Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Snappy comebacks for rude comments about WLS



Recommended Posts

Hey guys,

After reading and posting to a thread by Nikki about some issues with people commenting on her surgery, I started thinking about some ways I plan to deal with this post-op. I've discussed this in counseling and I've read some other threads here and there on the forum about how sleevers have handled people who go too far with comments about your surgery. I was thinking that maybe we could have a dedicated thread to discuss this.

I tend to be a little sarcastic in nature but I try to keep it under wraps. I guarantee I'm going to let it out full blast when I have to deal with rude comments. But, I'm sure others will deal with it in a more philosophical way, like this great comeback posted by mistiblu - "don't you feel like you're cheating by having surgery?" My reply, " yes, cheating obesity, heart disease, and diabetes, but cheating weight loss no".

Please post here with some situations/comments you've had and what you said or plan to say to bring all discussion to a STOP! I appreciate everyone's input because I tend to think of great comebacks 20 minutes after the person has walked off, so I'm gonna need some help in this area.

I'll kick things off...

Rude comment: You sure took the easy way out.

Response: (with a big smile) You're right. It's been SOO easy for me doing it this way...except for that pesky 2 month stringent post-op diet, and making sure I don't get dehydrated, and counting Protein and carbs. Yeah, it's been VERY easy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rude comment : "You know, everyone knows you aren't naturally thin."

Comeback: "really, I guess that's better than looking naturally fat."

Rude comment: " Aren't you sad that you can't eat the entire fajita dinner?"

Comeback: " About as sad as I was when I realized my back fat was gone, and I don't look like a can of Grands Biscuits that's been popped open."

Rude comment : "well, it must be nice to not worry about what you eat since you had surgery."

Comeback : " Oh, I know, trying to get in that 60+grams of Protein, fresh veggies, 64ounces of Water, and keeping my calories in check, is definitely easier when my stomach can only hold about 5-6 ounces per meal. It's super simple (add a nice smirk, and head tilt)."

Rude comment: " You look sick, your bones are sticking out in your neck"

Comeback: "really, I look sick now? Because at 270lbs (Insert your pre-op weight), all you could say about my appearance is that I had such a pretty face if I could just lose weight, I'd be gorgeous. So, which one is it, I'm skinny and sick, or fat and destined to be just a pretty face?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Way too go tiffy!

how about yeah I got surgery to assist me with weightloss when are you getting surgery so you stop being an a$$hole!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate the THAT!

RUDE: You took the easy way out.

Comment: Yep I totally did by letting someone cut me open to remove a large part of a working organ, would you like me to demonstrate just how easy it was with this pocket knife I have in my purse?

Then throat kick them and run away = ]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is what I always say to folks that want to point out that I have a large back side, "Surgery and healthy habits will help me fix that, too bad there is no surgery for your nasty attitude!"

Also, I tell my children all the time when someone says something to hurt their feelings, people who feel it necessary to put you down is actually not feeling so well about themselves. I find this to be so true!

A little boy told me son the other day that I had a big butt, yes a LITTLE boy!!! My son was so upset!!! I had to teach him the sticks and stones saying. My son told me right in front of the little boy AND his parents. I made sure that my response to him was that I did not care what others thought about me, it is all about how I feel about myself and that this little boy must not feel too good about himself to be talking bad about someone's Mommy that way! My son said "Mommy, I think he is jealous that I have such a great Mommy!" CLASSIC!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For any comment about the easy way....

"In the last 25 years I've lost and gained over 1000 pounds the hard way, I decided to take a smarter route and do something that actually works long term. Why would I waist more time doing something that has not worked for me in the past?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally like : "mind your own damn business and go ahead and gossip with the others because as soon as I turn my back yall are going to talk about it anyway".

Or: you had a boob/nose/lip job... How is my surgery any different...oh other than I did mine for my health, where you got the new boobs/nose!/lips for your health?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are have been times when I doubted my decision not to tell everyone, but while reading the comments above this is not one of them. I decided that this was my decision - my body - my life and so the only people who know is my husband and a good friend (who is now considering it for herself). Yes, they know I'm dieting (again) counting calories, carbs, drinking lots of Water and making sure I exercise. The only thing they do not know is that this time I have help. I have a new took to help me be successful but it will be me that will have to do the work. I did not discuss it with them while I gained weight so I am not discussing it with them while I lose it. And everyday, I am glad. Sure, I want to shout when the scales go down 5 lbs but I'm happy I have no one asking me how much I have lost on the days the scales go up 2 lbs. Will I ever tell them? Maybe, if I think it will be a benefit to them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think it's anyones business. I would just say "when I want your opinion I will ask for it"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think it's anyones business. I would just say "when I want your opinion I will ask for it"

I'm with you. It's nobody's business except for those I choose to tell, and those people have been overwhelmingly supportive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love all these comments! It's too bad I can't use them since I choose not to tell people I had surgery.

I knew all those comments would come and that's why I made the decision and I have never regretted it.

Weight loss was a lot slower for me since I was banded first, but I know it's a shock to people who haven't seen me in a long time.

I hope all you who are newly sleeved can learn to deal with all these rude people, cause the weight is going to be falling off!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I generally say... "mmm haven't you taken your happy pills today?"

or

"don't you feel like you're cheating by having surgery?"

I say... "well I didn't realise there were any rules I had to follow. Am I cheating somehow? My goal has been to get fit and healthy. Silly me"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I made the decision to only tell my closest friends and immediate family, but needless to say word has spread and I'm now hearing all the above type remarks second hand. It's making me so mad!

Why do people see what we are doing for our own health as their bloody business grrrrrrrrrr!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My morbidly obese grandfather spent 20 years dying (and torturing his loved ones),with multiple open heart surgeries, severe diabetes, blood pressure through the roof, multiple cancers.....easy way, hard way, WHATEVER. I'll take ANY way out of THAT that I can get!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rude comment : "You know, everyone knows you aren't naturally thin."

Comeback: "really, I guess that's better than looking naturally fat."

Rude comment: " Aren't you sad that you can't eat the entire fajita dinner?"

Comeback: " About as sad as I was when I realized my back fat was gone, and I don't look like a can of Grands Biscuits that's been popped open."

Rude comment : "well, it must be nice to not worry about what you eat since you had surgery."

Comeback : " Oh, I know, trying to get in that 60+grams of Protein, fresh veggies, 64ounces of Water, and keeping my calories in check, is definitely easier when my stomach can only hold about 5-6 ounces per meal. It's super simple (add a nice smirk, and head tilt)."

Rude comment: " You look sick, your bones are sticking out in your neck"

Comeback: "really, I look sick now? Because at 270lbs (Insert your pre-op weight), all you could say about my appearance is that I had such a pretty face if I could just lose weight, I'd be gorgeous. So, which one is it, I'm skinny and sick, or fat and destined to be just a pretty face?"

Tiff your comments are brilliant but I hope beyond hope that you have only had to keep this arsenal to yourself and that people weren't actually so rude as to put you into a corner to have to use such comebacks. That goes for everyone posting on this thread. Anything we do to improve ourselves so drastically should be embraced by others. It kills me sometimes to think how bad some people suck. I'm so sorry if people have actually said these kinds of thing to you Tiff or anyone here... :thumbup:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×