Snappy comebacks for rude comments about WLS

[Tiffykins 672]

Tiff your comments are brilliant but I hope beyond hope that you have only had to keep this arsenal to yourself and that people weren't actually so rude as to put you into a corner to have to use such comebacks. That goes for everyone posting on this thread. Anything we do to improve ourselves so drastically should be embraced by others. It kills me sometimes to think how bad some people suck. I'm so sorry if people have actually said these kinds of thing to you Tiff or anyone here... :thumbup:

All of those comments have been received from my immediate family and a long term friend. My brothers, step-sisters and mother. Yes, the very people that are supposed to be the most supportive, and loving have bashed me since losing weight.

One of my "fat" friends (as she calls herself my fat friend), told me I looked like a bobblehead doll. We've been friends for 8 years. And, she's the one that made the comment about the fajita dinner.

I've actually used all of those comebacks with my family. There are various other comments that I didn't even add in here because truthfully they cut extremely deeply. I've tried for so many years to not allow what people thought/said about me bring me down. But, sometimes, it hurts, I'm human, I have feelings, and they will never realize just how badly their little "comments out of concern" break my heart.

[Keys Pirate 70]

That's really sad but you've made it abundantly clear how very strong you are through all of this. I'm truly sorry that it is mostly your family of all people that have made these comments to you - it's not so easy to just dismiss family from our lives nor their comments. I guess, somehow, we've gotta look VERY deep within and know that they truly mean no harm and are being jealous dingbats, as difficult as that may be. I feel like people like that - who may not even need to lose weight - see us attaining a goal so huge in our lives and feel like they can't compare goal-wise and therefore must lash out...? Makes no sense but I'm just trying to find some scrap of justification for this garbage. WE all know how huge your success is and, equally as important, what a true angel you are to this board and the people here. Love ya Doll, keep hangin in there.

[WingRider 1]

I think all replies so far have been from women. So for a guy's point view. I haven't had any comments or rude questions thrown my way and I am very open about my WLS. If there are things being said I don't hear them, but if I don, F'em! No big deal to me.

Bill

[ash 5]

Wow, I sure hope I can remember some off these if I need them! Only one person (that I can think of) has said something about me cheating, and I can't remember what I said in reply. She was joking, but it's stuck with me.

[educationrulz 18]

Rude comment: " Aren't you sad that you can't eat the entire fajita dinner?"

Comeback: " About as sad as I was when I realized my back fat was gone, and I don't look like a can of Grands Biscuits that's been popped open."

This is hilarious Tiff. I agree with you that this kind of stuff hurts. People should know it's hard enough without them trying to point out how difficult our situation is. Unfortunately, showing weakness or hurt in these kind of situations can open you up for further rudeness. Sometimes, you just have to shut people up.

I think if anybody asks me if I'm sad about not being able to eat as much, I'm going to tell them that I'll shed a few tears while I'm in the dressing room at Macy's trying on cute little outfits. :crying:

[educationrulz 18]

I love all these comments! It's too bad I can't use them since I choose not to tell people I had surgery.

I knew all those comments would come and that's why I made the decision and I have never regretted it.

Weight loss was a lot slower for me since I was banded first, but I know it's a shock to people who haven't seen me in a long time.

I hope all you who are newly sleeved can learn to deal with all these rude people, cause the weight is going to be falling off!

I have really struggled with whether or not to tell people about my surgery. There is one main reason I've decided to be up front with people who will see me loose weight quickly and witness my eating habits (mostly my co-workers). I can't stand the thought of people whispering about me behind my back, playing guessing games about why I lost weight, and labeling me with an assortment of medical conditions and diseases that would explain my sudden weight loss. The thought of trying to talk around all of this makes me tired. I decided that it may just be better for me to put it out there to take away the mystery and gossip factor.

Of course, the flip side of that is creating the fact that some people will feel the need to criticize and preach. I'm not sure which of these two options will be worse, but right now the behind the back gossiping seems worse to me. I'm really not sure how I will actually handle this after surgery. My sister is the only one who will know up until my surgery time, so I have the option to change my mind.

[breezy 8]

I just got the GSS on April 13th and I've been thinking about just this subject. It's easy not to tell people that I don't know well, but the ones I share with regularly all know. So far I haven't gotten any comments like these _to my face_, and I don't know how I'll react if I do. Probably depend on my mood at the time.

It was interesting to me to find that some of my family of origin were the ones that I felt the most uncomfortable telling. The family I have developed since being an adult (and by that I mean my children, husband, work friends) have so far been supportive.

[KZol 0]

Eh. I've been criticized for "frivolous" surgery (breast reduction) by my extended family and you know what? Everybody comes around. Or NOT. Whatever. I finally chose not to waste my energy worrying about what other people thought.

People who say "Oh, I would never have done that..." I just tell "It's good it wasn't your choice then." and smile. Let them enjoy their misery. I'm doing what's right for me.

[Teresa 47 0]

I decided to tell everyone, much easier for me. So far all of my friends have been supportive. The only mean things being said to me are from my mom and my oldest daughter has made a few comments. My whole family is thin so I thought that they would be more supportive. My favorite one so far is when my mom made the comment last week that I should have been on my post diet all along and why could'nt have done this without surgery. My only comeback was I guess you raised a failure. Not funny or snappy but it mader her stop and hopefully think before she makes anymore comments.

[sickofrollercoaster 7]

Teresa, sorry that she said that! I know this is easier said then done but... STICKS AND STONES! How about "Hey Mom, if I could have surgery to save my life, would you support me?" I think the nasty comments sometimes from our family MIGHT be masking their own fears about what we are doing, just a thought.

You sound like you have your head on straight and this decision was made with your head AND your heart!

Best of luck!

[slebme 0]

"don't you feel like you're cheating by having surgery?"

comment: aww hello! geez my tiny ass must be looking good. Don't worry sistha I don't want your man :thumbup1:. I'm not a cheater..... I don't think........

[Sheri 0]

:001_tt2:Love this thread! I have only told my family and a few close friends, if anyone says anything stupid I just say for over ten years I have had high cholesterol and failed miserably to get it down. The final straw was being told I would be on Diabetes meds shortly in the future. One of my favorite come backs would have to be " You can fix fat but you cant fix ugly". Or you can just say "God doesnt like Ugly". But until someone walks in your shoes, they just have a hard time understanding.

[kalew 0]

Thank all of your for your insight. My surgery date is May 17 and so far I have only told my grown children and a couple of close friends. Most are supportive and want to see how mine goes to see if they want the surgery too!! I do remember hearing these comments about a co-worker a few years ago, all behind her back. Women are so catty, I just remember how great she looked when she lost her weight. Everyone was jealous.

[samanthadiva 0]

It amazes me that if you have a heart condition, diabeties or high blood pressure its acceptable to get treatment, but when you treat the root cause (obesity) it turns into a MORAL issue. This is MY body. We are doing to healthy thing and when you consider the risks of staying fat vs having surgery.......the odds are in our favor. I always have one comment for people who do or say anything that is offensive to me.....kick rocks. It makes just about as much sense as their uninvited comments.

[SamieTeacher 0]

When I had the lap band in Feb of 2008, I confided in a teacher at the school I teach at who then told the entire staff. When I had my revision on April 5th of this year, I told everyone. My students (7th and 8th grade) have been the most supportive of all...go figure. :-)