Hello,

My family is really making me reconsider my choice for surgery. The only person that supports my decision right now is my husband.

My surgery is scheduled for April 15th. My surgery is self pay and is going to cost me around $21,000.

My mom wants me to instead of going through the drastic surgery, spend the money on a nutritionist and personal trainer. She says if they can do it on like The Biggest Loser, if I higher a personal trainer and do it that way that it would be so much cheaper and safe. She says she knows that I can do it because I spent all last year working out at a gym, but I just need the extra support of a personal trainer.

What should I do? Should I keep my surgery date and have all of my family be super upset with me, or should I get a personal trainer and do it that way!

I really could use some good advice on this. Please Help!

Kara:scared0:

Change4theBetter - I have 3 children: I have ONLY told 1 child and my husband and 1 friend - that's it. For the very reason you are going through what you are. Neither my husband or daughter nor friend approve - but they aren't being negative about it. I'm scheduled for this Tuesday with Dr. Aceves. I was scheduled in the U.S. but the surgeon I was going to use has only done about 35 sleeves - and Dr. Aceves has done upwards of about 800-900 and so I felt much more comfortable going to him. I too was going to pay $24K - Dr. Aceves is $9K - I am not using him because of his lower price but because of his experience and track record. If I'm going to do this, believe me I want someone wtih experience. Ignore your family - ignore those who are not supportive. Health is the most important - Some people can take off weight - but most people can't keep it off. All the best to you

Thank you for all your posts!

Its my mom, and my aunt who don't want me to have the surgery. The problem is that I am using the money from my trust fund given to me by my mothers father to pay for this surgery. She thinks its crazy for me to spend this much money. She thinks if I higher a trainer it would cost so much less and I would get the same results. She keeps throwing it in my face about how all these ppl who have had the surgery have gained the weight back. (What's her name from the Wilson Phillips).

She thinks about all those ppl who go on The Biggest Loser and lose all that weight. She thinks I should just do it that way and save my money.

UGG!!! I just don't know!!!!

It's a concern I have too, as I know when I set my mind to it I can loose... but every time I do it I never get to goal, and always put it back on.... this time is the only time I have managed to reign in and not gain it all back and more. As radical as it may seem I know this surgery is really the only answer for me.

My comment to you (as I'm also pre op) would be about your payment method.... your trust fund. Your Grandfather left you the money for your future - your life.

This surgery will give you a much better life as a result, if you did falter with the diet and gain it all back and more its puts you in high risk bracket, so I am sure given your situation he would understand.

I wish you luck with your decision... but I would say go for it.

Kathy

There is no way to use your money that is more valuable - or with a greater return - than investing it in your health and your life. The source of the funds is irrelevant, it is still yours. Yours. Entrusted to you. Within your heart you know you made the wise choice, but you are 24 and not long out from under Mom's wing. Remember, Moms don't always make the best decisions, and sometimes they interfere when they shouldn't. Go to your mom, hug her and tell her you have made your choice with all the years of good decision-making skills she taught you, and now that you have made it, all is right with your world.

In a few short years your health with be wrought with disease and pain and the money will be gone for other things. You are smart to act now. Attend your support groups and encourage your family to. God bless you, and please post updates to how this is going. This surgery will give you a brand new life - a healthy weight, and healthy body with which to go through life enjoying it : ).

GHJ

Kara,

I completely understand you, I was in your position a while back ago. I am 31 yrs old and have been battling with my weight all my life. The heaviest I got was 211 before my surgery and I'm only 5'1!!!! I did the personal trainer, I did the diets, I would kill myself at the gym, i would cry, I did phentermine and lost about 20 lbs, but guess what? Life changes, stress happens, you get a new job, etc. And I gained the weight back! In December of last year I reached a breaking point, I just couldn't stand being miserable anymore. Luckily, I did not have any major health issues, just a little high cholesterol. But I made the decision, and I only told 3 people!!! That's it! Because I knew that my own family was going to bring me down! I knew exactly what they were going to say and how they were going to react. I did extensive research and searched for a good doctor.

I have to tell you, that I used up almost every penny in my savings account and on Feb. 11th of this year I had my surgery done. I don't regret it whatsoever!! It was the best thing I have ever done for myself! I have lost 23 lbs so far and I feel great! I'm exercising a lot and now am starting to feel so much more energized!

So....bottom line, listen to yourself! Don't listen to all the negative comments! It is life changing, but it's for the better! I think you should go for it...just like Tiffy mentioned, you might lose a lot of weight with a trainer and diet, but the BIG problem is keeping it off for the rest of your life!!! Are you really going to pay a trainer for the rest of your life?

Also, this forum has been a God-send for me! There are amazing people on here that are always there for you! Whenever you have a question or a worry, just turn to this forum and someone will always be there for you.

Well, good luck, and please keep us updated.

Take care,

Sury

Here's what I know from my personal experience:

I spent close to $5000 in a year on a personal trainer and nutritionist. I lost 30 pounds. I gained it back without even really trying.

I had the VSG in July of 09 and I lost 100 pounds in 8 months. Now, I know there are many who have complications, but I have not. I followed doctor's orders and now that I'm completely healed, I feel amazing. You do what is right for YOU and as long as you have your husband's support, go for it. My husband encouraged me to do it long before I was mentally ready.

The sleeve gives me that will power to stop eating when I'm full. I never could do that on my own. And believe me, I'm full FAST. I still have days where I snack between meals when I shouldn't, but those days come and go and I'm still losing.

I think you have a lot of support here. Best of luck to you!

Thanks for all your replies. I have cancelled my surgery that was scheduled for April 15th. My goal now, is to find a personal trainer and work with them for a little while, still planning on getting the sleeve done some day soon. Sometime in the next 6 months. I don't want to put it off any later then that as I want to have childrent before I'm 28 and with the recovery time I would be cutting it close. I plan on researching surgeons now. Less expensive surgeons with more sleeves done with better results. I would have to do some convincing with my husband If I were to go to Mexico, but I can see if I can find someone in the states that has good experience for a good price. The research begins. Another major thing I'm doing is trying to find a new job. I currently work as a service banker for a full service bank that's open 7 days a week. We don't close our office until 7pm and I typically work 4 out of 5 nights a week closing. When I get home from work, I'm so tired that I don't do anything but SIT and eat dinner. I eat way to late every night. I didn't get finished with dinner until 8:30 tonight. That's way tooooo late... I don't want to eat after 7 pm and that's kind of hard if I'm still working. The job market is very slim in my area as it is all over the country. I just keep applying for open positions in my field hoping to find better hours! That would be a big difference for me. Not eating after 7 pm!!!

Anyway... i will keep you all posted!!!

Thanks for all your replies. I have cancelled my surgery that was scheduled for April 15th. My goal now, is to find a personal trainer and work with them for a little while, still planning on getting the sleeve done some day soon. Sometime in the next 6 months. I don't want to put it off any later then that as I want to have childrent before I'm 28 and with the recovery time I would be cutting it close. I plan on researching surgeons now. Less expensive surgeons with more sleeves done with better results. I would have to do some convincing with my husband If I were to go to Mexico, but I can see if I can find someone in the states that has good experience for a good price. The research begins. Another major thing I'm doing is trying to find a new job. I currently work as a service banker for a full service bank that's open 7 days a week. We don't close our office until 7pm and I typically work 4 out of 5 nights a week closing. When I get home from work, I'm so tired that I don't do anything but SIT and eat dinner. I eat way to late every night. I didn't get finished with dinner until 8:30 tonight. That's way tooooo late... I don't want to eat after 7 pm and that's kind of hard if I'm still working. The job market is very slim in my area as it is all over the country. I just keep applying for open positions in my field hoping to find better hours! That would be a big difference for me. Not eating after 7 pm!!!

Anyway... i will keep you all posted!!!

I'm really happy you're taking the time you need for yourself. I hope you find a new job that gives you the hours you need while making you happy.

Hi Change4theBetter2010 -

Well just like your screen name says, you WILL make a change for the better this year.

I too cancelled my sleeve surgery last summer in 2009. Now, I am re-scheduled to go to Dr. Aceves in Mexico on April 7th. I cancelled because my mom and my uncle were TOTALLY against the surgery and were offering NO support. It was almost as if they were going to disown me if I went.

You've got to live YOUR life. Your mom can't live it for you. Mom's usually have the best intentions and only want what is best for us. She doesn't want you to regret your decision to have surgery. She doesn't want you to have complications or "waste" your money. But I don't think your mom (and aunt) are really INFORMED on statistics and obesity. Please, do what makes YOU HAPPY, not your mom! The money is YOURS, not your moms. You can spend it how you want. Don't let your mom spend your money on how she thinks you should spend it.

If you are not mentally ready to commit to the surgery, you're doing the right thing by waiting six months. Many health insurance companies require patients to do a 6 month pre-op diet/exercise attempt. I have a friend who lost 90 lbs in 6 months with one of those medically supervised diet programs. If your job has an EAP program, call them and u can usually get some free therapy sessions. Therapy will be good for you right now. You have to be mentally healthy as well. (wanting to please others, dealing with obesity, how to overcome stress, etc.)

I had a personal trainer and she even admitted to me that when it comes to weight loss it's not so much exercise that reduces the weight, it's your calorie consumption. She said it's 80% about what you eat. A trainer will teach you how to properly exercise, so these will be skills you can use for a lifetime. Same with a good nutritionist.

There are some good articles on this website about exercise under the category of VERTICAL SLEEVE SURGERY NEWS. One talks about how in Canada, they've done studies that prove that people who killed themselves in the gym, didn't really lose anymore weight than people who ate fewer calories.

Mexico is simply not an option for some people. LOL. I understand wanting to stay in the states, but the US is not the only country who knows how to perform good surgeries. Do your surgeon research. The cost that you quoted seems average (about 22k). I found two excellent surgeons in my area charging the same amount for a sleeve. However, I have heard that there are some charging only $12 in Texas. I've decided to go to Mexico for $9000 including airfare and a longer hospital stay than in the US.

You are only 24, so this is a big decision for you and go with your heart. You're young but you're pushing 300 lbs. When I was 24, I was 240 lbs at 5'2. I thought I was still sexy and pretty healthy. At 30, I reached 265 and was miserable. That's when the co-morbidities started: hypertension, painful joints, 6 months with no period, hypothyroidism, etc. etc. You are smart to recognize this problem now and actively do something about it. I've done it all: atkins, weight watchers, phentermine, trainers, jenny craig, walking, exercise equipment, supplements....to no avail. Only to regain and never able to lose more than about 20 lbs or so.

Thank GOD you have your HUSBAND's support! That's the most important, unless you live with mom or aunt. You also have the support of your Bro and Sis. Maybe the three of them can help to educate the old schoolers.

A healthy weight will give you greater success at having children and being able to chase after them afterwards. You are definitely on the right path. Life is going to keep throwing us curve balls that have the potential to sabotage our weight loss efforts. Stay strong and come here for support.

So sorry for the LONG post. Thank you for reading. Wishing you much success! BTW, having exercised for 6 months prior to surgery, should u decide to still get it, will improve your results and recovery. Start taking TWO multi-Vitamins now. (Not at same time) This is recommended by surgeons prior to WLS. Also, go to a WLS seminar at a local hospital and try to bring Mom. They give you great information and statistical data.

OK. That's all. HUGS!