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Gone for Good Club - April 2006



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Wow!!! Similar thing happened to me Monday at the mall. At the mall the columns are made of mirrors in the department stores... and also when you walk by the store windows... you see your reflection...

Well, Monday was the FIRST time I saw my reflection and wasn't completely disgusted!!! I didn't have to suck anything in, or pull anything down!!!

We will get there one day.:confused:

So, yesterday when I was out shopping there was a section of the store that had pictures and mirrors (home decor) sitting along a wall. They were on the floor but leaned back against the wall. I was walking down the row, looking at the pictures and the last one in the row was a rather large mirror that I was thinking would look good over our fireplace. Then suddenly it hit me that the legs, hips, and stomach in the mirror.. were MINE! It literally made me gasp because it was truly the first time I had realized that I don't look the same at all! And oddly, it shook me up pretty bad so I turned away and tried to forget it. I think we are afraid to accept this change. How many times have we disappointed ourselves by regaining the weight and having to give up the "nicer" images we saw of ourselves? Maybe this is a defense mechanism? If we reject the image and the compliments, if we refuse to believe that the size 18s we just bought are almost too big on us (it's true!) then maybe we won't be as disappointed this time.

That will be $70 ladies. *holds out her hand with a grin*

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P'Nut, as usual you are completely right. IMHO, some of us don't want to get too excited about this new body because over and over again, we have lost the weight only to see if creep back on. It's so disheartening to gain it back, and I would eat away the depression.

It's a constant struggle to remind outselves that these inner demons are the ones that got us fat in the first place. My advice, take LOTS of pictures. Seeing yourself in the mirror is nothing like staring at a picture of yourself. Take lots of pictures of yourself and recognize that you really are the person in the image.

P'Nut and Dianechef- Both of your pictures are truly beautiful. Congratulations on such great success. And be thankful that you know that the problem is there and you're trying to address it. Admitting that you have this disconnect is the first step in the healing process.

(and yes, I was a therapist before I was a law student)

:confused: Kristin

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Ok...went to the doctor on Monday to have my fill. It wasn't my regular doctor and he did it right in the regular office instead of under the X-rays or whatever that machine is and drink the barium. Only $70 instead of the $200, so that was nice. The worst part of the visit was seeing I was up to 234, 20 pounds up from my lowest weight. But what I realized that day, is before having the band hearing I had gained back 20 pounds when I was on a diet I would have just kept gaining and eating being so depressed. But thats not how it is now, I have this tool for a reason and Im going to use it. So, Ive been on a clear liquid diet, starting on a full liquid diet today and plan on staying on a semi liguid diet for the rest of the week. The doctor and nurses thought that was a good idea.

This morning I was at 228, a good start. And the challenge sounds like something I need!

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Here's my stats for this week.

H 274.5/ S 268/ G 135/ C 241.5 (-33.0 lbs. total, -1.5 this week)

I got my first fill yesterday and I really hope it kind of jump starts me again! I was really nervous about the fill but I'm doing all liquids today and I feel fine. Can't wait to see next week's results though!:confused:

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Okay P'Nut, I am SOOO happy to hear you say you're going through the same issues!!!! I do the same thing with pictures. I am obsessed with trying to figure out what it is that everyone else is seeing!!

Yep, I think we need to sit our behinds down in the shrinks chair & just get it all out. We'd both will probably be thinking that our butts wouldn't fit in the chairs, when in reality, we could probably fit in another one in between us!! Kristin, Tricia, Heather.....want to join us?!?!

I'm thinkin' this just might be a whole new thread in itself. Should I start a new thread so we don't keep hi-jacking this one?!?! :confused:

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Okay P'Nut, I am SOOO happy to hear you say you're going through the same issues!!!! I do the same thing with pictures. I am obsessed with trying to figure out what it is that everyone else is seeing!!

Yep, I think we need to sit our behinds down in the shrinks chair & just get it all out. We'd both will probably be thinking that our butts wouldn't fit in the chairs, when in reality, we could probably fit in another one in between us!! Kristin, Tricia, Heather.....want to join us?!?!

I'm thinkin' this just might be a whole new thread in itself. Should I start a new thread so we don't keep hi-jacking this one?!?! :confused:

LOL...hey, I'll join ya if you want me to. :biggrin1: If you feel this warrants its own thread, I'm all for it.

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Okay, I started a new thread called "Messed up Body Image" if anyone cares to go there!!

So, back to the topic of weighing today.......you all are doing great!!!! Greta, aren't good fills wonderful?!?! I just got filled 2 days ago & I feel so in-charge now!!! The scale is going DOWN!!! :confused:

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dianechef: Oh i completely know where you are coming from...Im going thru the same thing still to this day....

for me I look at myself in the mirror and see change but dont think its good enough..people will compliment me on how great I look and say "thank you" but do I really feel like I look better? I do believe this will do a good one on our "heads".....it is for me....but Im getter better...I made a photo album (small) of some pics of me before and the day of and just as i have changed and I look at them for inspiration and to help me see that I have changed and this time it is permenant!!! You know we are here if you need us...even though most dont have doctor in our names!!! *hugs*

p'nut- YES...please add me to the challange list...I will try my best to be stong at making the most points!!! It is definitly hard though.....

Oh yeah...i go to my trainer tonight again and I will step on that aweful scale before I start and see where it leads me and then post tonight....be afraid scale....boy if it hasnt changed I tell you......I dont know what Im going to say or do...!!! Of course I will come here for support!!

going to check out your photos so I can see...I just recently posted mine too.....check it out!!!

Triciak- LOL...me too still have my shape and love my curves....they are smaller curves but still have them.....my belly is nothing compared to the "ham hocks" i have LOL.....I have junk in my trunk...so that is what Im working on ...oh yeah and my chubby arms.....got to loose those things as well......

Everyone is doing an awesome JOB.....keep it up ladies and gent.....

Happy Wednesday!!

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C 172 (-33 lbs total, -2 this week)

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p.s.

p'nut...how is the gym coming along?

Errr... :noidea:

I'll be posting the updates in the morning to allow everyone time to check in tonight. Y'all are doing great! I'm so proud!

Where is the rest of our club? I know you're out there somewhere folks, speak louder so we can hear ya! :)

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c-217.5 (total loss-74.5, 1.5 this week)

Went in Monday for my 6th fill. Dr decided I was losing at a great rate, 12lbs in 5 weeks, so he wants to wait a month before we fill again. I'm at 8cc in a 10cc band. I was cool with it as long as I reach my goal to be down 100lbs by the time I have my knee replacement redone on 6/27. It is really important to me to get there. I definately think the challange will really help me. Great idea Susan. Everyone is doing so wonderful. I was telling a friend that it is really fantastic to be sharing this journey with folks that understand the struggles we have experienced & that this a lifetime fight that we are all determined to win. Great job everyone.

Kim

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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