Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity



Recommended Posts

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On And Point A hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "in Box"

5. Put Decaf In The coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "for Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your Sentences With "in Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't Use Any Punctuation!

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order Diet Water With A Serious Face Whenever You Go Out To Eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "to Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their

Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The Atm, Scream "i Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over dinner. "due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. Share This Message With 5 Friends .... It's Called Therapy!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very funny...thanks for the laugh! My fave:

7. Finish All Your Sentences With "in Accordance With The Prophecy."

but, heck, all are funny!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kathy,

I have friends that actually DO that... LOL. Honestly.

My fav is: 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love these two, but the one about asking everyone if they want fries with that is funny. Can you see me saying that to my sargent boss ROFLMFAO!!!

Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "in Box"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everybody I see that this letter is translated from/to many different languages.I just received this mail few days ago in Czech:-)

my favorite is:

17.When The Money Comes Out The Atm, Scream "i Won! I Won!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Eileen - I like this one too.

Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

Sometime, when Im Walmarting with my 3 kids, I think Ill do that. :hat:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOVE IT!!! SO FUNNY!!!! I love No 2. Can just totally see myself paging myself over the intercom and all the lawyers in the office thinking I've gone bonkers. Thanks for the laughs!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okreally tempted on this one

Tell Your Children Over dinner. "due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of my favorite things to say at work:

Yes, I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial.

No, my powers can only be used for good.

I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

Ahh.. I see the f*-up fairy has visited us again.

I will always cherish the the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

17. When The Money Comes Out The Atm, Scream "i Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over dinner. "due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

These are my favorites!! HILARIOUS!!! :funnypost:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very funny Paula! Why can't I ever remember things like this when the situation calls for it?

Not a hijack at all GrizGirl - those were GREATNESS!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't wait to use the two when I go out with my husband. He embarrases easily. I am litterally crying I laughing so hard. My husband is going to think I have really gone crzay. I already ask for my fries cooked dark like me (well that's when I used to eat fries).

Thanks so much for picking up my day.

Order Diet Water With A Serious Face Whenever You Go Out To Eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "to Go."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ROFL......I happened to catch these after I came home from meeting friends for drinks!!! I LOVE EM ALL!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Stone Art By SKL

      Decorative Wall Cladding & Panels | Stone Art By SKL
      Elevate your space with Stone Art By SKL's decorative wall claddings & panels. Explore premium designs for timeless elegance.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×