mind tells me "you need to go to the pluz size side of this store". I think that it takes a little to adjust to so many changes that are going on (on all levels). My goal weight was 130 lbs and I'm weighing 125. I don't want to lose any more weight. I would just like to maintain at this point.

Lissi - I know exactly what you mean. I reached my goal at just under five months. I have people tell me I'm "thin" and have even been referred to as "skinny". ME SKINNY??!! Surely they jest!!! Oh my. I pull out my size 8 pair of jeans from the dryer and think there must be some mistake, 'there is no way I can slip into these pants' - but I do, without having to lay on the bed, there is actually a little room. What the heck!!??? I am six lbs under goal - I'm getting the hang of maintaining, I don't want to lose any more weight, I never thought THIS would be the difficult part, STOPPING! Very strange to be adding calories back into my diet. I am snacking because I cannot possibly eat more at meal time. I love my sleeve!

[Tiffykins 672]

You DO look perfect Tiff - why do we pick ourselves apart??!! We are so critical of ourselves - no wonder so many young girls have eating disorders, the magazine covers, their moms, aunts, sisters...... LOOK AT US!! Look at what we've been through, and seriously, we do look pretty darn good, if we take a step back and see us as others do....and IN CLOTHES, OMG - it's what we've dreamed of....but "if only" kicks in!!! I have to say, I have the up days and down days just like you.....I wish it weren't so but it is. I am six lbs below goal, trying not to lose any more, going up and down with one lb....so I'm getting the hang of "maintaining" but I still have days where I "FEEL FAT" - how crazy is that??!!! Does it ever go away?!!!!

It has NOT gone away for me in the least. I've been having major issues with wanting plastics right now. My poor husband is so fabulous about reassuring me that I don't look old, and withered, but I seriously look and nitpick every damn wrinkle on my face (that I should add are not visible until I smile which is apparently NORMAL), but for me, when I was fat, I could smile for days and never see a wrinkle.

I'm start counseling after the 1st of the year, and I'm sure this is a topic we will cover. I'll report back with what we discuss. I'm not seeking counseling due to VSG, or my weight loss. It's family therapy/counseling since we are trying to conceive, and my husband is legally adopting my son. It's a requirement we have to fulfill to please the courts, and I figured, I'd do some individualized counseling for my "issues" as additional support. No amount of reassurance from my husband or closest friends here can convince not to have a BOTOX party and load up my face with fillers.

It's a battle I can honestly say that I was not mentally prepared for. The kicker was when I was photographed recently posted on my FB, my friend said "you look so much like your mom!" That was the nail in the coffin so to speak. . .

[NtvTxn 1,262]

It has NOT gone away for me in the least. I've been having major issues with wanting plastics right now. My poor husband is so fabulous about reassuring me that I don't look old, and withered, but I seriously look and nitpick every damn wrinkle on my face (that I should add are not visible until I smile which is apparently NORMAL), but for me, when I was fat, I could smile for days and never see a wrinkle.

I'm start counseling after the 1st of the year, and I'm sure this is a topic we will cover. I'll report back with what we discuss. I'm not seeking counseling due to VSG, or my weight loss. It's family therapy/counseling since we are trying to conceive, and my husband is legally adopting my son. It's a requirement we have to fulfill to please the courts, and I figured, I'd do some individualized counseling for my "issues" as additional support. No amount of reassurance from my husband or closest friends here can convince not to have a BOTOX party and load up my face with fillers.

It's a battle I can honestly say that I was not mentally prepared for. The kicker was when I was photographed recently posted on my FB, my friend said "you look so much like your mom!" That was the nail in the coffin so to speak. . .

Keep us posted on what the "professional" says. I know many of us might benefit from what you have to report! Good luck!

I am older than you, but before I lost weight, I didn't really see many wrinkles....now, I see more. I guess it is what happens when we lose. BUT - I don't know how many people tell me how much younger I look. Go figure. I am just like you though, I am picking myselt apart when I look in the mirror putting make up on every morning. Ugh, it is a vicious cycle. I would not go back for anything. I love being thin, but still. I'm not as unhappy with my arms as I thought I would be, they aren't tight, but they are so much smaller that I can't gripe too much....and my stomach is not tight, but it's acutally flatter than it's ever been I think; I've lost my behind and my legs were 'tighter' when I was heavy, now the skin on my thighs is loose. I really cannot imagine ever wearing a bathing suit out in public. Yikes!! A botox party, sounds like fun!

[AJW 18]

You're so young with wrinkles; imagine being my age (61) with a face that is too thin and wrinkled after the loss of so much weight. It's an issue, big time, only I need a face lift and neck re-do, along with fillers and whatever else I can manage. That on top of new implants - my skin shrunk around the saline implants so now you can clearly see them if viewing naked. All the clevage went away, so I look like I have (basically) bolt-ons. I'd be happy with face/neck work and a boob re-do. I don't even care that much about the stomach, although there is loose skin, none is hanging off. It reabsorbed pretty well considering the 132 pound loss.

It has NOT gone away for me in the least. I've been having major issues with wanting plastics right now. My poor husband is so fabulous about reassuring me that I don't look old, and withered, but I seriously look and nitpick every damn wrinkle on my face (that I should add are not visible until I smile which is apparently NORMAL), but for me, when I was fat, I could smile for days and never see a wrinkle.

I'm start counseling after the 1st of the year, and I'm sure this is a topic we will cover. I'll report back with what we discuss. I'm not seeking counseling due to VSG, or my weight loss. It's family therapy/counseling since we are trying to conceive, and my husband is legally adopting my son. It's a requirement we have to fulfill to please the courts, and I figured, I'd do some individualized counseling for my "issues" as additional support. No amount of reassurance from my husband or closest friends here can convince not to have a BOTOX party and load up my face with fillers.

It's a battle I can honestly say that I was not mentally prepared for. The kicker was when I was photographed recently posted on my FB, my friend said "you look so much like your mom!" That was the nail in the coffin so to speak. . .

[lissi 15]

Lol...I know exactly what you mean (the look on your face) when someone refers to you as skinny! I'm in shock...I'm thinking ME? No way!! cause I just don't see it at times...It's good to know that I'm not crazy My twin sister gets annoyed with me...she says "You have to be kiddin me, right? You just like people to tell you that you're skinny!" How can you not see it? She just doesn't understand... Are you exercising? how often? how long if you are?

Lissi - I know exactly what you mean. I reached my goal at just under five months. I have people tell me I'm "thin" and have even been referred to as "skinny". ME SKINNY??!! Surely they jest!!! Oh my. I pull out my size 8 pair of jeans from the dryer and think there must be some mistake, 'there is no way I can slip into these pants' - but I do, without having to lay on the bed, there is actually a little room. What the heck!!??? I am six lbs under goal - I'm getting the hang of maintaining, I don't want to lose any more weight, I never thought THIS would be the difficult part, STOPPING! Very strange to be adding calories back into my diet. I am snacking because I cannot possibly eat more at meal time. I love my sleeve!