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How Do You Deal With Negative Feedback From Family,friends,coworkers About Being Banded?



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I've told my parents, sister and an older cousin

(who is also overweight).

Sadly, the only one who has not told me that i took the easy way out (Mom)or that i'm not loosing fast enough (dad) or that i'm not going to succeed (sister) has been my older cousin since we have both had weight struggles all of our lives.

The few friends i have told have been surprisingly supportive and even know of more people my age (24) that have had the surgery.

In the end in know that i did this for me,

so that one day i can be healthy and not have to shop at specialty stores

or be concerned when i'm dating, or getting ready to start a family.

I still have issues with self doubt, but i'm working threw them.

=)

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I only told my husband and daughter and no one else. I didn't feel like dealing with people's opinions.

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WOW ! all i can say is if im ever in a war i want all of you in the foxhole with me ! (especially you Cocobean ! You go girl !!) i love how everybody is so supportive of each other and how we really encourage each other to be strong and make good decisions. I told my family and they were 100 % supportive. I kept it low key but open at work and also got 100% support and it has continued since got banded 3 months ago,(down 30 lbs, several nice compliments, woohoo !!) i got a few normal , healthy questions about how the band worked, but nothing remotely negative. Im pretty outgoing, funny and positive anyway, (my glass is usually half full) so as i think people saw me discuss it in a positive way to get healthy, they reacted the same way. Pure support ! So if you have to deal with the haters, just realize they're either ignorant or need to put someone down to feel better about themselves. It's not about YOU, its about how they negativly feel about THEMSELVES !!!!

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Same way I dealt with haters before I got skinny: your opinion would be best kept to yourself. The constant compliments I get far outweigh the negative ones. People are surprised when I do tell them but I also usually share that I've lost 60 pounds since last may, more than halved my triglyceride count and have almost all normal blood values. A far cry from last year.

Bottom line: the decision to get banded is a medical decision that is best left between you and your physicians. The naysayers would hate on you if you didn't make the choice to take control of your weight. Now they have a different thing to pick on. They will move on eventually. Until then keep your chin up!

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The only person that knows, outside of my doctors, is my husband. I am a very private person by nature and don't share much of my medical history with anyone. I also knew that this would be a journey that I needed to feel positive and good about to be successful and negative remarks were certainly going to have me feeling bad about myself and would affect me. Fortunately for me I have lost about 100 lbs in the past (of course gained it all back plus some) so family and friends know I can get it off....so I haven't had any questions about my weight loss....only difference this time is that I will never regain it.

Unfortunately people who do not have weight issues have no idea what we go through. I am always amazed when I hear that wls is a cheat....a cheat at what? Losing weight to stay healthy? Better quality of life? Cocobean said it all very well.

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I put a post out to my friends and family via Facebook initially when I was considering the surgery. I of course got a lot of feedback. No one said they thought it was good idea, everyone said that I could do it on my own, or that I didn’t need surgery.

Most of them didn’t know that I was at risk for a heart attack, had high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. All they knew was that I was “big”.

After I was approved for surgery I told everyone that I was having it. I got a lot of supportive comments but I also got several private messages about why I was doing it or people offering to help me lose weight without the surgery.

I’ve been strong since then and very open. At this point I would just tell someone to kiss my ass if they have something bad to say. They don’t know you and they don’t know what you’ve been through.

Being fat is something that a skinny person will never understand unless they have been there…

Check out my blog for more information on my Lapband Journey:

http://sarahclover7.blogspot.com/

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The only person that knows, outside of my doctors, is my husband. I am a very private person by nature and don't share much of my medical history with anyone. I also knew that this would be a journey that I needed to feel positive and good about to be successful and negative remarks were certainly going to have me feeling bad about myself and would affect me. Fortunately for me I have lost about 100 lbs in the past (of course gained it all back plus some) so family and friends know I can get it off....so I haven't had any questions about my weight loss....only difference this time is that I will never regain it.

Unfortunately people who do not have weight issues have no idea what we go through. I am always amazed when I hear that wls is a cheat....a cheat at what? Losing weight to stay healthy? Better quality of life? Cocobean said it all very well.

boy oh boy.. . i can identify so much with this post... thank you for saying it like i would say it. i dont need any negativity to get in the way of this way of life ive entered into.. thanks for posting. (( hugs ))

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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