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To Baby or Not to Baby????



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I am currently 5 months out of surgery exactly as of today! My husband and I got married Nov 16th of this year and the hot topic of having a baby has been on the table.

I need some thoughts.

I have only lost 30 lbs and have been plateaued for about 2 1/2 months.... my dieting has been rough. I wanted to get down 90 lbs in my first year so I am way behind. I also have an appt on Thursday to check on my fills.

I know the Surgeons say to wait at least a year before getting pregnant but we just really feel ready.

I am just scared that if we do this then my hard work a d struggles with be for nothing.

I am open to any and all comments at this point. My hear says yes but my brain says tread softly!

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I spent many years teaching child birth classes and many lapband patients and it is most doctors reccomendations to wait a year. You will have to get a complete unfill if you have any in order to get proper nutrition and incase you have mornng sickness. I would wait the year and try to at least get down another 60lbs before I would try to conceive and besides it is much harder to get pregnant when you have extra weight.

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I agree with both ladies...I'd wait the year.

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Obviously I do not know you nor is this anyone's decision but your own... however from the outside looking in.... if my Dr told me to wait... I would wait. Not to mention you will be that much farther along in your journey which will lend itself to a healthier pregnancy.

And there is the point of enjoying your life as a newlywed... you will NEVER get that back once you become parents... they call it the honeymoon period for a reason!

Best wishes!

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My doc suggests we wait 18 months, and we've been trying for 17 years! So, needless to say, it's hard to just "not try" after losing 85lbs. Ugh. My goal is to be at 100 total lbs lost by my 18 month bandiversary and then we are going to start trying again. That will put me well under 200 and (hopefully) no chance of getting above 200 again! That is my worst fear... You need to be the best you that you can be for your baby and yourself. You want to be healthy, so that there are little to no complications with delivery/baby. I would wait... Not sure of your age, but I'm 33 and no where near too old. =)

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I say wait and this is coming from a woman with the worst case of baby fever ever and I was banded 12/20 (got a long way to go). Not only will you be well into your journey and healthier but also have practiced the will power to eat right during the pregnancy and not gain unnecessary weight.

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I hate to hear it but I know its right... its just very tough.

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I just had a baby...I'm 37. I was banded in 2004 and lost 100 lbs, maintained an 80 lb weight loss all these years despite my band having broken/malfunctioned 3 times. If I had a baby when I was a few months into my band, I don't think I would have had the success I did. But my band broke during the pregnancy and I ballooned up, and having the extra weight on me caused a lot of problems.

Because my band broke, I had gained a total of 70 lbs in the pregnancy. Mentally I was devastated. It took a while for me to not feel like a 300 lb woman when I was at 190. Then to have the scale going up and up and up ... I felt trapped in fat again,and it affected everything in my life, including caring for this baby. I didn't have the stamina for her demands, I just got over being very sick because I was drained. My back would constantly spasm and I couldn't even pick her up or carry her when home alone. All because of extra weight.

I just really want to impart on you how non-romantic the first few months are. It literally sucks. I was bawling my eyes out thinking I made a huge mistake having a baby and feeling trapped, hormonal, etc. It took a massive physical toll on me. I made it through, and now I'm going to get my body back. I want another baby (can you believe it after all the crap I just said?) but I won't until I've lost weight again and stabilized. I can't go through that all again!!!

That being said, the baby is soooooo worth it :) LOVE my little girl.

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P.S. I don't know about you, but the biggest fear I have for my baby other than the usual things is that I don't want her to get fat. I don't want to pass on my food issues to my little girl. I figure if I can get it under control, she will always have healthy food and healthy body image modeled for her. I never want her to feel like I have felt about my body and me as a person in the past. I have to conquer this, finish my journey. And for me waiting to have baby #2 (did I mention I'm 37 and feeling the clock tick) is torture. I want to get it over with and am still flirting with the idea of getting pregnant in 2013, but not until my body is back under control.

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How old are you?

25 and my husband is 23.... we will be 26 & 24 in sept/oct

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25 and my husband is 23.... we will be 26 & 24 in sept/oct

You're both so young! You have plenty of time to have kids. Wait the year and enjoy practicing :)

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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