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To Baby or Not to Baby????



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Yeah I think the clock ticking is an issue. Ever since I was a little girl I had wanted to have my family started by 23 just like my mom did... well I am 25 now and going on 26. I have always told myself I do not want to have kids after 30 so I feel like I am getting too close to that window. Maybe that is part of my wanting to rush it.

I did tell my husband last night that I might need to be selfish and just wait... I really don't want to but I feel like it's the right choice.

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At 23 I would say wait!

I am 25 my husband is 23... my parents were 23 & 25 when they had me so I guess I see from their view it worked out great...

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I am 25 my husband is 23... my parents were 23 & 25 when they had me so I guess I see from their view it worked out great...

I totally understand what you are going threw I hit my 1 year mark November 7 2012, my husband and I had been trying for 5 yrs to conceive and nothing. I decided to have the lap band done and I still have my struggles, my doc wants me lose 45 pounds more before I start again to conceive. I was so upset with myself because having a baby means everything to me I have my own issues with cravings still so I let myself down. Now I'm ready to take back control and get this weight off I just hope and pray it works. The best of luck to you.

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Yeah I think the clock ticking is an issue. Ever since I was a little girl I had wanted to have my family started by 23 just like my mom did... well I am 25 now and going on 26. I have always told myself I do not want to have kids after 30 so I feel like I am getting too close to that window. Maybe that is part of my wanting to rush it.

I did tell my husband last night that I might need to be selfish and just wait... I really don't want to but I feel like it's the right choice.

I know what you mean! I will be 27 on Monday and I feel like I should have already had a baby. My mother had me when she was 21 and I liked having a young mom growing up.

However... For me even a year makes a big difference in my maturity level, my patience, etc. my husband and I have been married for almost two years now but I like the idea of waiting a little longer to focus on us. I'm hoping that by 30 we start trying for kids. Hell, I have so much I want to do after I lose this weight and I don't want kids to stop me lol so I say wait, enjoy your husband, and enjoy yourself as you lose weight and get healthy :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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