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Last night at my sister-in-law's house, the Halloween candy was a'flowin. There were also the brownies, cupcakes, etc. I complimented my sister-in-law on how yummy one of the treats looked, and my husband says,

"Why don't you just have one? You've done so good, you deserve it."

He meant nothing malicious by it; he's just simply observed my good habits and thought a treat would be a good reward.

For a split second I thought - yes, I do deserve it! Then I recalled skimming over a conversation on here about rewarding behavior with food is not a good idea. I thought about it for a minute then told my husband that I didn't need one, and that rewarding my small successes with junk food (post-op it could have been a bite, or half, of something yummy, before surgery it very well could have been a whole DAY of junk food) was a slippery slope.

It hit me like a ton of bricks - - these little, insignificant (at the time) "rewards" are really just my form of self-sabotage. I jogged three miles - I'll have a bowl of ice cream. I ate well and lost a couple pounds - I'll get myself a venti frappe from Starbucks. I can talk myself out of exercising and into a Butterfinger in a split second.

Are any of my fellow bandsters able to reward yourself with a treat, and use your self-control to not over-indulge? I tend to reward then feel horrible guilt afterwards.

Dang it, now I really want a Butterfinger and a Frappe! :)

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I never reward myself with food. There are so many other ways to reward yourself. A new outfit, mani, pedi, bubble bath, a nice hot cup of cinnamon roll Decaf coffee, food was our sabatoge. I reward myself with things that will still be around long after that moment that I would have had that candy.< /p>

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i haven't thought about it-rewarding myself for developing good habits...but pre op i did just that all i mean all the time. not now, crazy right? i don't know if a light bulb went off in my brain but i am so glad it did.

i didn't have a hard time last night with all the goodies around either. i was walking around with a very large watered down iced tea and lots of very shaved ice :) yummy

none the less congratulations for not giving in, it takes work at what we are doing...life changing :)

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I don't reward myself with food. Clothes, manicure, pedicure, etc... Are my rewards.

Now, I do have my treats on occation. They are not rewards...different to the mind!

Proud of you for resisting. That is a big kudos!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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