New to the site but banded 2 years

Wish I would have discovered this site 2 years ago! March 21 will be 2 years for my band. I was 10 pounds from my goal weight November 2011- 7 months after surgery and then I think I hit a psychological wall of fear. The initial weight seem to come off without much effort. Great yes but not. Had many compliments then started hearing you are not looking healthy, you are getting to thin to having my first bad experience with an overfill. The overfill was a horrible experience and I thought it would get better but waited 2 weeks to decide something is wrong. Two things happened- they removed all the Fluid and I was afraid to eat solids for fear of becoming stuck or in unbearable pain and not even able to keep down liquids. So where am I know? 15 pounds from pre-surgery weight. Still down 50 pounds from approval weight which is great but disappointed in myself for the failure. The one thing that they stressed is that the band is a tool not a cure. Have to say with the initial success the band was the cure!

I am trying to get back on track but having a hard time. Not sure if it is fear failure or guilt. Guilt from those supported and made the band possible and fear of disappointing them again or Guilt from those that say how hard they a trying to loss weight, exercising and dieting but not losing. I know the band is not the easy way out or the cure but still feel guilty. I know- big head games.

I am hoping I am not the only one to face these issues but I do know I have the tendency to be the odd ball in a group (in a funny light hearted way). Has anyone else faced similar situations? If so what was your break through moment? I am not creative with meals and am a definite grab and run type of eater and many times miss meals because I get so caught up in my job that I lose track of time. It takes a lot of commitment but having a hard time finding that spark.

If nothing else it feels good getting this out especially with others my know what I am dealing with. Prior to the band I was one of those that said how could a person not be thankful for weight loss surgery just to through it all away by gain the weight back! Eat my words now.

So thank you for the opportunity to release this frustration.

Shoffman1013