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My Mom told people about my surgery



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I know it is a major struggle for a lot of us whether to tell people about our LapBand surgery... It is also often talked about on this site but I have kind of unique situation at this point and want some opinions please. rolleyes.gif

I decided to only tell my immediate family and close friends initially but now I am getting tons of comments and questions about what I am doing. For some bizarre reason I feel awful not telling people the "truth". I know I am telling them the truth by saying low carb, high Protein, more exercise, etc. but some family members are obviously wondering "how" after all these years and some of my Aunts have been so full of compliments!

To add to this, I asked my Mom yesterday if she had told anyone (she promised she wouldn't) besides my brother who she already "slipped to". Well it seems she told at least one of my Aunts and my Memere. My family CANNOT keep a secret so I know it is just a matter of time that it all gets around. I don't want people feeling bad that I kept this from them but I also don't really want to deal with all the questions...

Question is: Should I be proactive and just start telling everyone so at least I'm the one to tell them or should I just let the gossiping commence?

Thanks everyone. Jenn

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I would start telling them. It feels good to share and there will always be some people that have a weird stance on it, but who can argue with results!

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I would tell everyone, I told everyone about mine. Dont be afraid, you are still doing it on your own.

Why wouldnt you tell?

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I would tell! I tell anyone who can stand to listen. It helps keep me accountable and if they have anything negative to say I give them an education real quick!

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This is the exact reason I didn't tell my mother. She can't keep a secret either and it's nobody's busines but my own.

I'm sorry that she's going against your wishes. if it's that important to you to keep it a secret, tell her that you are upset that she shared such a personal thing with others when it wasn't their business and that you would appreciate it if in the future she could not tell anyone else.

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On the bad side when you tell everyone about your surgery they watch everything you eat and let you know if they think its not enough or to much or not thr right thing.

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Thanks everyone. I am VERY upset with my mother but I am pretty used to her not being able to keep a secret. I had hoped that for something this important she would keep it quiet. I didn't want to tell people because I don't want people watching what I eat, I don't want them judging me for "taking the easy way" and believe me I KNOW that it is not easy but they don't! Why do I really care what people think? I wish it didn't matter but it does...

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So true Wanna Be, I think people are more judgemental now than when I ate anything I could. I always thought this was the easy way out, but have since learned it is not at all.

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I think our mom's might be sisters. I have to preface everything I tell my mom with "I don't want you to put this on facebook" .....

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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