so the psychologist says try on my own 1 more time with 1 difference before surgery??

[NY Lou 204]

hi everyone. i would like your opinion on this. im 5'9" 310 lbs. i have had many successes losing weight, as much as 87 lbs once, but ive always put it back on. while finishing all the steps to have my dr submit for approval for the sleeve to my insurance, im almost finished with the psych portion. ill be completely done with everything by mon june 28 and then i see my dr for the last visit on june 30 (less than a week away), and thats when he'll submit everything to the insurance for approval. the problem is this:

the psychologist says to me that ive shown the ability to lose weight in the past. he feels that if i was disciplined enough to do this many times, then i could do it again with one simple difference. he feels that if i were to see a psychologist that specializes in eating behaviors, i could possibly lose weight again and not put it back on with the proper support. he says that the reason i put the weight back on is mental, and not physical. he would like me to try to lose weight one last time on my own with the help of a psychologist that specializes in eating behaviors before resorting to this permanent sleeve weight loss surgery. i dont think hes just trying to drum up business because he wouldnt be the psychologist i would be seeing, i would pick one from the ones offered by my insurance. i dont know if i should try this again on my own, or pursue the sleeve which in my eyes would be the tool that would help me with my ability to not put the weight back on again like i have in the past 20 years. hes also telling me that at 310 lbs im not as high in weight that alot of men are when they consider this surgery. hes still going to give me a letter to approve surgery if thats my decision, but hes just telling me his opinion after seeing me and talking to me for a few weeks. what do you guys think? hes confused me a bit and is making me think could he be right? right now i believe the sleeve would be the tool i need and it would definitely help me lose weight and keep it off. thanks in advance for any replies, its appreciated.

Edited June 24, 2010 by Ny Lou

[mb20mom 9]

I think we've all been successful at losing weight over the years, and we all gain it back. One thing I think of every time I lose a pound is, it's never coming back! That is what's different this time. I seriously don't know how someone could possible GAIN weight with the sleeve. There is something very comforting about realizing this, and I honestly think this may be the tool you need. Some days, even when I don't eat sensibly like I should, it seems like the sleeve is an insurance plan not to gain back what you've lost. I love it and have no regrets. I hope you make the decision that works for you. Good luck.:thumbup1:

[MINI-Me 196]

I think we are all EXPERT losers, but not expert maintainers. I have been down that road more times than I can count. Only you know you and what you can/can't do and what you are willing/not willing to do. This is a very personal decision.

Is he saying that he will not give his approval for surgery if you don't try again or just that he would like you to try again?

[NY Lou 204]

thanks mb20mom and mini-me for your replies. mini-me, the dr said he would give me the approval i need for surgery. he was just suggesting based on my history that he feels dealing with a psychologist that specializes in food behaviors might be the tool i need to keep the weight off when i lose it. in my heart i think the sleeve being a restrictive tool is my way of guaranteeing that when i lose weight, i would keep it off. its been a struggle to lose weight and then gain it all back so many times. at the age of 47 im definitely leaning towards getting the sleeve. i think the sleeve may be the best tool for me to succeed long term. i guess its kind of his job to play devils advocate and make sure ive tried everything before i have the surgery as he views the surgery as a last resort. but a big part of me feels after so many years of not keeping the weight off, this is a last resort. but not one as drastic as a bypass, which i would not consider now at all. i know the bottom line is i have to decide for myself whats best for me right now. its just nice to hear others opinions who have been through this struggle. thank you.

[lmmore 0]

You have this forum as a support group to help you. You will do fine.

[MlkPas 5]

If the psychologist is covered by insurance, I'd do that IN ADDITION TO the surgery. We all need some help with our head hunger and other issues. I see my shrink twice a week and it really helps.

But no way would I do the psychologis INSTEAD OF the surgery.

[KabinKitty 10]

Poor Lou, I feel so sorry you've been through so much in your journey to lose weight!

As a person who once lost 75 lbs and kept most of it off for many, many years I think I may be able to identify with what you're going through.

I started gaining weight when I went on blood pressure meds, then came some surgeries and a job where I'm forced to sit alot. Also, throw in my age and here I am with a BMI of about 40.

I don't know if you have any co-morbidities (high BP, sleep apnea, diabeties, etc) but those can make your high weight a risk to your life.

The psycologist's statement "that at 310 lbs im not as high in weight that alot of men are when they consider this surgery" sounds a little crazy! That kind of weight is very dangerous to your health!

It sounds to me like HE is the one who's confused if he is giving his approval for you to have surgery, but trying to discourage you from having it.

Just my thoughts........

[NY Lou 204]

thanks again for everyones continued replies, theyre all appreciated and mean a great deal to me. to kabinkitty, i dont think the psych is trying to discourage me, i think hes just trying to make sure im ready for the surgery if its what i decide to do. it seems hes just putting all my options on the table and is basically asking me if i want to try on my own again, but this time with support from a psych who specializes in food behavior before trying the surgery. hes made it clear the final decision is up to me and will give me a letter of approval for the surgery because hes convinced ive done my research and know exactly what the sleeve entails, including the risks involved, as well as the aftercare necessary after the surgery to be successful. as far as 310lbs not being that high, i guess hes saying that because his experience with weight loss patients involved men who were much heavier than me. also, like you said about co-morbidities, im actually in pretty good health for someone weighing 310lbs (as crazy as that sounds!). im definitely leaning towards getting the sleeve as i kind of feel that if i was going to succeed on my own, i would of already in the last 20 years. again thanks to everyone who has chimed in, this forum and its members is a true blessing.

[delawaregal 2]

I am a therapist and just had the sleeve done. Most of us have addictions to food and seeing a therapist could help but it really is not about discipline. I think that if you have good health and no comorbidities it could not hurt to at least try for a few months before cutting out your stomach. Even if you decide not to wait, the therapy may not be a bad idea. I know I am feeling some emotional loss around food

delawaregal

[deletedsally 8]

I think the psychologist you saw fails to take into account that only 5% of people who lose weight through dieting and exercise are successful at maintaining that loss. I was disciplined enough to lose 80-100 pounds four different times. I was a great dieter--but the more I dieted, the hungrier I got and the heavier I got with each time I regained the weight. I thought I had a "mental problem" and worked closely with a counselor. It didn't help. When I read the research on the effect that dieting has on the body's production of ghrelin and leptin, thing began to make sense. Do your own research and it will place this psychologist's "expertise" in a different light.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

This psychologist sounds like a thin person who has never known the struggle.

[NY Lou 204]

i think the members of this forum have a better understanding of all of this than the psychologist does! and to globetrotter, you are 100 percent correct, the psychologist is tall and very thin. he has probably never experienced the struggle most of us here in this forum have been through. i think the answer is becoming clearer for me and the sleeve is the way to go. its only a matter of time before being 310 lbs catches up to me and my health starts going downhill. although i may not have the co-morbidities others at my weight may have, just carrying that weight around can't be doing my body any good. again, i appreciate all the replies from everyone. this forum is such a powerful support group for anyone considering or already having the sleeve surgery. thank you again so much to everyone, your input is priceless.

[steve-o 0]

Katt hit the nail on the head as far as I'm concerned. My information is that once you are big enough, 95% of all of us are NOT going to be able to maintain a large weight loss for 5 years, without surgery. Discipline, smlishaplin. We may be big, but we're not weak-minded. The numbers for WLS are much better, so I went with the odds.

BTW, my starting weight was considerably lower than yours. I chose the surgery because it works, for most of us it sticks, and because I needed to get past some serious co-morbidities.

[Papillon 7]

I agree with the rest of the forum the choice ultimately is yours. I would research everything you can (which is what I am doing) If you do decide to delay make sure you are keeping up with monthly weigh-ins (if using insurance). You can always get approved and really hit it again and see how things look in 2 months.. etc... I just know for me if I could do it alone I would have already. The sleeve is the added kick in the proverbial (you know what) I will need.

[NY Lou 204]

again thanks for all the replies. i have been researching the sleeve for quite a long time and ive decided that im going to continue forward and try to get the sleeve. im intelligent enough to know that ive been unsuccessful for 20 years in losing weight longterm, so the odds of being successful now are probably slim and none. my final meeting with my dr is on wed 6/30, in just 5 days and everything, including all tests and the psych are now complete. after that meeting he will submit to the insurance for approval. i guess i knew all along this was the right thing to do for me, but questions and concerns always linger in my mind. but if i wasnt planning on going through with this, i wouldnt of completed all the steps, tests, mandatory support group meetings, nutritionist meetings and the psych evaluation to be ready for insurance approval like i am now. i guess all of this second guessing is just a big step in me realizing i need help to get my weight under control. im tired of being tired. im tired of being overweight. im tired of telling myself im in pretty good shape for a 310 lb man, when in fact no man weighing 310 lbs is in good shape at all. thank you all again for your continued support. this forum is 100x better than any support group meeting ive attended. cant wait for the paperwork to be submitted for approval and i hope i get approved without having an insurance fight on my hands. take care everyone and as always, best of luck to all of you, whether pre-op or post-op.