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Confession Time



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I am in Miami and will return to Oregon on Tues. late in the evening.

I confess I ate everything and anything I wanted on the cruise and I am sure I must have gained 10 lbs. I am afraid to get on the scale when I get home!

I hope I don't have any trouble taking it back off. I can barely button my pants. I know once I get into my old routine, I will feel better. I am looking forward to that! Letting my food addiction get back out of control was actually not fun.

Oregon,

I hope you had a h--- of a good time, you have been so good this year!! You will settle in soon and get back to business but glad you could enjoy yourself!

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Thank you! I hope I don't go back to letting my sweet tooth get the best of me. I seem to be one of the only person sleeved who still craves sweets all the time, and it's been pretty crazy to let myself have all the dessert I wanted day or night this past week. It might be hard to control when I get home.

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I confess that I have a midterm in class and two papers due tomorrow night and I can't seem to do anything but obsess about my surgery (39 hours and counting!) and click back and forth from this board to OH. :001_unsure:

Somebody needs to smack me upside the head...

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I am happy to report I have already lost 5 of the 9 lbs I gained on my vacation. I am really happy about that. I love the sleeve so much!

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My confession is that I feel like I've spent most of my adult life taking care of sick people, and I feel angry and discouraged when I think about everything that it has cost me. My children have had serious health problems. My husband had a brain tumor and died after 8 years of trips all over the country, 13 specialized surgeries, and proton beam treatments. I closed my private practice as a LMHC to take care of my husband, and now I don't have a job or an office to go back to. So I'm worried about money. I could start over, but I don't want to do mental health counseling anymore. Maybe I have compassion fatigue--but it seems to go deeper than that. I want time to enjoy life and have fun. I'm afraid that the "best years" of my life are behind me, and truthfully, they were so filled with pain, that I want time to live more of the life that I feel like I've missed. I know that I don't "need a man" because I learned to take care of myself and everyone else in the family too. But I don't really want to grow old feeling this alone. I'm afraid that I'll never have sex again...never even hold hands again. AND NOW...I've voluntarily let someone remove 85% of my stomach and I can't even enjoy a meal. I chose this for myself because it was a vote for life and for a better future...but I'm scared that I have made a choice that will steal one more thing from me without really making a positive difference.

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Don't worry. You will find love again and you will be thrilled with your new body and your new life. It just takes awhile to get used to this new life.

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I confess that I am missing solid food and am obsessing about eating and even considered chewing food and spitting it out. I haven't and am still on thin liquids. Sticking to it.

It will get better! I was the same way while I was on liquids. I would have given anything just to have something to CHEW. Sometimes I'd even try to chew my liquids just to go through the motion. :tongue_smilie: Keep it up, though, you're doing great!

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My confession is that I'm more obsessed with food now than I was pre-op. But I think it's maybe a good thing - mostly interested in healthier foods. I cruise food blogs all day and I cannot wait to graduate (some days!) in 2 weeks because I want my kitchen back! I want to be able to make a nice healthy meal for my fiance & me. We are doing a half-share in an organic CSA this year (community-supported agriculture), so we will be up to our ears in fresh, organic produce from mid-May to September or October and I'm going crazy thinking of all the things I'm going to be able to make with all that healthy food! I'm obsessed with the idea of eating organic & whole foods rather than processed junk. My plan is to get to the point where we no longer buy processed foods, or at least as minimally as possible. I find myself reading about baking bread (I used to be huge into baking) and even preserving and canning, which I've never done. My only downfall is that right now we live in a 1 bedroom apartment in the city, and therefore any gardening has to be inside. Although I did start a little container herb garden a couple weeks ago and my basil, parsley, and chives are flourishing! Now I just have to figure out what to do with them! :tongue_smilie: Anyway, sorry for the rambling. I've been thinking about posting this here for awhile now...I feel like most people around me don't understand because my new outlook on food was spurred mostly by my sleeve surgery, with a side of environmental consciousness, brought on by my environmental studies major roommate. :thumbup:Anyway, anyone else experience this?? I hope I'm not alone.

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I just found this thread, so here's mine. :001_cool:

My name is Wendy and I confess that....I crave soda all day, every day, and am concerned that I will never be able to handle carbonation again. I want a tall, ice cold Sprite Zero with ice. That, or a cold, crisp MGD 64.

I also confess that I'm concerned I'll never be able to eat normal again. Not normal like I had been eating, but normal like I should - with the variety, with the increased amount. And, what is that going to do to my body nutritionally?

I'm 32 days out from surgery and down 28.5 lbs. Haven't updated my ticker yet because my numbers have been yo-yoing for the past week. I actually even gained 7 lbs last week and have finally lost that amount. The rollercoaster weight loss/gain/stall again is insane. lol...I SWEAR I'M NOT WEIGHING IN BUT ONCE A WEEK. (well, maybe twice...)

Edited by mswendy

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I confess that if I see the words "not pregnant" one more time on that evil white stick, I'll scream.

I have quit charting, and ready to give up. I know it's only been a few months, but this is emotionally and mentally draining.

I'm trying to learn "Let Go and Let God", but it's very trying and exhausting.

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My mom has been married to my step dad for 28 years (since I was two) he has joined a group that he has sex with different members ans been sneaking around on her for years. She discovered this initally a year ago after contracting an STD from him. He said he stopped and they worked on their relationship and she discovered that (obviously) he is still up to his old nasty tricks. My mom is the best person I know. My friends all joke that they wish she was their mom. I want to just kidnap her and I wish there were a way to make it right for her. She is giving (to a fault) and deserves the best life has to offer, instead she is raising my nephew, taking care of my grandmother, and dealing with this crap. This breaks my heart.

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I'm sorry that your mom is having to walk through something like this. It really hurts to see the ones that we love in pain. My heart is breaking for a family member too. The circumstances are too complicated and sticky to explain in a public thread--but the bottom line is, I am powerless to change their circumstances and I've just felt like crying all day.

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I confess that if I see the words "not pregnant" one more time on that evil white stick, I'll scream.

I have quit charting, and ready to give up. I know it's only been a few months, but this is emotionally and mentally draining.

I'm trying to learn "Let Go and Let God", but it's very trying and exhausting.

I will think good thoughts for you. My wife (ex) got pregnant once she stopped stressing and worrying. And then it just happened.

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I confess that I had one nice big cookie the other night. It was worth it.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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