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I have been over weight my whole life and I'm tried,.I'm really to be better ready to not have food take over me ! I'm just very scared my surgery is in Aug and its all i can think about ........what if i fail ?

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Angie, I don't know how to tell you this, but getting the band is the single best thing that I've ever done in my entire life. If I had EVER known how easy this would be I would have done it years ago. It's not perfect, and it's not effortless, but it's not hard. And contrary to popular opinion here, I think it really does do it for you. I'm probably the most rebellious person on the planet, and it's working, even for me. You can't know in advance if it's gonna work for you, all you can do is try. Good luck!

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And for what it's worth, I've had a pack of Reese's Peanut Butter cups nearly every day for the last 3 months. Good idea? No. Do I recommend it? No. An I losing weight anyway? YES!

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"what if i fail ?"

What if you succeed?

"Sometimes to get where you want to go, you have to do what you are afraid to do. You must be brave and push forward. Miracles occur when you give as much attention and energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.".....Unknown Forum member.

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You're the only person who's going to determine your success.

With that fact in mind, do you allow it to be liberating or scary? :)

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I was also TERRIFIED of failure. I really was!

And frankly, I still am!!

BUT, every day I wake up and tell myself that "today will be awesome" and remind myself how hard i've come

Being down 60lbs is the best feeling i've ever had :)

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Failing at losing weight was what ALL of us were good at. So of course when we go into this, we almost expect to fail because that's all we've ever known.

I psyched myself into believing that failure wasn't an option. That's why, unlike most banders, I told everyone about my upcoming surgery. Because I acted like, from the very first day, that it was going to be a roaring success, and even though I spent a lot of time having to convince myself most of all, I would rather spend my energy doing that than succumb to the fear of failure.

I have talked to and made friends with SO many people on this site who all started out thinking they might fail, and along the way, resolving that they wouldn't. That's all it took.

Tell yourself you will not fail. Start telling yourself from now. And when we see you in a year, you will have succeeded.

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I have been over weight my whole life and I'm tried,.I'm really to be better ready to not have food take over me ! I'm just very scared my surgery is in Aug and its all i can think about ........what if i fail ?

I don't have much insight as my surgery is still on Friday but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have been thinking the same thing.

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I find out my surgery date tomorrow and I am not going to lie... there is a part of me that is scared to death, but I know that fear is just a feeling. I can choose how I want to feel! And today I CHOOSE to not be afraid! I am a woman of God so I put my faith in Him for this! He has made a way for me to even be able to do this and i know He will get me through it. I just wanted you to know your not alone! Take your thoughts captive and CHOOSE to succeed!!

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what if i fail ?

There is a really good way to not fail, don't try. If you are happy being fat, if the decreased quality of life and shortened life span aren't a problem for you, then don't get banded. Thing is, you wouldn't be on this forum posting if that were the case.

So the question you really should be asking is not "What if I fail", but what if I do nothing.

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There are many emotions approaching surgery. Fear of the surgery, fear of failure and the strongest fear is, our emotional attachment to food and the eventual loss of our security blanket.

The majority of failures in any WLS is the latter. Make darn sure you're ready to accept the fact you will not be successful if you don't deal with this demon.

tmf

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I had the same concerns, but I knew I needed help. I took a leap of faith, had the surgery and am quite happy that I did. I think we're all afraid of failing at some point. Best wishes to you! :)

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Ask yourself this: What if you don't have the surgery? Are you like I was that no matter what you did you keep gaining? Even if you maintain your present weight, are you happy? Do you like how you look and feel? What if you don't fail? Are you willing to do almost anything to lose some weight? Does food really make you feel better?

WLS may be right for you or it may not, only you can decide. At the very least if you're not happy or have problems with the band, you can have it removed unlike other weight loss surgeries. I know when you first go to find out about Lap-Band surgery, you're presented with a bunch of you can't eat this anymore, you have to do this, etc. and it sounds very daunting and difficult, but I have found that it's not! Just having the surgery and knowing I'm doing things that are better for me, has lifted a great weight off of my shoulders. Not many people know I have a band and they never will. It takes the same motivation and "want power" (as someone on here calls it) as it does without surgery, but somehow there are times when it is a little easier and other times when it is not. With Lap-Band there are so many more tools at your disposal, including this forum.

Losing weight has always been extremely difficult for me (my metabolism is not the greatest) so I am not the fastest at it, but I'm in it for the long haul. Before surgery, I couldn't stop gaining weight, no matter what I tried and I would have been excited to lose 10 lbs (which I was finding very difficult), but now since starting this process I have lost 50 lbs! Even if I don't lose anymore (that is not my plan), I am in a much better place than I was before. My journey has not been easy since I have had some complications (unrelated to the Lap-Band) along the way, including being very restricted on my exercise (scheduled for tendon repair in 7 days with an extended recovery of no walking, etc.), but I'm still losing.

In the beginning I wasn't sure WLS surgery was for me either and because of my doubts, I stalled a little by not trying to alter my eating or exercise habits during my 4 month waiting period. I could of had my surgery a little sooner than I did. One of my big excuses was the holidays were coming and who wants WLS at Thanksgiving and Christmas time? Now I wish I had gotten it done sooner. The tools are out there if you want them. It's up to you to determine which ones will help you and when is the right time. Overweight or not, you are still the same person. Being fat does not make you less than, just like being thin does not make you better than someone, but it does make life easier. Believe me I know I went from being a size 24W to a size 6 (sometimes) 4 and back again. That's right - I lost 165 lbs and gained almost all of it back before Lap-Band. I will never be a size 6 or even an 8 again, but I don't like being almost 300 lbs either (and I'm short!). Having the band is helping me to make life altering permanent changes. You're only a failure when you stop trying. Best of luck to you.

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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