This is warped !!!

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/

Here's mine:

After you rudely push your way through a crowded line at the zoo, a large, angry man picks you up and throws you over a guardrail into the bear pit. Being only minutes before feeding time, you are quickly devoured by the hungry beasts.

A disgruntled cook at the local bar and grill poisons your food. You suffer in agony for days until the poison eventually kills you.

Hmmmmmmm... death by food! What was I thinking eating that crap at a bar and grill? LOL.

While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.

Hahaha.....such great friends....

This is warped !!!

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/

Here's mine:

After you rudely push your way through a crowded line at the zoo, a large, angry man picks you up and throws you over a guardrail into the bear pit. Being only minutes before feeding time, you are quickly devoured by the hungry beasts.

LOL OMG this is funny! BTW, isn't being quickly devoured better than being slowly savored? lolololol funny funny funny.

Mine said: While walking near a construction site, an open box of nails is dropped from several hundred feet above your head. You are impaled by hundreds of rapidly-falling nails, turning you into a human sieve.

Great, I'm gonna get nailed!

While sunbathing in your yard, a commercial airliner accidentally unloads its waste tank. You are impaled by several spears of frozen urine which fall from 30,000 feet above you.

You are blown to smithereens when your fun loving co-worker fills a whoopee cushion with nitroglycerin.

Hm.. I always said that co-worker was a pain in the ass.

While in a batting cage, you're struck in the chest by a baseball. You enter cardiac arrest and die within minutes.

Guess I won't be going into any batting cages in the future!

Mr. Yoda's:

While scarfing down dinner, a large chunk of your meal becomes enlodged in your throat, and you choke to death.

I keep telling him to slow down!!

A deranged cook at a Chinese restaurant attacks you violently with a meat cleaver after you complain about your meal.

No more Chinese food for moi!

I'm scared. Mine is evil it says: my son who is sick of being overdisciplined attacks me in my sleep with a knife and stabs me repeatedly. Charming. My son has ADHD and I feel like I am always all over him. This rings a little too true! Gee thanks for sharing NJChick -- can I sleep at your house tonight?

While crossing what is typically a very quiet street, you're struck by a speeding motorist and are killed instantly

This sucks! The first few were kind of funny, the last couple aren't. Good thing I learned to look both ways.

A tormented street mime beats you to death with an "unimaginary" cane.

That would be an interesting way to go.

A disgruntled sandwich shop employee puts a razor blade onto your sandwich. The razor deeply cuts your mouth and tongue numerous times, and you nervously choke to death on your own blood

Well, I knew there was a reason why I dont like sandwiches.

A large icicle falls from above your head, cracking your skull. While unconscious, you bleed to death slowly. I'm glad i live in TEXAS. LOL

Here is mine:

An amputee overhears you as you snicker and make jokes about him. Enraged, he beats you to death with his prosthetic leg.

whats funny is my mom has an amputed leg.... I better not make jokes about it huh. lol

After suffering with a severe headache for days, the aneurysm in your brain bursts, killing you instantly.

Yikes..

Your body is cut into pieces when large shards of broken glass fall from a window far above your head.

Hmmm, when I was a baby, a picture window blew in and shattered on me, filling my play pen with large shards of glass. So, I guess this is yet aother case of "been there, done that."