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How do you deal with friends who aren't supportive?



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If it were me, I'd stop talking to her about your weight and surgery entirely. Change the subject. Just because she's a friend doesn't mean she has to give approval to everything you do, nor are you beholden to her opinions or need her approval...

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But that said, I went to my best friend before surgery and told her how important she was to me and that I was afraid she'd be unhappy or pull away after I had it... Ended up convincing her to do it too and now she's at goal and I'm on my way!!

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I've found that people will fall into one of two groups: Those that get it and are supportive, and those that will never get it and are unsupportive. I was shocked at who of my friends ended up in which group. I mostly guessed wrong! And I consider unsupportive to include those that say ugly things without thinking. This is a hard enough process on its own, let alone adding ANY negativity onto it from others. I haven't had anyone so unsupportive that I've had to cut them out of my life, but there are those that say stupid unthinking things where I don't share my life with them very much. My favorite is those who tell me to not lose any more weight because my face is starting to look bad. Hellooo! I'm turning 50 this year. My face would look bad anyway! LOL (Yes, I can laugh about it.)

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Haha DetChatt that's funny!! I am anxious to see after the surgery who gives me a hard time and who supports me. I have a lot of aquaintances who see me very irregularly, some of who are opinionated. It will be interesting!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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