Very Sick- Please Help!

[JillianMarie 0]

Goodlife- i agree- and i'm starting therapy to help deal with emotional and eating issues so hopefully it will help me combat those problems.

[deletedsally 8]

Hi Jillian,

I'm glad to hear that you went to the ER and that you are doing better. I'm not sure if you ever printed out any of the nutritional guidelines for sleeve gastrectomy patients (I think I sent you links to several), but if you didn't, I wish you would do that now. Let me know if you need me to send them to you again. I don't think you are being a pain in the rear, but I am very concerned about the problems you seem to be having adjusting to the sleeve. I wanted to wait until I knew that you were medically stabilized before saying this, because I didn't want to seem harsh or unkind when you were in pain:

It seems as though you have had more problems with your sleeve than you might have had if you had been following some reasonable guidelines for VSG patients. I'm annoyed with your doctor for not providing you with any kind of nutritional guidelines, but in spite of his negligence, you still have a responsibility to educate yourself on how to live well post VSG, and take care of yourself. If it sounds like I'm fussing at you--I am. I understand your reasons for wanting to have your stomach surgically returned to a normal size, but you cannot treat your sleeved stomach the same way you treated your original stomach without inviting serious consequences. The bottom line is that I don't think the sleeve will be as forgiving of the kind of volume eating that you are used to, and it may be really important for you locate a therapist who specializes in eating disorders to help you process and resolve the emotional aspects of compulsive overeating so that you can avoid damaging your stomach and enjoy a healthy life.

Glad you are feeling better!

[MlkPas 5]

Jillian, you've said several times that you are "starting therapy." When? With whom?

It seems to me that getting some psychiatric or psychogical care needs to be at the very top of your "to do" list! As in, today! Honestly, I don't want to scare you but if you were a family member of mine I would be urging you to seriously consider checking into an inpatient eating disorder clinic immediately!

This is what I see from your posts so far: You were eating huge amounts of food before your surgery, you had the surgery within a VERY VERY short time of finding out about it despite the fact that there is no way on earth you would meet the criteria for surgery for any surgeon in the entire United States, with no psychological counseling beforehand and against the advice of your family who warned it wouldn't help your compulsive eating problem, you chose a surgeon who offered no aftercare whatsoever (again, probably the only surgeon who would operate on somebody only 30 pounds overweight with a raging eating disorder), and you have had nothing but problems since your surgery, largely because you have been utterly and completely unable to control your compulsive eating despite the fact that you've had most of your stomach removed.

Honey, you are in a bad way and you need way, way more help than we can give you. If I were your mom I'd have you in the car and in an inpatient facility faster than you could say "they don't operate on your head, the only operate on your stomach!"

Please wake up and take this seriously before you do something irreversible to yourself!!

[ouroborous 519]

MlkPas, you said exactly what I was thinking. I've read some of Jillian's posts and I'm very, very concerned for her. You can't just get this surgery and expect that magically nothing else will change, and you'll just get skinny. You can seriously hurt yourself that way. In fact, you can die that way.

Jillian, I've been one of the "tough love" posters to you, and I completely agree that you need to completely change your mindset. With the sleeve surgery, you no longer have a choice, you have to start eating tiny, bird-like portions, and eating them very, very slowly. The acid reflux alone can lead to esophageal cancer (not to mention what it's doing to your poor sleeve incision).

If you're willing to make the changes and get some counseling, the sleeve can be a great tool for weight loss. But it is not, by itself a magical fix for compulsive eating and bad habits. You have to work with it, not against it, or you're in for a world of hurt (figuratively and literally).

Hopefully you've learned and are scared enough to make some necessary changes.

[LAN2k 18]

I'm relieved for you Jillian. I also agree with goodlife, you must face the feelings that will surface as you will no longer to be able to stuff your belly with excessive amounts of food. Keep in mind that testing the limits can damage your sleeve and God forbid, cause a leak. With only 30lbs to lose I think recovering from a leak would be a travesty, since your capacity to eat solid food would be postponed until the leak healed. I hope you understand that with your changed anatomy you won't ever be able to be a "volume" eater again. I too was a volume eater and at 9 months out can only eat a few ounces (2-6), at any given time. It varies from day to day for some reason some days are easier and others I just feel more restriction. I'm down to anywhere from size 8 to 10 depending on the cut and manufacturer of clothing and it has not been the answer to my feeling fulfilled and content. I still resent the fact that I will never be able to eat in the way I always ate (and I ate for many reasons other than hunger). I'm networked with (OA), Overeater's Anomous groups and it is opening up my eyes and mind giving me insight about how food affected my life. I hope you seek out the support you need to adapt well to the lifestyle change. Take it slow and easy now. Cheers, Lis

[stcyt 15]

I'm so glad your feeling better. Its really hard at first to figure out how much is too much. Many of us had this struggle in the beginning, I'm know I sure did. Its hard to get used to how little our bodies need now. Just take it a day at a time, and learn the lessons as they come.

I was a compulsive eater too. I was pretty good most days but then I would go on binges. Its hard.... sometimes I still get the urge to shovel it in but I know I cant'. I have to find other ways to sooth myself. I'm learning bit by bit. Mostly I find if I'm nice to myself.... I don't need so much self soothing..... hot baths are nice too

Hang in there.... we'll get the hang of this sleeve thing

[MINI-Me 196]

Jillian - Glad to hear that you are feeling better and that you had a wake up call.

One of the best things about this group is the tough love and the responsiveness of the people here. Please take our comments and suggestions in the way they are intended - we do care. Please take care of yourself. Keep in touch with us & we will help where we can. But, get that therapy started immediately.

Sending cyber hugs your way ... you can defeat this & be the healthy you that you want to be!

[SouthernSleever 236]

Sounds like you didn't recieve the info from you surgeon you should have. We all know what it's like to eat for reasons other than hunger. Like others said, getting some counseling will help you out a lot. I'd hate to see your addiction to food go on to something else. <hugs> What a terrible thing to go through, I hope you are feeling lots better.

[pcindy 8]

hope by the time you've read this, you've gone to the emergency room.

[pcindy 8]

Jillian, i'm glad you did go to the ER. I have not had my VSG yet, but I know I would not be ready for it had I not found recovery and support for my underying eating disorder long prior to this. I see the VSG as a physiological tool in fighting a multifaceted disease. Please visit www.OA.org, locate some meetings in your area, and try 3 different meetings before deciding if OA is for you. I wish you success and believe you can find the support you seem to need, and most certainly deserve.

[Tiffykins 673]

Jillian, you've said several times that you are "starting therapy." When? With whom?

It seems to me that getting some psychiatric or psychogical care needs to be at the very top of your "to do" list! As in, today! Honestly, I don't want to scare you but if you were a family member of mine I would be urging you to seriously consider checking into an inpatient eating disorder clinic immediately!

This is what I see from your posts so far: You were eating huge amounts of food before your surgery, you had the surgery within a VERY VERY short time of finding out about it despite the fact that there is no way on earth you would meet the criteria for surgery for any surgeon in the entire United States, with no psychological counseling beforehand and against the advice of your family who warned it wouldn't help your compulsive eating problem, you chose a surgeon who offered no aftercare whatsoever (again, probably the only surgeon who would operate on somebody only 30 pounds overweight with a raging eating disorder), and you have had nothing but problems since your surgery, largely because you have been utterly and completely unable to control your compulsive eating despite the fact that you've had most of your stomach removed.

Honey, you are in a bad way and you need way, way more help than we can give you. If I were your mom I'd have you in the car and in an inpatient facility faster than you could say "they don't operate on your head, the only operate on your stomach!"

Please wake up and take this seriously before you do something irreversible to yourself!!

Amen, I pretty much said the same thing before she even went through with the surgery.

Jillian- I know you said you've done counseling before, and it didn't work. Obviously, stapling off and completely excising 80%+ of your stomach isn't going to fix these issues either.

Please, if you truly want to be healthy, get the proper medical and professional help that the behaviors you've shared indicate you may need to overcome these issues.

[asafdeye 0]

Awe Jillianmarie, I can't believe you can even put that much in at once. How did you feel as you were eating the yogurts etc.?? There are some foods that i realize I need to steer clear of that go down way too fast that could cause that too. Thank goodness you didn't get a leak and hopefully you will use this experience as a learning tool. Mental is 99% of our recovery get the help you need, even if just in support groups. We all want to be successful in our weight loss journey. Hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself, we all make mistakes.

hang in there,

amy

[BJean 16]

My doctor's dietician also suggested the baby spoon. It does help to have a visual of what the size bite you're supposed to be eating.

I'm like one of the others above, I couldn't have eaten an entire container of yogurt at one sitting during the first month after surgery. But I think that having had the sleeve and going through years of dealing with that kind of pain and vomiting if I did eat too big a bite, really helped to train me for the sleeve. Without that reference I'm sure I would have tested the limits like you did with the sleeve.

Don't beat yourself up too much. Just remember that you are only supposed to eat very small quantities throughout the day. And girl be very, very careful with those supplements! You really shouldn't be trying to take so much along with food and liquid all at the same time. See if your pharmacist has a suggestion for a crushable or chewable alternative. Mine got me a crushable anti-depressant that my doctor didn't even know existed.

My doctor's one big complication patient was a guy who was used to taking a lot of Vitamin supplements before the sleeve surgery. He took them as usual and wound up aspirating them and nearly dying. Had to be rushed to the hospital and have surgery to save his life.

I'm only telling you this to impress upon you how important it is that you only take in very small quantities of food, drink and pills at one time.

Hang in there. I'm glad we have this website for answers when we have problems like this, especially for those who have doctors that are not in their hometown.

[trish4 3]

JillianMarie - hope you are feeling better. I do the same thing as you - the mental hunger - the amount seems so small that we can eat now. We just have to try. Take it a day at a time - some days will be better than others but as long as you are trying it will be OK. The Protein Shakes that I make help me a lot = they do help the hunger - I always make them with milk and fruit (I know some people would make them with Water but I want the Calcium and Protein and the fruit sweetens them. Also I make them with a lot of ice cubes so that I'm also getting some of the required water. I buy the Protein Powder from costco. They are very very easy going down because it is mostly liquid. I know it's hard but just keep trying. Thank heavens for this web site!!! Also if you had this done by Dr. Aceves (I read in one of the posts to you that yuo had it done by "Dr. A") Anyway, IF it was Dr. Aceves - just email Gaby she will help you. She always gets back to you QUICK.

[shiftling 0]

Amen, I pretty much said the same thing before she even went through with the surgery.

Jillian- I know you said you've done counseling before, and it didn't work. Obviously, stapling off and completely excising 80%+ of your stomach isn't going to fix these issues either.

Please, if you truly want to be healthy, get the proper medical and professional help that the behaviors you've shared indicate you may need to overcome these issues.

These are all my concerns every time I read a post myself, thank you all for saying what I couldn't. Jill we really do care for you, don't take it as criticism please!