Who was the toughest person you decided to tell about getting the band?

[aviva1979 375]

I started out just telling my husband, sister and mom. Slowly I told my closest friends and a few people I work with. My father was the convo I was reluctant about - weight (mine, specifically) has always been the minefield for us. I was going to wait until after I had the surgery but my mother really wanted me to tell him before going under anesthesia and after I got approved I relented.

The conversation went fine. He was totally supportive - if a little confused or unsure of himself - he clearly didn't want to say the wrong thing and upset me.

We are still walking the tightrope. It really bothers me that in my heart of hearts while I know he loves me no matter what, he will find it easier to relate to me when I'm no longer obese. But I know he wants me to be happy and healthy and it feels good to have finally told him.

Who was your most difficult "tell"?

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

myself......because if i did end up getting the surgery, i knew i would have to change everything from what i ate, what i did and didnt do to my attitude....telling myself that my fat lazy woe is me and blame everyone but myself life as i knew it was coming to an end......i am sure that is not the answer you wanted, but it was the one i wanted to give as its true..

[aviva1979 375]

myself......because if i did end up getting the surgery' date=' i knew i would have to change everything from what i ate, what i did and didnt do to my attitude....telling myself that my fat lazy woe is me and blame everyone but myself life as i knew it was coming to an end......i am sure that is not the answer you wanted, but it was the one i wanted to give as its true..[/quote']

Speaking your truth is always the right answer.

[michpell39 399]

My mother inlaw , she is a gossip and I only told her because I needed my son taken care of when I go for surgery as my husband will be with me, she is very critical of everyone's weight issues but her own and is a big saboteurs of people who are trying to lose weight

[winkie80 147]

My entire immediate family until I had approval. My husband best friend and a few co-workers knew. A few months into my medically monitored weight loss I was sitting around with my family and I brought up a family friend who recently had weight loss surgery and how well she is doing. I got hit from all around with "I would never do that to myself" and "it is taking the easy way out". It confirmed to me it was right to not tell them yet. I told them on mother's day weekend and to my amazement they were all very supportive. My father even told me how proud he was of me. I was amazed!

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

Not one person was negative. My MIL doesn't believe in going under the knife at all but she was supportive and still is. When I told her I want a Tummy Tuck and a face lift, that she was against. We'll see, just need money for those.

[mrsto 2,925]

My mother inlaw , she is a gossip and I only told her because I needed my son taken care of when I go for surgery as my husband will be with me, she is very critical of everyone's weight issues but her own and is a big saboteurs of people who are trying to lose weight

Your mother in law sounds like a real pain in the ass.....

[Maddysgram 6,159]

My husband. After getting up the nerve, he said "whatever you want to do".

After talking to his office wife, he did try talking me out of it, but they didn't do the research I did.

PS. Office wife wanted it, but negative internet crap, stopped her.

Wait until she see's me....

[michpell39 399]

Mrsinto , she really is

[Nurse_B 270]

I just recently made the decision to do the lap band surgery. I will be having my first appointment with my surgeon on July 3rd. I have always been overweight, and my parents have always supported my efforts in losing weight. Both of my parents have been successful with losing weight by diet and exercise, and they found a program that really works for them. I have tried a million things, but nothing seemed to work. I was nervous to tell them because I thought they would tell me I was taking the easy way out, and to keep trying to lose weight by going to the gym, joining weight watchers etc. I was pleasantly surprised when I told them I had made a decision regarding surgery, they both looked at me and said "Do it!". It felt like a HUGE burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I have since told close friends (one of which wasn't as supportive as I would have hoped), my sister, and a few close co-workers. I have always been someone who appreciates the opinions of those close to me, but when I made the decision to get the surgery, I also made the decision that no matter how others felt I knew this was right for me. Having the support of others only furthered my feelings that this was the right choice.

[mrsto 2,925]

I just recently made the decision to do the lap band surgery. I will be having my first appointment with my surgeon on July 3rd. I have always been overweight, and my parents have always supported my efforts in losing weight. Both of my parents have been successful with losing weight by diet and exercise, and they found a program that really works for them. I have tried a million things, but nothing seemed to work. I was nervous to tell them because I thought they would tell me I was taking the easy way out, and to keep trying to lose weight by going to the gym, joining weight watchers etc. I was pleasantly surprised when I told them I had made a decision regarding surgery, they both looked at me and said "Do it!". It felt like a HUGE burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I have since told close friends (one of which wasn't as supportive as I would have hoped), my sister, and a few close co-workers. I have always been someone who appreciates the opinions of those close to me, but when I made the decision to get the surgery, I also made the decision that no matter how others felt I knew this was right for me. Having the support of others only furthered my feelings that this was the right choice.

I'm so glad that your parents responded with full support. I know how good that must have felt!! And you sound like you've totally got your head on straight. There will be people who have strong judgements about WLS, but in my experience, it comes from ignorance and a lack of understanding ALL of the issues surrounding obesity. Stay strong, girl......you'll do GREAT!

[missybear 86]

My mum was the most difficult. She was probably 30-40 kilos heavier than I was at the time I decided to get surgery. She is a nurse and was critical at some of the people she had worked with who had it done, who didn't change their lifestyles. I think most of it boiled down to her not taking her weight seriously and the fear that dad and my brothers would encourage her towards doing something as well.

Fortunately dad and my brothers were very supportive and when I asked them to not direct any comments towards mum they didn't. Even with mum as a nurse, my dad is the best support when it comes to hospitals and surgery.

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Turns out my older daughter was the toughest. She was and still is totally against the surgery. Even refused to read about it or come with me to seminars. We just don't discuss it at all.

[aviva1979 375]

Turns out my older daughter was the toughest. She was and still is totally against the surgery. Even refused to read about it or come with me to seminars. We just don't discuss it at all.

Wow, that's tough. Well - whether she agrees or not the fact is you have done so amazing (I love your posts) and are so much healthier that you will be around a lottttttttt longer to love her

[solson8201 98]

I was nervous about telling my husband about it at first, but I asked him to come to the orientation meeting with me and he was good after that. I just wanted him to be able to ask the questions he wanted answers to right then because he always thinks of questions I don't have :-) After, he told me I should do it if it was what I wanted to do, he wasn't going to make the decision for me. He has been my biggest supporter through the whole process. At work, we have someone who has had gastric bypass so that's a conversation we are used to. I told my close friends at work as i was going through the approval process and they were all very supportive. After that, I didn't tell anyone else in my family until insurance approved it. Surprisingly the overwhelming response from all was that they were proud of and excited for me. Now, a week and a half post surgery, I tell people as it comes up. I've found it's easier to tell the truth (when I'm drinking a shake for lunch at a birthday party rather than pizza) than to lie. I'm so excited about it that I think even if my friends disagree with it they don't show it :-)