Wife Just Got Banded--What Should I Know?

[The Hubby 4]

My wife just had her lap band surgery today.

What should I know?

Or to put it another way, what do you wish YOUR husband knew ahead of time?

I want to be a supportive blessing to her.

[Dulci 108]

My husband has been amazing since I've been banded. When I was in the post-op liquid diet stage, he was very considerate about eating/cooking. He ate a lot of sandwiches so I wouldn't have to smell his wonderful food. As soon I was able to start walking, he joined me.

As I started losing weight, he started following my doctor's recommended high protein/lower carb recommendations. He eats the same things I do, but in larger portions. He has lost weight and his diabetes is better controlled.

Good luck to both of you!

[Bremartus 76]

Being there for her is great. Ask her what she might like? I have not had the surgery yet but when I had my gallbladder remover a year ago My husband would carry things for me, he would make sure that our kids let me rest and helped me up and put things I needed with in reach. Goog luck to your wife and you.

[elcee 3,343]

Do not bake muffins when she comes home. My husband did a week or 2 after my surgery and I could have quite happily killed him.

[Fit in my 60's 25]

My husband has been great. He has been cooking his own meals so I don't have to which really helps. ( I'm just 2 wks post-op.) If he eats a snack while watching tv, he does so in the kitchen. He has been really good at making sure I get in the required 60 g. of Protein each day. For the first week or more he was right there whenever I got up from my recliner or bed. Without going into detail just remember her stomach will be quite tender for a few weeks so some activities may have to be curtailed or altered :-) But the very best thing that he has done for me is to understand what I've been going through for many years trying to lose weight and being 100% supportive when I talked to him in the beginning about even having the surgery. Good luck.

[GLove 44]

You are a sweetheart for just asking the question.

[RN4Nsy 1]

Supporting your wife is already awesome! I was banded 1/26/12. My husband would eat out or fix his own food so I could not see him eat when I was on liquids. When your wife begins solid food, don't say "are you sure you should be eating that?" Her Doctor and her body will let her know what she can tolerate. When she starts her exercise program, do it with her. Many people think this is a "quick fix" and it is not. It is a journey, even if her progress is slow. Remind friends and family of this. For example, I have a friend who keeps asking how much I have lost and my first fill is not till 3/7/12. For now in the immediate post op period, the common sense things that are suggested are a big help. Help her in and out of chairs, bed, etc. Put her socks on for her. Go to the grocery store, buy the best sugar free popsicles you can find! Above all, just remind her how proud you are of her, that she is getting healthier.

Myra

[sandymax 27]

This process can be an emotional roller coaster sometimes, when she is venting and it seems like she needs answers just give her a hug. I agree with not judging her food or portions and tell her she's beautiful... We love that.

[Cocoabean 430]

Just remember, you are NOT her food or program police! It's fantastic you are asking the question.

When she gets stuck, don't make a big deal out of it. Laugh with her, if she has a sense of humor about it. Commiserate if she needs a shoulder. But most of all, don't make her feel bad for making mistakes along the way.

It is a journey, take it with her.

[EdmontonGal 4]

Arent you a gem? Already a step in the right direction.

My husband was my biggest cheer leader. He changed his eating habits along with me (for the most part, he still has a steak while I have fish or chicken on occassion). He was always the first to tell me how great I was looking and the first to tell me that my hips or my collarbones were sexy!

He has been really great about exercising with me. A walk together, a bike ride, a ski trip or weights while I am on the elliptical. He was never in to exercising before but through his own research about my band, he discovered that there is a high divorce rate with WLS patients. This must've scared him I think. lol.

Your wife is going to gain confidence and motivation as she succeeds. This isn't meant to scare you at all but her interests and hobbies will change. Growing together is a solid way to make sure your relationship remains close and as you are here, we can all tell that you want the best for her and as long as that stays the same, you will be fine!

[#MagicWithinme 173]

Hugs and support, and reminders, in a nice gentle way. And yes eating away from house if you get hungry for a burger or something, my poor hubby would say he needed to go get something and I found out later he went to go to a mcdonalds a block away and ate in the truck. And help by following some of diet, its not that bad, and you'll be surprised. My hubby makes my shakes for me and he has started drinking them too. And continue to read the forum you will glean so much so much information on sitee. He's cook of house, so he cooks with thoughts of smaller porportions.

And just love , love love her. this change is for the both of you. good luck

[ducker2010 17]

This process can be an emotional roller coaster sometimes, when she is venting and it seems like she needs answers just give her a hug. I agree with not judging her food or portions and tell her she's beautiful... We love that.

My husband has been extremely supportive also. But I don't think he gets the emotional roller coaster. Our whole lives are changing. And I do mean every part of it. From the way we eat to the way we socialize now. Just be a sounding board.

[lellow 1,713]

I think you should ask her. I never wanted my hubby or kids to hide their food from me. I figured I'd have to learn to cope with going out to restaurants and stuff, so I had to learn to control it for myself. I told my husband as much.

For me, it was more about understanding me as I got obsessive about my weight loss. My ex was a personal trainer and at first he was very supportive about encouraging me to exercise, or watch what I eat. But as I got thinner and he was watching it happen, he started getting on my case, saying I was getting obsessed. I probably was, but his crticism made me hide it from him, and made me feel like I was sneaking around rather than sharing it with him.And because I was too afraid to talk about something that featured so much in my life, it became the elephant int he room.

It may sound irrational for someone to obsess, but it does take a lot of focus to lose weight. And for a while, she may do nothing but talk about food and weight. Let her play it out. Eventually she'll get more used to the 'new' lifetstyle and it will settle down.

[isit5yet 37]

First of all, you rock for asking the question. I second what everyone else said. My husband was amazing since we had a 2 year old at the time, and I couldn't pick her up for 2 weeks. The best thing you can do is be an ear for her whenever she needs to vent, freak out, cry or just talk. This is a big life change for her and sometimes it takes just someone you love to listen.

I don't know you, but I agree with someone who said don't be a food police, so I'm not assuming you would be like this. She may feel self conscious if she wants a cookie. A cookie is a cookie. It's when we eat 10 that it's a problem. Enjoy the one or two treats now and again with her. Find other ways to Celebrate that doesn't involve food. Birthday or Anniversary chocolates can now be a gift certificate for a massage

Here are some things to know that she may not readily admit:

1. Being on the pre and post liquid diet can cause diarrhea. liquid in - liquid out. Be sure she has enough G2 (low sugar) Gatorade in the house.

2. After she starts solids, her food intake may be so little that there is little waste, which can lead to Constipation. If it's not one, it's the other hehe. Make sure you have some Colace in the house just in case.

3. Get her some Thermacare heating pads or a regular heating pad. The surgery gas pain comes as pain in the left shoulder.

4. Make sure she has a good, small blender or a bullet blender. I got a small Cuisinart. It comes in handy for the mushy stage, and they are cheap. Getting her a blender won't be seen a misogynistic. Trust me. I wasn't a fan of schlepping my sore self to Target to get one when I was allowed to have mushies.

5. Visit the recipe/nutrition portion of the site and give or make her some of the suggested mushy food. Try it yourself, you may like them! Beans w/ salsa... mmmmm

6. She really shouldn't carry anything more than 25 lbs for 10 days. Help with the heavy things.. laundry, kiddos, groceries, etc.

7. My husband got me gift certificates to places I've always wanted to shop. When I hit milestones, he surprised me with them and it was lovely.

I'm so seriously touched that you thought to reach out and ask for feedback. Your wife is very lucky as are you to be a part of her journey.

[kimber13 0]

what a wonderful husband! My biggest advice is just to just be there for her, tell her how good she is doing and that it will all be worth it.

As time goes on always try remember the right choices on foods she should and shouldn't be eating. If your sitting there eating a burger and french fries, she will want one

Good luck to your wife!