Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How Are You Going To Meet Your Maker ?



Recommended Posts

This is warped !!!

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/

Here's mine:

After you rudely push your way through a crowded line at the zoo, a large, angry man picks you up and throws you over a guardrail into the bear pit. Being only minutes before feeding time, you are quickly devoured by the hungry beasts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A disgruntled cook at the local bar and grill poisons your food. You suffer in agony for days until the poison eventually kills you.

Hmmmmmmm... death by food! What was I thinking eating that crap at a bar and grill? LOL.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.

Hahaha.....such great friends....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is warped !!!

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/

Here's mine:

After you rudely push your way through a crowded line at the zoo, a large, angry man picks you up and throws you over a guardrail into the bear pit. Being only minutes before feeding time, you are quickly devoured by the hungry beasts.

LOL OMG this is funny! BTW, isn't being quickly devoured better than being slowly savored? lolololol funny funny funny.

Mine said: While walking near a construction site, an open box of nails is dropped from several hundred feet above your head. You are impaled by hundreds of rapidly-falling nails, turning you into a human sieve.

Great, I'm gonna get nailed!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While sunbathing in your yard, a commercial airliner accidentally unloads its waste tank. You are impaled by several spears of frozen urine which fall from 30,000 feet above you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

told.jpg You are blown to smithereens when your fun loving co-worker fills a whoopee cushion with nitroglycerin.

Hm.. I always said that co-worker was a pain in the ass.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While in a batting cage, you're struck in the chest by a baseball. You enter cardiac arrest and die within minutes.

Guess I won't be going into any batting cages in the future!

Mr. Yoda's:

While scarfing down dinner, a large chunk of your meal becomes enlodged in your throat, and you choke to death.

I keep telling him to slow down!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A deranged cook at a Chinese restaurant attacks you violently with a meat cleaver after you complain about your meal.

No more Chinese food for moi!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm scared. Mine is evil it says: my son who is sick of being overdisciplined attacks me in my sleep with a knife and stabs me repeatedly. Charming. My son has ADHD and I feel like I am always all over him. This rings a little too true! Gee thanks for sharing NJChick -- can I sleep at your house tonight?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While crossing what is typically a very quiet street, you're struck by a speeding motorist and are killed instantly

This sucks! The first few were kind of funny, the last couple aren't. Good thing I learned to look both ways.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A tormented street mime beats you to death with an "unimaginary" cane.

That would be an interesting way to go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A disgruntled sandwich shop employee puts a razor blade onto your sandwich. The razor deeply cuts your mouth and tongue numerous times, and you nervously choke to death on your own blood

Well, I knew there was a reason why I dont like sandwiches.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A large icicle falls from above your head, cracking your skull. While unconscious, you bleed to death slowly. I'm glad i live in TEXAS. LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here is mine:

An amputee overhears you as you snicker and make jokes about him. Enraged, he beats you to death with his prosthetic leg.

whats funny is my mom has an amputed leg.... I better not make jokes about it huh. lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After suffering with a severe headache for days, the aneurysm in your brain bursts, killing you instantly.

Yikes.. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×