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To Tell Or Not To Tell



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Thanks everyone, I have told my close friends and some family, I am happy to have this tool to help me get to a healthy weight! I don't think I need to share with people that it wont really effect!

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I'm not telling very many people. It's none of their business and because I am a low BMI' date=' I'm sure I would get a lot of snarls. I rather not deal with everyone's opinions and crap. I'm telling everyone I am eating less and working out. (Which will be the truth!)[/quote']

I so agree. My husband, daughter and one friend at school knows. My problem is my best friend who is very large and chooses to stay that way. I hate not sharing with her but this has to be my choice.

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I told everyone who ask what I was having surgery for. I am not ashamed of my choice, this is a health issue. Even though i have no real comorbidities currently. Just phrase is like this: If I had a blockage in my heart I would have it fixed, if I was a diabetic I would use insulin, if my knee was trashed I would have it replaced. I have been so honest and asked my friends (really close and loyal) to hold me accountable. Trust me they will :-)

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I haven't told my managers/boss at my work yet. I am waiting for the surgery date and then have my dr's fill out the medical leave papers from Human Resources, before I tell them. I am afraid they will do something to stall me from being off of work for the 2 wks. When they see the medical leave papers, they can't do much about it. Im sure I'll pay for it when I get back to work. I just know this cause I always get denied my vacation time every time since 2008. Alot of my co-workers are against this. They say I won't succeed. I am determined to prove them wrong. So I guess it all depends when and how to tell people.

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I tell people who are close to me personally. If people ask about my loss I tell them. I don't advertise it to everyone:)

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I decided to tell people because I am a cosmetologist and have been for over fifteen years. I told my family of course and my husband which he wasn't for it at first. My husband does sometimes get frustrated with me or maybe just scared for me when something gets stuck or I'm feeling sick because he can't fix it. I have told a lot of my clients because so many of them I have do.e their hair for so many years that they are friends not just clients. I like people knowing because for me it keeps me on the right path and I like the support.

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My family has no clue. Even the ones that live with me. It has been almost 7 years and I told one good friend who has no connection with my family or other friends. It was the best decision I ever made. I don't like to be judged. I don't need validation on how good I look. My size six clothes tell me all I need for validation of my success. I don't need to be the topic of any conversation or get any "expert," dietary or medical advice. I also do not want to hear second hand horror stories about weight loss surgery. I wear a medical ID tag around my neck. So that takes care of any emergency. For me this works.

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I told the people in my life that meant the most and that would support me. Did they all support me at first.... No... but when it all comes down to it... the only person that matters is ME.

You tell who you want to tell.... just be sure your ready for some good and not so good responses...

Good luck

Boy are you right about that! I was banded May24th and now the people that I did tell are my judge and jury. Everytime I eat or even look at food I get questioned. Seriously, I've had it. If they don't COMPLETELY understand the whole process, they need to mind their own-business!

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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