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I Really Dont Get It. Very Disappointed.



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Wow you sure have a lot going on. May be think of your band journey as a way of taking time for just you. Measure, chew and chat. Good luck and know you deserve it and you know what to do.

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Everything that needed to be said has been already said so I'm just gonna add this:

I saw my friend drop a lot of weight fairly quick so I asked her what she was doing. She said TWO YEARS AGO she got banded and lost 40lbs between preop and post surgery then NOTHING for almost two years. Then it all started working for her. She kept working with her team until it all clicked.

Don't give up, don't miss your appointments, speak frankly with your team. And follow the advise listed above in increments you feel comfortable with.

Hugs to you!

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I just want to say, I am really surprised and touched at all of your sincere and genuine responses. I really did not expect such genuine replies to my ranting. I guess I expected more "get over it and do what you know you have to" replies.

It really makes me feel like there truly is real support here and I might just utilize it more often.

I really needed to hear all of your words of advice and understanding. I agree that my problems with food are not physical. I really feel relaxed when I eat. My life is full and overflowing with 5 girls, 2 grandsons, and caring for my elderly mom, and two inlaws, and homeschooling full time. There is never time for me. Not meaning to complain, just a fact. There are only so many hours in a day.

By the end of the day, which is when I do most of my eating, I am zonked, and just want to relax. Nothing else I've tried provides that instant relaxation that the feeling of full does. I guess I had hoped the band would sustain me long enough to get past the desire to keep going back for more during the evening.

I'm sure counseling wouldn't hurt, and I've done counseling before with a daughter for a different issue so I know how it works. I just don't want to go that way right now. Maybe in the future.

As far as tracking and measuring goes, I've done it in the past enough to know how much I'm taking in. Way too much. I've used Myfitness Pal and liked it too. I've done it all. I'm just a tough but to crack. I just can't get my mind right. I'm just tired of the struggle. I want to stop having to think about the food ever second of the day. I want to just eat to survive and move on and not eat for any other reason. It just doesn't seem possible to do. Food seems to always be a lure for me.

I know none of you can change my way of thinking or fix this for me, but I hope you know that the fact that you took the time to respond to my whining with genuine understand and care really means the world to me. You all are great. Thank you.

I completely understand how all the work you do taking care of your family can leave so little time for you, but when you have so many people relying on you, it's all the more important to set aside some time each day for yourself. You might even want to make an "appointment" for that and treat it as seriously as a doctor appointment.

One of the small but helpful things I do is this. When I come home from work feeling frazzled and am greeted by a husband and 9 dogs who all want my attention, I greet them briefly and go into the bedroom to change out of my work clothes (very important step when you have 9 dogs). I take my time in there, change clothes, hang up the work clothes, do a little tidying while I think about the day, take some deep breaths, wash my face, putter around some more...well, you get the idea. By the time I emerge from the bedroom, I'm in a calmer frame of mind and better able to tackle preparing and eating a healthy meal and visiting with my family (human and canine). They're OK with this routine because they've learned the hard way that I'm extremely cranky if I don't get my me-time.

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Do you LIKE the "meals" you eat? Are you a good cook?

I'm very much like you. I've been eating badly, way too much, and the wrong things. And I've been a bit at war with the band, and just want to eat and not have my fix disrupted! I don't want to be fat, and I have no really stress or other emotional issues that are causing me to overeat. I JUST WANT TO EAT!!! All the time. It's all I think about, and I'm very much an addict. I get twitchy thinking about an heirloom Tomato with balsamic vinegar. The thought makes me salivate, my palms twitch, and my face tingle. I am in constant search for that PEAK eating experience!

That said, I had a realization last night that 90% of what I eat, I don't actually like. I'm a lousy cook, and I eat the same few things over and over. I guess I graze on crap during the day to try and substitute the lack of pleasure I'm feeling from my regular meals.

I made two vows to myself:

  • I will try have more delicious meals. I will try to brainstorm REALLY yummy things, not just what I think I should be eating. Hopefully if I can raise the pleasure level of my regular meals, I won't want a snicker bar in the office.
  • I'm going to try and find an OA meeting (or some other group addiction counseling). I think I need to be around others who are struggling with the PHYSICAL craving to eat, the twitch crazy headspace that makes me want to eat around the band and practice bad behavior like drinking something hot right before a meal so I can cram more in.

Whatever you finally decide to do, I just want you to know that you're not alone!!!!

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Just wish I could give you a real hug....please don't give up....taking time for yourself is so important....try to give yourself just a special time every day...and God Bless you for all you do for others....

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Hey hun, just thought I'd let you know I have had my lapband for 2 years and I'm still sitting on the exact same weight as pre-op, at least youve lost weight :P. Hoping to get my butt into gear now though. But some of us still find it hard, I still crave bad foods all the time. Maybe just take a rest for a week or a month or even a year. Then start fresh when you want to try again :) Pushing yourself and hating yourself will only make everything so much worse, so take a breath and concentrate on something other than weight loss for awhile.

:( xoxoxoox

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I was just reading all of these very kind and compassionate replays to my struggles with the band early on and I wanted to update you all. First of all I just caught the typo where I said in my last post "I'm a tough but to crack" [emoji102] lol! Yeah that was supposed to say nut. Anyway my struggles never really changed. My mind change after a few adjustments to the band and I began a very low carb regime for about a year in 2015. I dropped another 30 lbs! Then my band slipped because of my own poor choices and I gained most of that back. By this point there's been much talk and much proof that the sleeve is s better option for some so I spent the last year or more researching a revision, while suffering with a slipped band. As of last Friday, 4/14/17 I have been converted to the sleeve. Now I'm on a whole new journey but with a lot more life experience and education behind me. And I know I have a great support group of total strangers who actually care enough to take the time to respond during the tough times. Thank you all again!


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Does anyone remember Carne Wilson when she had the RNY to lose over 100 pounds. Well, not too long ago she had a reality show on TV and I could not believe that she gained all that weight back again. I know what she was feeling and she then got the band even though she had the surgery originally and succeeded. I saw her last week on a TV advertisement for Progressive insurance and you know what she is still a plus size person. We all fail and get back on the wagon. Now that I am older (65) I am not in the frame of mind to give up everything and lose fast again. I am losing slowly about 1 1/2 pounds a week but as long as it goes down I am happy and do not feel like I am giving up all my favorites. Sometimes I think that being a drug addict where you can give it up totally would be a lot easier than this food problem.

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On 4/18/2017 at 7:48 AM, jbaker5d said:

I was just reading all of these very kind and compassionate replays to my struggles with the band early on and I wanted to update you all. First of all I just caught the typo where I said in my last post "I'm a tough but to crack" lol! Yeah that was supposed to say nut. Anyway my struggles never really changed. My mind change after a few adjustments to the band and I began a very low carb regime for about a year in 2015. I dropped another 30 lbs! Then my band slipped because of my own poor choices and I gained most of that back. By this point there's been much talk and much proof that the sleeve is s better option for some so I spent the last year or more researching a revision, while suffering with a slipped band. As of last Friday, 4/14/17 I have been converted to the sleeve. Now I'm on a whole new journey but with a lot more life experience and education behind me. And I know I have a great support group of total strangers who actually care enough to take the time to respond during the tough times. Thank you all again!

Glad to see that things worked out in the long run. I was banded in 2011, lost 70 but that was it, stuck there for the next 6-7 years no matter what I did. My doctor wouldn't do the band to sleeve revision due to the potential for complications by putting a scar line right through the scaring caused by the band. I went with the bypass and couldn't be more happy. I've got a friend that lost a lot with the sleeve and he's being revised to the bypass because the sleeve stopped working for him.

Now, something to aware of, there is going to be scar tissue under/around the band. And until the doc cracks you open, they won't know how much. My band took far longer to remove than it should have and more than doubled the length of my surgery due to scar tissue. My band was totally encapsulated in scar tissue and posed a major issue with removal. I'm lucky that they continued with the revision and didn't just stop at the removal, which I've heard is a potential with revision. I'm glad I got it out of me and didn't just deal with it longer.

Whatever you chose, good luck!

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You too are great and I think may need a little “ME” time. You spreading yourself too thin. Can anyone step in to help with all the care you’re giving to the family. You made this commitment to yourself when you had surgery. So we all here gave your back. Take the control back and do it. !!
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Above poster is correct. Take time for YOU- don't take last place always in the family, it's easy to put your own wants and needs to one side, I've done it myself. YOU are as valuable if not more valuable in this family equation. Exert a little M0THER POWER,NOW! 👩

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