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Did you get your sex drive back?



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Being overweight I seriously lack any interest in having sex. I am married and feel guilty about this. I have been banded for two weeks and am looking forward to losing weight for so many reason. But so hoping my sex drive returns! Has this been an issue for your too??

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Lots of sex after an 80 pound loss. It will improve!

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I have a wonderful husband whom I adore. I love to hold his hand, or lay my head on his shoulder, or have him give me a backrub. But the moment he wants to take it further, I just can't do it. I feel so ugly and sex is the last thing I want to do when my big belly gets in the way. I was joking around with my husband earlier today that he better watch out when I lose 100 pounds. He liked that statement. I fully plan to deliver on my promise, and if I don't have a sex drive at that point, I will get some hormones. I'm too young to only have sex 5-6 times a year. That is not good for a marriage. It is a good thing I have a wonderful husband whom I know will never look elsewhere. Jenny, I honestly do think that when we feel attractive again, things will get better. So tell your husband you are committed to making that happen too. He'll be happy.

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I feel the same way Jenny. I've only been banded a week but have high hopes. I'm confident I will want to show off my thin naked body often :) I've only got about 90 lbs to go!! Ha ha

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Cindy2013 you summed up exactly how I feel. I have a wonderful husband who is so understanding. But I feel go guilty about not being more sexual with him. I can't remember the last time we had sex. Maybe in November?? We do snuggle and are affectionate, but that is usually as far as it goes. I have told him too that this will change and he is excited about it. I am so lucky to have this man! I can't wait for this to improve!

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I'm three weeks out and have only lost about 20 pounds so far but I have to say that it has ALREADY made a difference for me!! I already feel better about myself and can tell that my tummy has shrunk already as well. Needless to say, my husband is enjoying this new confidence as well!!!! ;) So, I think the answer to your question is definitely YES!! Anxious to see what a difference the next 20 pounds makes! Good luck to you!

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Me n my hubby have sex about 2-3 Times a week but it's been like this even before surgery. Maybe it has to do with age. I really got a sex drive at about 30 n am now 37. But before that I don't remember wanting it as much. Either way when he wants it n I don't I still let him have the goods so he's not deprived...he's 41 now.

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Hormones play a 50% role in this, the other is mental. Due to my weight I have cysts on my ovaries that grow and choke off the hormone production, then they go down and normalize. They are non-cancerous so the doctor's will not remove them until they are softball size. My weight plays a huge factor in their existence, so weight loss is the ultimate goal for me. I go months without wanting my husband to even touch me, but I keep this private from him as to not hurt his ego or feelings. I usually just "go along for the ride" to keep him happy, but I really could care less. When my hormone levels are fine I initiate more and I want it all the time. It is a crazy roller coaster, but I hear that the more weight we lose the more the hormones even out.

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I am 100 lbs. overweight (getting banded on 3/4) and have now and have always had a very high libido. Right now working full time, two kids, etc, we are at about 3-4 times a week....I joked with my husband to "watch out" when I lose the weight I am going to be unbearable in a good way ;)

I too went through a phase where I felt too fat and ugly for sex and after about a year, I saw a therapist who helped me seperate my negative feelings with sex. YES...I am overweight....YES...I need to lose weight...YES...I will look and feel better when the weight is gone.......BUT YES....my husband still wants to have sex with me and the connection is super important so just GO FOR IT!

Good luck =)

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I lost 50lbs the first three months and then my ex-wife asked for a divorce.... In short, Sex drive comes back LOL.

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Remember ladies, we love you, our partners, and no matter what, we want YOU. No matter how you feel you look. Overweight, underweight, sick, healthy. We WANT you! We DESIRE you!

If we could give you anything in the world, it would be the gift of seeing you through our eyes just for one day, so you could see how special you are to us.

Overweight or not, make love (sex) to your partner. He needs it.

After all, whats 2-3 minutes out of your evening anyway? ;-)

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Remember ladies, we love you, our partners, and no matter what, we want YOU. No matter how you feel you look. Overweight, underweight, sick, healthy. We WANT you! We DESIRE you!

If we could give you anything in the world, it would be the gift of seeing you through our eyes just for one day, so you could see how special you are to us.

Overweight or not, make love (sex) to your partner. He needs it.

After all, whats 2-3 minutes out of your evening anyway? ;-)

Could you please post this daily for us ladies?? Or something similar? :)

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Remember ladies' date=' we love you, our partners, and no matter what, we want YOU. No matter how you feel you look. Overweight, underweight, sick, healthy. We WANT you! We DESIRE you!

If we could give you anything in the world, it would be the gift of seeing you through our eyes just for one day, so you could see how special you are to us.

Overweight or not, make love (sex) to your partner. He needs it.

After all, whats 2-3 minutes out of your evening anyway? ;-)[/quote']

AMEN!!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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