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Depression After Gastric Sleeve Surgery



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I was sleeved 10/19/11 and although I have known for years prior to surgery that this was the best decision for me, I have had moments since surgery when I wondered, "What in God's name have I done to myself!?"

I suffer from depression and have for years. One of the things that was not mentioned to me was that while in the hospital, I would not be able to take my four different medicines that keep my mood stable and my emotions in check. For three days, I did not take the medications and on the fouth day, I was a wreck. My mood swings were all over the place, I cried, I laughed, I was pi$$ed at the world, lonely, anxious, hopeless, and just generally UNPLEASANT to be around. I tried on day four to crush the meds I desperately needed (only two of them because one is very tiny and the other is time released) and that was a big mistake. Applesauce was my method of delivery and the cold, bitter, and now medicine filled half spoon made me soooo nauseated and a few times I felt like I was just going to loose it. I was told in the hospital that throwing up could be very dangerous so I should do everthing possible not to. I managed to hold it down but the next day, I just swallowed them whole with a Protein shake. Now I am just over two weeks out and as long as there is a little something Protein rich in my stomach, I can take all of my medicines with no problems, even the timed release ones.

With the medicines back on board, I expected to be back to normal. HA! Pre-surgery normal is what I was looking for and, well, I will never be that way again. I am slowly coming to terms with this. As well I should because I had this surgery to change my life so I should not ever expect to be my pre-surgery "normal" self, duh! Having this epiffany has made me re-evaluate myself, my goals, who I am, and what I am about. I am still thinking like the "Fat Girl" or the "Fat Lady", two of my favorite pre-surgery terms for myself. My husband said to me just yesterday that as long as I think of myself in that way, I will remain that way emotionally (the sleeve won't let me be that way physically). Another epiffany: The Fat Girl or Fat Lady and I got divorced at the same time that 85% of my stomach was removed! I need to think of myself as free from her and be HAPPILY Divorced!

Healing, both physiologically and psychologically, takes time. Physically, I feel fine. Psychologically, not so much. I have been obese for the last 11 years and overweight most of my life (I was called Skinny Mini until I was about eight or nine). I have to learn not to think of myself that way any more. It won't be easy, but it is definately something I can do!!

Shae

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Feeling the blues.

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For about a year and a half prior to surgery, I was on Wellbutrin, an antidepressant. My life was miserable and I just couldn't fit off the crying spells. The PCOS caused my hormones to go crazy so that didn't help either.

After my sleeve on 9/13, the dose I was on was an extended release so I couldn't crush it. It took the drs over a week to find a type that could be crushed. By then, I had went through full withdrawls as I tried to recover from this major surgery. It was not fun. If I go back and read my posts in this forum during the time, I can tell I was bitter and not medicated.

After the shock wore off, I decided to go med free. I'm at 9 weeks tomorrow and doing ok. I will not hesitate to go back on the medicaiton if I feel myself headed down that dark road to depression.

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Yesterday at one month out I got depressed but I walked a lot today n feel better. I think it's cuz I threw up a lot yesterday n it was so frustrating. I'm learning still....

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a year after my surgery I was diagnosed with depression. I started taking Zoloft and I saw a difference in 3 weeks! I was having body aches, fatigue, loss of interest in everyday normal things. I had mood swings!!! and a short temper... I started talking to my doctor about it and she had me come in and see her and she gave me a questionaire and I scored an 18... normal is 2 or 3... severe depression is what she said it was... If you feel like you are barely keeping your head above Water like I did, talk to your doctor!!! there is help! :)

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Thanks for posting. I have found that my Bi-Polar has started being affected recently, even though I am 8 months post surgery. I feel like I should be losing more and have been going from bouncing around with a ton of energy to having none and being totally way down. This is all on top of meds that I have been on for years. I first thought it was stress of everything, but now I am worried.

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Great post, I am going to sticky this.

Hi, I'm new here. Pre-revision post lapband removal. It appears to me that you have walked before me in this. I'm nervous about getting approval for sleeve, now that band is out..well...I'm gaining. I had the band in Mexico and all was well until I became ill on every front. My health plan is reviewing my situation. Did you go back to Mex for the revision? I have lost some and don't want to regain all while waiting. How was that for you?

Thank you, LB

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I am 8 days post op and definitely going through the mourning process, I was a comfort eater and I do miss that plus I miss the social aspect of hanging out and eating with friends, definitely will have to find healthy ways to fill the void.

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weight.png

01/16/2012 sleeved by dr aceves in Mexico. starting wt. 245

01/25/2012 230lbs -15lbs

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I am 8 days post op and definitely going through the mourning process, I was a comfort eater and I do miss that plus I miss the social aspect of hanging out and eating with friends, definitely will have to find healthy ways to fill the void.

Shared! And I am now going to see mysurgeon on 1/31 2 mo after 12/5 surgery....I went to museum yesterday and ate at shop there with friend. Forgot my eggs at home so bought wrap tuna. Threw out wrap, ate tuna and salad and sat while friend ate huge salad anddrank etc. But we enjoyed chatting and discussing exhibits and people etc. So no prob first time I took myself out to pasture. Comfort? Still prob but working on it. How? Can't say. Just distracting self when head hunger hits.

Good luck. I'm 43# down and 100something to go.

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I think the one in our family who probably needs to get some therapy is my husband. He was very upset before surgery, even talked about kidnapping me from the hospital parking lot. After surgery, he did pretty well and most of the time is doing OK. But I know he resents the impact my surgery has had on certain things we used to do, like have (maybe too many) adult beverages on the back porch while the sun went down with some kind of munchies. Now he drinks a martini and I have hot tea. He munches on Fritos and French onion dip and I drink my hot tea. Still fun, but not the same thing. He's a big guy so he can put down a lot of food and etc. I know part of the weight I'm hauling around is from having those adult beverages.< /p>

And I'm at four-weeks so I'm just now getting back to things like veggies, which are still a challenge. We ate out a lot and that's not the easiest.

I had some issues with depression after I was diagnosed with sleep apnea a couple of years ago. My body felt so different -- it was a new normal, and it was bizarre having all this energy, but the good part was not nodding off in inconvenient places in the afternoon. I also missed my naps terribly. I equated it with people who have heart bypass surgery and then have all this energy and get depressed. I always thought that was strange, but now I sort of understand it. Your mind and your body have to find a new normal.

I bought several books off Amazon after surgery, and especially like the Eating Well and Before and After.

Carol

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From the LapSF newsletter.

********

Many people can't imagine becoming depressed AFTER losing weight. However, depression can occur after weight loss surgery or when undergoing any time of major lifestyle change. Possible causes of depression after WLS may include:

- Mourning the loss of food for comfort. If food has always been your "friend" or something you depended on when feeling sad, stressed or lonely, saying "goodbye" can be difficult.

- Mourning the loss of pre-operative lifestyle. For example, feeling left out while socializing, participating in holiday rituals, or when dining in restaurants.

- Reactions from others. Relationships with loved ones can change or become strained. Reactions to weight loss may be negative or jealous, or otherwise unsupportive friends/family may resort to "sabotage." Positive reactions or increased attention from others can lead to feelings of discomfort, vulnerability, or resentment.

- Having unrealistic expectations. For example, thinking that everything will get better after surgery or that your emotional eating or other disordered eating habits will simply disappear.

- Hormonal changes. For some women, estrogen is released while fat is burned to make energy. This release of estrogen may cause mood swings.

- Body image discrepancies. After rapid weight loss, you do not recognize yourself or lose a sense of self. You may experience a loss of identity between the inner and outer you.

The postoperative blues typically occur during the first few weeks or months after surgery and subside over time. However, if you find that your symptoms are worsening or are beginning to interfere with your relationships, work, or daily functioning, it is time to seek help from a medical professional.

Id like to say it like this. The lifestyle you lived before this was that of a drug addict it was full of its depressions as well or we wouldnt be in this forum. but as all drug addictions there is relapse periods and if you havent taken the messures to beat these pressures you will give in and when you find yourself resticted your mind goes into depression. lets face it its human to want what we want but as all drugs and yes sugars are a drug. go threw a five day withdraw diet headaches,shakes,moods..same as a heroin addict why simply sugar and its other name carbs were our drug of choice. but this is more than a surgery this was a lifestyle change right. stop with the pitty party and we have all had our moments and look forward to the person you want to be a year from now. when you want carbs have complex carbs..{google it} vs simple carbs..also build on this principle.. surgery = HOPE??? But what good is hope without faith and application? its an excuse thats what it is and our lifes have been full of them. So say it like this....SELF i have done it your way and you have failed me so now i will listen to the fat guy on my computer and put faith and application to my sergery/HOPE and reap the results with new found joy and happyness. look to the past you will be depressed baby. keep your eyes on the future and the suprises of tommarow will amaze you i promise. Your issue is your looking back at a bad habit that needs to be forgotten...

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I'm 5 months out now, and have sort of hit a place in this last week that is unfamiliar.

I don't know if it's depression, or loneliness, or something else.

I live in India, and am doing med school here, but am from the US. My boyfriend was here, as well, and he finished up and went back home a few weeks ago, while I'm still working on my transfer. I was supposed to have been home months ago, but I'm still here.

This past week, I've been trying to go out every night, to avoid feeling lonely or stressing out about the transfer. I've also been letting some bad habits creep back in this past week, and I'm hating myself for them.

1. I've had alcohol 3 times this week. I drink whiskey, which comes at 65 calories per 30 ml. Usually 1 or 2 drinks. However, I had 4 (2 doubles) the other day. Not good. A whole meal worth of empty calories. I didn't actually want to finish the 2nd drink, but it was in my hand, so I did. Since the surgery, I've been good about leaving food on my plate, why didn't I just leave the drink? I didn't feel very good the rest of the evening, so I definitely won't be drinking that much again.

2. Last night, I found myself eating mindlessly twice. The food choices were not ideal. It's not that I ate a lot, or that I went out of my calorie range. It's that I had better options to eat if I wanted to, and I wasn't even hungry! I haven't done this in months!

3. I don't exercise enough, and I know it. I make excuses a lot, saying it will start up properly once I get back home. Once I am able to find some more free time. But somehow, I find the time to go out and have a drink! It's really very frustrating. I know my body enjoys exercise, and wants to go for a walk. I just don't do it.

4. On occasion, I look at my body and it looks like I haven't lost a pound. this happened last night. I felt like I'd ruined all my work the past 5 months, and the cause was lost. This was the worst of all!

I know what I need to do, but I just feel so poopy (for lack of a better word)! I know exercise will help, I just have to find the motivation to do it.

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Puja ...

You can do this. You made the commitment to yourself to have weight loss surgery. You're going to be all right.

As someone who knows lots about depression, you are probably going through a myriad of emotions right now. Your boyfriend left and naturally you're going to feel lonely.

Be really careful about transfer additions because you're particularly vulnerable right now.

Also realize that when you have alcohol, it lowers your serantonin (sp?) the next day, which can be a problem because you want to feel better and you may drink the next day and then you get caught in the endless loop of drinking, less serantonin, drinking again. And all those calories are empty.

You have lots of body adjustments still to make too.

Hang in there Puja.

xoxoxoxCC

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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