What About Our Fat Friends And Relatives

[lisapereira66 18]

Just heading home for christmas soon. Haven't told anyone I had the surgery. I'm planning on playing it by ear once I get there about who I will tell.

I do however have a sister and one friend in particular that I would like to seriously talk to about the benefits of Lapland life.

I was wondering if any of you have approached your overweight friends and relatives. Be it out of sheer concern for their health, or just to let them know how much better I feel since I've lost this weight. I would love to hear how you handled it and what your reactions were.

Thanks,

Lisa

[LiveStrong41 51]

I would love to hear from others regarding this too. I haven't any desire to approach anyone and advocate for Lapband but I don't want anyone who has struggled as I have to think I did it on my own. I have worked very hard in my life to lose weight and keep it off, but without weight loss surgery I just don't believe I could do it. I have a very close friend who has been trying to lose weight dieting and she already knows about my having wls, but I find it so hard to help motivate her because I just don't believe she can do it without this tool. Absolutely no offense to her, just that I gave up all hope on myself before this surgery, so it's really really difficult for me to have hope for others my age and up who have struggled all their lives. Really looking forward to helpful comments from the people who have dealt with this and really care about the people they have spoken to about this.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Well from the beginning I have told everyone. Some have made the choice to have it and some wanted no part of it. I never waited for someone to say anything to me because they already knew. I wanted to be the example and I knew I couldnt fail. Three years and counting. I never hid it. Still tell people that I have had it. I want people to know that it can change your life as long as you stick with the program.

[SageTracey 608]

the best way to approach this is to be an example that they choose to ask you about. Let them know how great you are feeling, let them see your energy and enthusiasm for life.

I would suggest that you try not to be too evangelical about the band because that can be a turn off for some people. But let them know that you are happy to share/talk about your success when they are ready to hear about it.

[dee257 1,516]

For me in the begining I kept it all to myself...just my hub and twin sister...after banding and the weight started dropping a told just a very few friends.....then one day I decided to tell a friend who is very over weight...my reason was I wanted her to know...LOOK I DID IT...SO CAN YOU !!!...well didn't go that way at all...she belittled me...my efforts...told me..to be ready to start dumping...and being sick....needless to say I was hurt...mad...and very sad that I bothered to tell her when I really didn't want many to know....just to have her hurt me...since that day I have not told any one else....and mind you I'm down 107 lbs...she has never accknolaged {SP} any of my weight loss.....sighs......

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

We love you Dee!

[loseit 28]

I have not told anyone I work with. I have told some of my family members, mother, sister and brother. They all are very over weitht. I try not to mention it to them any more, because I can tell they don't want to hear it. I hope they will change their mind after I have lost all my weight. I seen them at Thanksgiving and I will see them again ago at Christmas. I just wish them could see how much of a better life they could have.

[MiniMi 1,468]

For me in the begining I kept it all to myself...just my hub and twin sister...after banding and the weight started dropping a told just a very few friends.....then one day I decided to tell a friend who is very over weight...my reason was I wanted her to know...LOOK I DID IT...SO CAN YOU !!!...well didn't go that way at all...she belittled me...my efforts...told me..to be ready to start dumping...and being sick....needless to say I was hurt...mad...and very sad that I bothered to tell her when I really didn't want many to know....just to have her hurt me...since that day I have not told any one else....and mind you I'm down 107 lbs...she has never accknolaged {SP} any of my weight loss.....sighs......

Jealously rears its ugly head in rare forms! Don't stress it. Deep down she knows what she could do when she's ready to change!

Your example really is helping her. If not today, then tomorrow. Love you!

[LiveStrong41 51]

For me in the begining I kept it all to myself...just my hub and twin sister...after banding and the weight started dropping a told just a very few friends.....then one day I decided to tell a friend who is very over weight...my reason was I wanted her to know...LOOK I DID IT...SO CAN YOU !!!...well didn't go that way at all...she belittled me...my efforts...told me..to be ready to start dumping...and being sick....needless to say I was hurt...mad...and very sad that I bothered to tell her when I really didn't want many to know....just to have her hurt me...since that day I have not told any one else....and mind you I'm down 107 lbs...she has never accknolaged {SP} any of my weight loss.....sighs......

That is exactly what I would be afraid of! I really don't wish to telly anyone because I honestly don't think it's their business, unless they truly care about me. The only reason I would encourage an overweight friend or family member is because if they have struggled like I have, I want them to know it can end. When I asked a friend of mine who had lapband about their success I tried SOO VERY hard to convey that my curiosity was sincere because I was unhealthy, deeply depressed, and wanted my future back. I would be so hurt if I shared my intimate journey with someone who reacted in the way your friend did. Sad and disheartening. I'm so sorry and disappointed that you had that experience, Dee! I think for now I'm going to continue keeping my mouth shut. Your heart was in the right place tho... :]

[Tomander 614]

I told all my immediate family.

I have extended family and friends that are extremely over weight but WLS is a very personal choice and you have to be ready for it... and for some people even when they have it they are not having it for themselves but for others and then they fail. I wish many of friends of friends would consider it but I know they need to make the choice for themselves.

When people ask how I lost my weight I tell them and I more than happy to answer any questions and I'm the first one to say that the band is not an easy way out but it's a tool and you have to work with tool... yes I have had people say I took the easy way out... and those people need to lose more than a few pounds.

Tom, Toronto

Banded July 6 06

Wt. Loss: 156 lbs

tomander@bell.net

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

Just heading home for christmas soon. Haven't told anyone I had the surgery. I'm planning on playing it by ear once I get there about who I will tell.

I do however have a sister and one friend in particular that I would like to seriously talk to about the benefits of Lapland life.

I was wondering if any of you have approached your overweight friends and relatives. Be it out of sheer concern for their health, or just to let them know how much better I feel since I've lost this weight. I would love to hear how you handled it and what your reactions were.

Thanks,

Lisa

honestly, if someone would have approached me and said (hey you need to do something about your weight) **as if i didnt know**, i dont know what i would have done. i am from the school dont do to others what you dont want done to you.

until a person is ready (and willing) to lose weight (the eating better/exercising/changing lifestyle)

you can talk til the blue cows come home on the lapband/bypass etc...its gonna go in one ear and out the other. and then if you would have said it to someone with a low self esteem, like, it would have caused me major strife and i would have had a hum dinger of a eating frenzy...

i would just do your thing and if they ((approach)) you, then offer how your health is better now because of the band. remember how fat people feel. we are harder on ourselves than we need be.

just my opinion on your post.

[Rojasanoll 920]

I'm sure we were all the topic of discussion because of our weight in the past and maybe we never heard it. WE are the ones that pursued a new beginning. I would never impose myself on anyone that wa soverweight, unless they asked me first. I have a few overweight guys and gals that I see and work with and I would never approach or brag about my goals except when asked. THEY have to be ready for Themselves to make the necessary changes in their own personal lives.

Best wishes

[honk 780]

Carolinagirl and Rojasanoll are so right. Someone who can't control their eating are like alcoholics, smokers, or drug addicts they have to make a conscious decision to change their behavior. It has to be a personal decision. The motivation to change has to come from within. My mother has always said there is nothing worse than a reformed smoker or fat person. Remember fat people know their fat.

If someone asks I am happy to tell them everything.

[Lapbandster 496]

I will NEVER go over to someone and tell them to lose weight/have wls//or ever bring up their weight for that matter.

Its so cruel, and people are sensitive.

IF SOMEONE COMES AND ASKS ME , then I would discuss dieting and if I'm close enough with them to trust them then i'll tell them about my lapband.

When I was at my highest (and still now), even if someone has the best intentions it makes me extremely uncomfortable when they bring up my weight

[hopetolose 192]

I have been very open about my surgery and if anyone had questions or wanted to know more than I am more than willing to give all the ups ( and downs) that I went through to get where I am now.

I would no way say to anyone that they need to have it done or suggest that they do it. This is a personal decision and I know had to personally be ready for this, cause if your not head ready, it won't work.

I had one sister in law that did it ( and is doing great) and one that seemed really interested but in the end has not chosen to do it yet. If she ever does, I will be there to help her if she needs me. But I won't push her.