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Prickly People



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I'm just going to get this off my chest. . .i've noticed that some of the newer people that are coming onboard this forum are rude! They are so prickly and condesending. . . I really don't like that at all. . .this is supposed to be a "support" group and not "lets beat down the next person in line" . . . this could be why so many of the old group has left and gone elsewhere. . . I'm really dissappointed in some of the folks that get on . . . thanks for listening. . . feel better now. . . have a good day!

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I'm sorry to hear that people have been rude, and I certainly hope that this isn't intentional on anyone's part. I have noticed from time to time that people get a bit jumpy, especially about their choice in how/when/where to have surgery, and by which doctor... Hang in there, and hope whomever is bugging you will chill out. :( :thumbup: :smile:

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Oh I'm a newby! I hope that I haven't offended anyone. I come here for the great advise and the fact that everyone is so friendly. I hope that doesn't change :o

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Oh I'm a newby! I hope that I haven't offended anyone. I come here for the great advise and the fact that everyone is so friendly. I hope that doesn't change :o

Oh gosh no! it was a guy, but he doesn't hardly come in anymore. . this fool just thought he knew everything about anything and was very very rude about some comments made by others. . .i'm so glad he had either decided to chill out or go away. .

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I hope I haven't scared anyone away either! This has become a safe haven for me because some of the things you experience pre and post op are so crazy and unique to only this experience so no one else can understand.

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I haven't noticed any of this, but I'm a newbie. For the record, I don't think that stating facts and opinions is "condescending". People should be secure enough in themselves to handle different points of view. I got accused of being "high and mighty" when all I was doing was using my 15 years experience in education to give a truthful, but perhaps unpleasant point of view. People need to man up and be able to handle that there are points of view other than their own. It's a question of insecurity vs. maturity.

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I'm a newbie, and if I ever come across as being rude, please know it was not on purpose, and please let me know. I do kid and joke around but I'm never rude. I really enjoy coming on here everynight and readng what everyone has to say. I have learned alot this past month, and I know when it is time for my surgery I will be ready because of all of you. I have been on forums before were I would never post anything because I was afraid of the replies I would get. Not on here, if I have something on my mind or have a question I know I can ask it without being embarassed or worried about someone making me feel stupid.

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Sorry you felt ill at ease thinoneday. I think I know the thread you are referring to. I've been around for awhile and trust me that is not the norm. We just get some cranky posters sometimes. Some people get really emotional and then loose it.

I think a lot of people come on here in the early days of their journey and but after that they just drift away.

I love this site over the others. Easy to read and the people here seem more caring and genuine. You can also ask the most bizarre questions and someone is always willing to step up and take the time to help. Judgement is rarely passed.

Hope it helps.

Will

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Actually, I haven't noticed it because I'm fairly new as well. I was totally lashed out at and deleted the post and then moved into my shell. It's taken a few days for me to lick my wounds a bit I guess but I'm guilty or being snarky about it. It totally hurt my feelings that I made a heartfelt post and I was bashed for it. It was also embarrassing so maybe that added to it. *shrugs*

Renee`

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Sorry you felt ill at ease thinoneday. I think I know the thread you are referring to. I've been around for awhile and trust me that is not the norm. We just get some cranky posters sometimes. Some people get really emotional and then loose it.

I think a lot of people come on here in the early days of their journey and but after that they just drift away.

I love this site over the others. Easy to read and the people here seem more caring and genuine. You can also ask the most bizarre questions and someone is always willing to step up and take the time to help. Judgement is rarely passed.

Hope it helps.

Will

Will,

I agree. It seems like people just disappear! I prefer this site over OH 110%! You guys keep me motivated... and I will admit; I like jumping on those mean people :) No one will bully in VST when I am around!! LOL

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Aw, I am happy to say I haven't seen this on my stint at VST so far, but I hope that this place remains the kind and supportive place I have come to know and love.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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