scheduled & sabatoged

[shasta 0]

Well I'm super excited! My surgery is scheduled for May 12th!!!!

In the beginning my closest friends were in total support. Some of them even jealous! And then, as soon as my actual date was scheduled, it turned bad. They actually sat me down and did an "intervention"!!! I knew there would be some worry and concern, but that was above and beyond what I expected! They actually told me I was going to die on the table, and what would my 9 year old daughter do without a mother? Then they actually tried to get me to smoke and drink pop knowing I have beem struggling with those addictions. They dragged my boss into it, speculating that I would have to be off of work for a month, and in general, just really hurt my feelings. The psychologist said that friends and family may try to sabatoge me, but this was ridiculous!! Anyone else struggle with this? I still just wanna cry, and my boyfriend wants to beat them all up. How do I get everyone to understand??? :thumbup:

[MidwestGirl 8]

Wow! I am really sorry you are having to go through this. First off, I would let them know that you and your doctor know what is best for your health. Not your friends. And second, yes there are risks, as with any surgery. But what are the risks of staying obese? sleep apnea, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and a million other things. Yes, having a good support group is very important. Let them know that too and that, even if they don't agree with your decision, you are doing this for YOU, and you are doing this for your daughter. It is good that they care, but you need their support. Even if they do not agree with your decision at this point, they should care about you enough to realize that this is YOUR decision and no one else's. I would sadly that if they cannot understand that, perhaps you need a new support group.

And trying to get you to smoke and drink soda?! What the heck is that?!?! There is a line between trying to persuade someone of something based on the possible risk. But sabotage? That is downright sickening. They should be ashamed of themselves.

I wish you the best of luck & you know we are all behind you. If you can't get the support you need for this truly life-changing surgery from your real-life friends, you know you can always come here for support. :thumbup:

[Stacy160 201]

Oh - My - GOD. I would be so freaking pissed.... I'm pissed for you! How totally inappropriate and uncalled for. There are some psychological issues involved there, that's for sure, but they're not yours! Jeez.... I mean damn, unbelievable! Lots of people have said that going through this tells you who your real friends are.

[Lillie24 2]

WOW... all I can say is WOW. I can understand people expressing their concerns but have they even tried educating themselves on the surgery? Have they viewed the information on illnesses due to being overweight and obese? Most of my close friends understand the struggles I have faced most of my life and they are in my corner 100%. Even to the point of wanting to do a rotation to help take care of me after surgery. I am thankful for them. But in regards to the way they did this to you... well that has just pissed me off. That was very wrong of them. Not to mention... getting your job involved!! OMG.. that is just horrible. Well... all I can offer you is my support. You are doing this for yourself and for your daughter.... think how your quality of life will change after the weight is off.... And think of your health. Take care and let me know if you need anything..

[Mary Gordon 3]

that's real sad and the only advice i could give you is for you to tell them that this is your decision and that you would really like them to support you and if they decide not to, then it's their choice. Don't take it personal, it's nothing against you, they are the ones that don't want to accept your decision. i wish you the best and i hope all goes well!!!:001_tongue:

[LAN2k 18]

I am amazed at how ignorant some people can be! Seriously to arrange an "intervention" and then to try to get you to smoke and drink "pop"? To tell you that you will die? That's nuts I mean wow what an eye-opener this should be for you with regard to the people you work with. I'm so glad your husband supports you! You will be fine but maybe it's a good idea to venture into a new job? Sorry but what a bunch of quacks they all sound like...really.

[Keys Pirate 70]

Unfricking believable. I am so p.o.d reading this. And so very saddened at the same time. Girlfriend, we come to this board for straight up advice, right? Ok, you need to seriously distance yourself from these people, asap; they are poison and truly messed up. One of the tenets of kicking any addiction is finding new company - I think this is a Classic case for this. I think you'll be wasting your breath telling these folks everything Midwest Girl and the others are suggesting (no offense guys!) just forget about these people, for you. Stay strong, stay with everyone on this board, find new friends and don't even think about cancelling your surgery, you are going to be ecstatically happy before you know it!!!!

C

[pumpkin07 32]

wow.....I have to say they are concerned about you and uninformed, but also, wow just a little manipulative.

If my friends did that though I would have to really stop and listen to their concerns. Bc my friends are true and true.

I did have one person against my decision but she was very respectful in how she voiced it. We were kinda food buddies too, going to lunch together, etc. We haven't discussed it much since then we just stay off topic. Her concerns though, they were valid. It was a big risk, maybe too big a risk looking back and realizing how serious complications can become.

But no one was so disrespectful to me. I have to say I would listen to my friends concerns, but also really look at their motives and see if they are tried and true.

But once you go for it, I hope they support you.

[seaview 2]

Hey,

I think that most people like us. Meaning people who overeat compulsively are caretakers. We take care of everyone else except ourselves and then eat to take care of ourselves. This surgery decision was the one time in my life. The ONE time that I did something just for me. Despite everyone's wishes, worries, scary stories, sabotage attempts. When I would sit quietly with myself and listen to my inner voice , I knew that it was right for me. I am two weeks out and still have not told my mother and sister because I know they will make me cry and be scared. You will be fine. You will not die. And you have a support here that will always be here and that understands. If you have only one supportive person in your life that's all you need. I had my husband. Everyone else can go fish. Seaview