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I need a moment to vent



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So I have been living with the band for a week now and last night I was in tears. I feel so frustrated and discouraged! My surgeon was good at performing surgery but I don't feel like he prepared me at all for this. Almost anything I've learned about life with lap band has been through this website. Yes he shared the facts with me but that's about it. I keep hearing people say this is a tool to weight loss.. Well what's the point in having a tool that you don't know how to use properly. Everyone here says they were on Clear Liquids for a week post op, my doctor discharged me and said start stage 4. What's stage 4 you ask? Well I had go go search his website when I got home to find out. Maybe it's my fault maybe I should be asking more questions but sometimes it's so overwhelming idk what questions to ask. I just feel like he should know what questions need to be answered seeings this is what he does for a living. Maybe I'm over reacting but I feel so upset and how do I explain my feelings to him?

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I agree with you...

Many doctors dont explain this new eatting properly...

My NUT did awsome in getting me ready....the doctor talked lots...but I dont believe he explained it 100 %

STill best thing I have ever done and if you learn the rules....you will do it !!!

Good luck hun....were here for you

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I found out after my surgery from my NUT that they forgot to give me my eating manual on what to do, it would have been nice to have before my surgery, but I had decent instructions on how to prepare (eat) for surgery, but not much for after. See if your office has a manual that they may have forgotten to give you? My NUT emailed it to me.

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You need to complain to the office manager at least. Hang in there and ask all your question here at least we have all been doing it and probably can give your better imformation. So sorry your doctor didn't help you more.

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I used the mandatory weight reduction seminar to ask most questions to the surgeon. But my dietitian has been most helpful in answering all questions and I see her once a month since my Aug 6 band day. She travels to my city 1 hour away to hold a monthly weight class. She has been extremely helpful.

Check with your doctor to see if he schedules Free weight class meetings. There are usually 12-15 people who show up monthly and discuss any topic. Our dietitian gets free samples of low cal/carb Snacks sent to her and she shares the information and Snacks with all of us.

Best wishes

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So I have been living with the band for a week now and last night I was in tears. I feel so frustrated and discouraged! My surgeon was good at performing surgery but I don't feel like he prepared me at all for this. Almost anything I've learned about life with lap band has been through this website. Yes he shared the facts with me but that's about it. I keep hearing people say this is a tool to weight loss.. Well what's the point in having a tool that you don't know how to use properly. Everyone here says they were on clear liquids for a week post op, my doctor discharged me and said start stage 4. What's stage 4 you ask? Well I had go go search his website when I got home to find out. Maybe it's my fault maybe I should be asking more questions but sometimes it's so overwhelming idk what questions to ask. I just feel like he should know what questions need to be answered seeings this is what he does for a living. Maybe I'm over reacting but I feel so upset and how do I explain my feelings to him?

don't you worry one bit about how your are feeling. It is so normal. I too, did not understand how and what to eat, even with a handout from the doctor's office, and I met with the nutritionist at my first follow up after surgery (I'm a month post-op) and I cried because I was so afraid to put anything in my mouth. Get info from the NUT, read the posts and threads on this site...it has been a godsend for me...and I promise, you will start to eat, find out you can eat just fine as long as you take it slow...and the fear will subside. Congrats on your decision to get your life back and wishing you all the best on this journey.

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I had many questions right after surgery also...especially those gas pains under my rib cage and eventually in my shoulder....among other things...

I simply called the office, and any one of the girls there was happy to answer my questions....they do this everyday.....

Call you Dr.'s office with anything, and don't panic...I'm sure someone will be happy to answer your questions....

(if not, they have no business being in healthcare)

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I think a lot of us feel overwhelmed. I know I got home and had questions, too. Honestly, I didn't know if I'd forgotten or just never been told some information, but either way I felt very confused about a lot.

So, I called my surgeon's office with a list I'd written out before dialing. Maybe you can do the same?

Best wishes, and in the meantime, we'll help fill in the blanks here whenever we can.

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I absolutely agree with u and I too struggled quite a bit w my emotions and facing the true addiction I had w food. I'm only on soft foods I'm 3 weeks out from surgery and at my phase change I was totally disappointed by the realization of only getting 1 meal back a day as appose to 3. I felt duped... And then realized a). I can't even eat more than one meal of actually food right now and B). Trying to assume what the next food allowed is is what got me into this issue w food. Ill be the first to admit that now I see I have an unhealthy emotional attachment t to food, and together my band and myself are dealing with it.

I left the dr office on my phase change mad that they hasn't prepared me for what the stages of healing are.. Mad at myself for not realizing to ask... And really mad that this mental game was all about food I'm not even hungry for and forgetting that in 2 weeks I had lost 20 pounds!

I'm only 3 days out from that phase change and those feelings and I've realized I don't need to know the next phase.. When it comes it comes (march 5). What is more important are the habits I form now at meal time and listening to my body when I eat. As a person who is overweight and obvious addicted to food I can say I'm finally changing my thoughts and habits and laying the good ground work for the next 60 years with my Lapband and maybe that it took a phase change melt down to make me see it

Now that I've said all that the bottom line of it was I feel you Im here with you we are all in this together for the same reasons and having support will help us have strength.

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Thank you for your insight! You are awesome!!!

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were here for you but you need to let ur doc know what ur feeling bc he cant help u if u dont feel comfortable with him maybe ask his PA or his nurse u r a brave person because u made a step to change ur life and that was hard enough all u have to do is learn how eat with the band and to prepare u its never easy to start a new path but u already did all u have do is follow it through :) best of luck and success keep us posted

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    • Doughgurl

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      1. Phil Penn

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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