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a little bummed out



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Ever since I started the journey towards the sleeve everything has gone very smoothly. No hitches at all. Giving me the reassurance that I am making the best choice for myself.

I chose to only tell three close friends about my surgery. Well that changed last night. One of the girls in my neighbourhood (who I had told about the surgery) accidently let it slip. Then that person ran into another friend of mine and the news spread. All of these people mean well -- they are supportive, But I just didn't want alot of people to know. There is nothing that can be done -- what is done is done. I just think once people know you are having weight loss surgery their eyes become more critical. I am sad the news has spread but I guess I only have myself to blame. If I didn't want others to know my business I guess I shouldn't have told any one.

Sorry just needed to vent.......

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I'm with you on that one. I only told my two best friends, and neither of them live in the city where I live. So far, no one else knows and I'm keeping it that way until after I am done with the surgery and the weight is melting off. Then I can say to the naysayers...see? I made a good decision!

Really, I don't care what they think anyway. It's my life.

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Not yet.

Soon though.

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I understand your concern, I have been selective about who I tell as well. However, they are just concerned about your well being and they probably do not know much about WLS. I was really worried about telling my Mom, but I went armed with the brochures and things I printed out on the web about VSG and educated her. That did two things, it showed her I had done my homework and it showed how determined I am. An hour later, we went back to doing what we were doing and she is at peace with my decision. I also bet you some of your friends are probably going to be jealous because you are stepping up and taking control of your life.

Good luck,

BTW, this is my first post. I have been lurking for a couple of weeks and your post got me off my hands and typing. Thanks.

Bill

Edited by WingRider

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I have only told my family, because I need their support, but I haven't told anyone else. I guess I am afraid of be judged and watched. Maybe, a little fearful, that if I fail, again, then everybody will know I failed. After this is all over with, then I will tell people, but right now, I don't want to. Later, if I can help anybody else, I will tell my story.

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Three of my girlfriends went in and bought me a juicer. They wanted to show their support. I am fortunate to have a great network of friends-- now I feel a little guilty for not including them from the very beginning.

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It is hard to decide if you should tell & who you should tell. It's wonderful that your friends are being supportive. But I wouldn't feel guilty about not telling them from the beginning. I mean WLS is a very personal thing. I don't know about you, but I don't share every personal detail of my life with just anyone. :)

For me, I told my in-laws because they were going to keep the kids for the week DH and I were gone. I told my Dad & step-mom because they were going to help out as well. I didn't tell anyone else because I didn't want to listen to all the BS that could(& probably would) have come...no one else in my family has weight issues & they wouldn't have approved of Mexico.

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I told everyone and was suprised how supportive people were.

But now that I'm in maintenance, I find I don't want everything to be about my having had WLS. So I don't tell people I meet casually and may never meet again. Well, sometimes I still do, but I'm starting not to.

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It might be TMI for some people.

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I just told my mum the other day. She has never had a weight issue - no one in my family has - so I really did not tell her all the information that I have. I am so scared that I will fail again. I am not even telling my husband yet - he just thinks that I plan on having the band removed. He is very supportive with all my decisions, but he is a believer in will power - mind over matter. I want to succeed (hopefully) and then see what happens from there. You know how when you tell people that you plan on stopping to smoke, and then they see you with the same thing. I think that it is the same concept.

Anyway, its my body, my decision and one that I think I definately have thought thru. But honestly - I am still quite embarrassed of the whole concept.

You know what I mean?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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