If you chose NOT to tell about your LB, share your story please

[Bandista 7,466]

Well I am getting banded on Friday and for some reason my story is different from everyone who posted you see I did tell my family and friends for some reason every time my mouth open out came the words I am getting wls and my family and friends are so happy for me I have not receive one bad response. I did say to one of my friends oh boy I told a lot of people and now everyone is going to be watching me and maybe that's why I did it usually I hate bring looked at but I think I might have spilled the Beans so I keep my self on the straight and narrow. I don't know I think I am surprise that I am having it done its going to be a change in my life but I am so ready for it and I know I have a very big support system willing to be there if I need them and I found this sight and l also have you guys to ask question and support.

P.S I told my husband no one at his job is to know. When they see me l will just be thinner

Congratulations on Friday -- and on being open. I admire that and am looking at my own issues of why I feel so embarrassed. Obviously because it is so embarrassing being overweight and feeling judged, etc. but maybe theres more and a way to ditch decades of low self esteem behavior. My family, though, beyond the immediate (great spouse and son) are not what you would all a support system.

Keep us posted on your progress -- so happy for you!

[LadyMaggie 145]

I am about 17 months out and NONE of my co-workers know about this. Oddly enough, I have lost more than 50 pounds and no one has mentioned it --- same thing when I eat lunch . . . no one really pays attention. Of course, that makes it easy for me

Also, I did not tell all of my family members. I suppose it is a matter of personal preference.

[dedemarie 9]

Believe me I know how you feel about being embarrassed. I have lived a long time feeling that way. Every time I went into a restaurant I would ask to be seated at a table because I knew I wasn't going to be comfortable in a booth I hated it and that is why I am having the surgery.

I don't want anyone to think that I am saying you should be telling people I only was saying that I did and believe me there are people that don't know and I am not sure If l am going to share . thank you for wishing luck I will post next week on how I am doing :-)

[Irishflower79 183]

I got more Reinforcement why I'm not telling my coworkers today! We were talking about "master chef" and I mentioned the bigger of the three had WLS and a coworker said "well he's still big!" I was shocked and said "well he just had it done give him a minute!" Lol everyone must think you will wake up from surgery thin! >.<

I don't want or need that negative judgement when I become banded!

[Lori123 170]

I told everyone. I work in the surgery dept where my Dr does weight loss surgery. Helps keep me on my toes ! Accountability! My family was very supportive. I'm hoping I can inspire just one person that feels its hopeless to lose weight and get their health back and then turns to the band for help and gives it their all...many people on here have inspired me. :0)

[SillyAuntDi 1,610]

I've told my story on a similar thread. I'm being very careful who I tell. I have fingers left over when I count the friends/family that I've told. I have more anxiety about people judging me and watching me than I do about the actual procedure. I've always had issues with people knowing/judging what I eat...from childhood. I'm scheduled for surgery on September 11. My counselor and I are working on my issues and she and I have agreed that for now, I don't have to tell people. I don't have to lie, either. When asked, if I'm comfortable telling the person the WHOLE story, then I will. If not, then I just have to say, I'm watching what I eat and trying to exercise more. That's not a lie. Funny thing, though...I have absolutely no problem telling complete strangers I'll never see again exactly what I'm doing. The guy who delievered and set up the new treadmill in the house..told him. The lady at the grocery store giving me a rain check for the Protein Powder on sale...told her. The lady at the plus-size clothing store...told her. But, the lady in the office next to me...NO WAY. LOL. I realize my issues are not rational. My counselor says that's a good sign...we'll see. I did slip up while talking to a co-worker yesterday and it just came out of my mouth. He smiled and said "good for you." I have a feeling I'm eventually not going to keep secrets. I may be so damn proud of myself for taking control of my life again that I want to sing it from the rooftops...but for now, I'm just humming.

[LosingAimee 21]

Only told my mother and MIL. Husband knows because he was banded same day, but not the kids.

I didn't tell anyone else (friends, extended family, coworkers).

When asked about my weight loss... I said high Protein, low cals and working out... which is what it is LMAO

I wish I would've done this. I was so excited about my surgery, I told my family and closest friends....and my mother told some relatives... now I feel like everyone is constantly looking to see what I'm eating/losing. It's just added a lot more scrutiny and pressure.

[Bandista 7,466]

I'm being very selective as well. Every one is different -- all families are different, too. I think I know who my cheerleaders will be vs. those who may not like it that I'm taking control of my happiness in such an outward way. I'm a bit shy anyway -- don't like to be seen off at the airport, don't like my picture taken (but that's probably the fat), and don't like public speaking, etc. Uncomfortable with scrutiny...need some privacy to sort through this thing!

[PuraVida37 715]

Thank you for the many posts! Great to hear you stories. OK, so how did you handle your first Thanksgiving? I don't really want to tell my extended family, but if I don't eat a ton like normal, they will know something is up. I never pass up loading my plate with my aunt's awesome cooking. How do you handle it? Surely they will notice?

[BayougirlMrsS 3,939]

Pura... If you want to keep your secret .. tell no one especially female co-workers... Woman are jealous by nature and one day.... some one will say... wow.. Look at Pura, she looks great and that one person you told will say... Well she took the easy way out and had WLS..... Sure as im sitting here it will happen.

So i told people at first... im watching what i eat and exercising... which was the truth.

[LadyMaggie 145]

Thank you for the many posts! Great to hear you stories. OK, so how did you handle your first Thanksgiving? I don't really want to tell my extended family, but if I don't eat a ton like normal, they will know something is up. I never pass up loading my plate with my aunt's awesome cooking. How do you handle it? Surely they will notice?

Here is how I handle the holidays and food . . . . TRUE STORY

My husband and I have a deal that he goes through line first and I put whatever food he is eating.

Then, when he is done eating, we switch plates. No one in my family has picked up on this.

My husband is VERY health and does NOT have weight issues --- he has always had second's

[kah1213 311]

I told 2 people: my dad and 1 friend. I have another friend who suspects I had wls, but she has never asked me outright. I didn't tell any coworkers and honestly no one said anything to me until after I lost 50 lbs. lol. I just say I'm eating less and jogging which is the truth.

[cantpauselife 4]

I've told my story on a similar thread. I'm being very careful who I tell. I have fingers left over when I count the friends/family that I've told. I have more anxiety about people judging me and watching me than I do about the actual procedure. I've always had issues with people knowing/judging what I eat...from childhood. I'm scheduled for surgery on September 11. My counselor and I are working on my issues and she and I have agreed that for now' date=' I don't have to tell people. I don't have to lie, either. When asked, if I'm comfortable telling the person the WHOLE story, then I will. If not, then I just have to say, I'm watching what I eat and trying to exercise more. That's not a lie. Funny thing, though...I have absolutely no problem telling complete strangers I'll never see again exactly what I'm doing. The guy who delievered and set up the new treadmill in the house..told him. The lady at the grocery store giving me a rain check for the Protein powder on sale...told her. The lady at the plus-size clothing store...told her. But, the lady in the office next to me...NO WAY. LOL. I realize my issues are not rational. My counselor says that's a good sign...we'll see. I did slip up while talking to a co-worker yesterday and it just came out of my mouth. He smiled and said "good for you." I have a feeling I'm eventually not going to keep secrets. I may be so damn proud of myself for taking control of my life again that I want to sing it from the rooftops...but for now, I'm just humming.[/quote']

This last bit has just brought tears to my eyes! I'm so happy for you, and I realise that's exactly how I want and need to feel like that - proud of myself for taking control. I'm only in the very early stages of the decision, I've had my first consult with the surgeon and other specialists but I actually took a bit of a break because I had second thoughts - I convinced myself that there was more j could do, I should try again and reassess in another six months. I'm now starting to re-book appointments because I've been feeling anxious and upset. I went to Bali last weekend and I swam once. ONLY because my friends begged me to join them. I was so uncomfortable and it made me so upset. I'm 22 years old and I should be loving life and I'm scared that for every time that I give myself another six months to try a new diet, ill wake up one day and have spent all the happiest and most free years of my life in 'fat jail' where I don't enjoy anything....

I have been silently watching this forum for a few months and this is my first post. I am so thankful for it and for all of you who share your stories and help me work out how I'm feeling.

In response to this thread: one of my biggest concerns/ fears is who to tell. My immediate family already know about my plans (my mum has been banded many years ago) but other than that I think I want to keep it entirely private. Being quite young, my friends and people I associate with aren't mature enough to understand that this is for me and my health. And as a lot of you have said, I don't want (or need) any kind of that negativity in my life when going through something this big!

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

Hello folks. Here I am again with another question!!

If you chose not to tell people at work or friends about your LB' date=' how did you keep it secret? Did you change your mind and eventually tell? What kind of comments/questions did they ask? How did you handle it?

I am not planning to tell my coworkers. I know they will ask questions as they are super gossipy.

Thanks again for open and honest responses![/quote']

I only told some people. If I am asked I say I watch what I eat and exercise. Which is true. That is not a lie. Most people are so involved in themselves that they don't notice your food on a plate or how little you eat.

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

I have chosen to only tell a few chosen people. I am very happy with my decision. It has been 2 years and to be honest' date=' I wish I told less people however each person knows it is a secret.[/quote']

Me too about telling fewer people.