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Stressed and medicating with chocolate? :(



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So, I've been away from this site for about 3 weeks or so. I went through a couple of stressful events that have sent me back to my old eating habits and I'm so frustrated with myself. I have been great at losing the weight and was meticulous about everything for 3 months straight. Then, as some of you know, a fire destroyed my bakery business and I've been dealing with the emotions and stress of that. Days sitting at home, on the computer and the phone trying to deal with insurance, customers that I had to cancel etc. It's been a mess. In this mess, we also had to find a new home, as ours had sold. Along with both of my kids getting sick and seeing Dr.s constantly, I've turned back to my old friend, sweets. I haven't indulged in fried foods or sodas or calorie filled drinks...it's been mostly Cookies, chocolates and cake. :( My #1 weakness! Perhaps I was feeling depressed about the loss of my income, and perhaps I still am. I was consistently losing weight up until this happened. I lost 7lbs in the week following the fire, mainly due to running around stressed out of my mind, sick to my stomach. Then the week after is when I started filling my mouth full of sweets, gradually increasing my consumption daily. I gained back 5lbs. I decided yesterday that this was enough and the food wasn't going to help me get through this difficult time. I started back up with my high Protein, low carb, 1 cup per meal "diet" so to speak yesterday. So far so good, BUT I'm feeling the sugar withdrawal and getting headaches. I'm utilizing every ounce of will power in me to not dip into the jar of Peanut Butter with a Hershey bar! I wish I never fell off the wagon because it is so hard to jump back on. I've been telling myself everyday for the last two weeks that tomorrow is the day...well, I'm here and trying to get back on track. I hate that this happened to me. I hate that stress does this to me. I have lost over 50lbs in 3 months, was feeling fabulous and now, even though I haven't gained, I'm feeling worthless again. I hope this passes quickly. I've been having pains in my stomach from eating unhealthy, overeating. This is how I know that I need to quit it. I'm not willing to hurt my body. I have my next appointment with my surgeon on Monday, I have mixed feelings about getting a fill. I don't think I need one, or do I? I think I would have been fine and not needed one if none of this ever happened. It hasn't been long enough for me to learn to de-stress in healthier ways. I wish I could, but maybe it's depression, I don't know. I don't feel like doing anything :(

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Why are you being so hard on yourself? In a short period of time you have had more crap happen than most people could handle! You recognized what you did and are putting yourself back on track! Unfortunately, emotional eating can't be fixed with the band! Did you get hungry between meals prior to the fire? When I have slipped of the wagon I go back to liquids for a day then mushies for a day or two. This seems to make my band feel tighter again, or at least the way it did before I indulged. Life is not easy for you right now but try not to make it worse by sabotaging yourself with food. Its a temporary feeling that leads to permanant consequences! Feeling worse about yourself is only going to make it harder for you to put things back together. Strong mind, strong body! You need them both right now! You and your family will be in my prayers!

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Sending positive thoughts and energy your way! I am sorry this has happened to you and your family. :(

Be kind to yourself.

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life happens and it seems to always be something....in the past, i turned to high fat/high calorie foods to soothe me..they didnt talk back and of course i gained massive weight because i took in more calories than i burned off...so now i learned food is not gonna make me feel better even though it would briefly..when stressed, take a walk, take a bath, call someone, read or blog...i feel for you....every time something crappy happens, i think of a huge bag of lays bbq chips..just not worth it....

hang in there

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I would say get the temptation out of your house. Stress certainly sucks and you have gone through massive amounts in a short time but can you bake some of your customers orders in your own kitchen to take up your time. It would surely help you feel useful again. Loss of anything is something most people dont do well with. I hope you get through this hell you are going through and I wish you luck in everything.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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