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Sexual Question For The Ladies



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I have this question because I know many of you are probably like me and self concious of your body.

Do you allow your husband or significant other to " go down" on you?

I'm not hideous I believe I am an attractive women. I have a large chest and plenty of booty that my hubby really enjoys but I carry all my weight in my stomach and thighs so I'm highly uncomfortable with the thought of his head being there.

It really upsets him one because he feels its not fair for me to please him and him not to please me and two because he feels like I'm not comfortable with him because he loves me and finds me sexual attractive no matter my size.

Its not that I'm not comfortable with him he is the first person to ever make me feel good about myself and feel attractive. I just personally feel discusted with the thought of him having to do that since all my fat is there!!

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I'm the same way as you and my husband doesn't understand why I won't let him. For me, it just makes me feel really uncomfortable and that prevents me from enjoying it.

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Stick to the band rules and I'll bet you change your mind sooner rather than later. BTW, have you told him why? I finding talking helps a lot of these problems.

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Yes I've tried explaining it but he says I'm just being ridiculous.:(

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It never really seems to do anything for me when a guy does that. It probably is all mental though, I cant stand my stomach stretch marks or my fat and get embarrassed every time.

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lol......you guys are killing me..... i had a guy tell me once... Men don't care about any of that. Only people that worry about it ..... is us.

So if he wants to..... let him. Have a glass or two of wine and relax....enjoy your partner

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I WISH my husband wanted to do that - sorry for too much info for the people on here that know me, but I actually just recently had relations with my hubby after like 2 years - he is on high blood pressure medicine that makes him not even interested - he now says we are good for another 2 years. :( That we are too fat to enjoy it :( - Not me buddy - but do you give up a 27yr relationship over sex? Unfortunately he is my best friend - so the answer is no.

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As CHEZ said.... keep being a good bandster and I bet your mind will change as you get thinner... Believe me being naked in bed at 162 lbs is a FAR cry from what it was like at 377!!!

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Omg.. I rarely let my bf do that to me because of all the same reason's as you all. I am so uncomfortable and all I am thinking about is, omg.. is he going to get grossed out? I feel so fat.. and I can never fully enjoy it. I know after the weight is gone, shackles will be free! lol. But for now, I am with ya on that. He also tells me that men don't care about that thing and women are really the one's who care far more. Even though I know he doesn't care.. I care and it bother's me so... sigh! It will get better though!! :)

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My husband loves doing that. I was really uncomfortable with it to begin with, but I try to let go and enjoy. The bottom line is if you enjoy it allow it, if not don't. Just tell him you don't really get anything out of it. I find that my man just like for me to tell him what really does it for me and when I do he loves that, so I try to direct him to what gets me and off of what doesn't.

Once you loose weight you will be more comfortable with lots of things. I am just at 200 after being 244, and I already feel more free in that area.

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My husbands favorite,(one of em) thing! I think THEY GET MORE erotica from it than we do. Give me a good vibrator or the human equivelant and Im good for 30 seconds! I WISH MORE MEN WOULD GET THIS!!! Because I remeber dating! tellin all my secrets. With weight on and the fibro flaring I have little interest. He wouldnt (hasnt should i say, but ive no crystal ball, so i wont say he wont ever) leave me over sex, is my gut feeling. There are other things besides that and intercourse. OF COURSE. I used to be the horniest toad in the forest, not so much anymore. Sandy

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Oh, and he works physically hard for a living. Beautiful bod, Buns and blue eyes. Hes a sub station electrician Chief. No FEAR!

Sandy

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We have a great sex life. Honestly we usually have sex everyday. He just feels like it would be a lot funner if he could return the favor in the oral department.

I do believe I may try and relax and let it go for one day. He will be extremely thrilled at the opportunity and I can see if its something I actually like.

We've been together for almost 3 years now and at that point I was much larger and with having such an active sex life I do believe if there was something he didnt like about my body he would have already found it and left!

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It never really seems to do anything for me when a guy does that. It probably is all mental though' date=' I cant stand my stomach stretch marks or my fat and get embarrassed every time.[/quote']

It doesn't do anything for me either LOL. Fat or Not.

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My husband gets irritated when i wont let him do certain things. Yes we are over weight and yes they may have to work a little harder or ask for assitance to keep parts "up" lol but they really dont mind. Not the ones closest to you anyway..:-) if he says it doesnt bother him, put your fav music on, grab some wine, a fluffy pillow lean back and let the great times roll!

Speakinh from experience, ive learned not to deprive my mate due to my insecurities. I hate legs stomach backside all, but birthday suit or professional suit, he loves it all and I really couldnt ask for more:-)

Sent from my SAMSUNG GALAXY SII Skyrocket using LapBandTalk

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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