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Feeling like a failure



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Ok I had my surgery 9/2/10 and to date have lost 40 lbs. I have had back surgery since and haven't been able to exercise but anyway I don't feel like 40 lbs is good in 1 year. Maybe I'm feeling sorry for myself or something, Trying real hard to stay with the 1 cup but not always successful. Just needed to vent a little. I guess it's better than gaining. Thanks for listening.

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First you are not a failure <IMG src="http://cdn.lapbandtalk.com/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.gif"> because you have had some success so get that word out of your vocabulary. Start slow and try to get some movement in. Dance while you vacume, Tap your feet if you have a desk job and move them from side to side. If you are in recovery then there is not much you can do so just relax and get back in the game once you are better. Call you surgeon you may need a fill...Good luck to you and stay positive.<BR><BR>

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you are not a failure. you have lost 40 lbs and i am assuming have kept it off. get up and do some moving, walking is great exercise and it is free. when was your last fill? you have had success, might not be what you were aiming for, but you have lost weight and that does count for something.

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It'll be a year for me in December. I haven't lost as much as alot of people I see on this site, and that makes me feel a little discouraged so I know where you are coming from. Most of the weight I lost was in the first 4 months. I'm coming to find out that you have to be really patient, and it does take a while for the band to actually start working WITH you. Not all of us take to it at the same rate, it took a while to get to where I think I am now, hopefully my "sweet spot".

Most of the year I thought the band was doing what it was supposed to be doing, but it really wasn't, I was still figuring it all out and still am, I guess.. if that makes sense, I was and am adjusting to my adjustment.

Finally a week and a half ago I got a fill that made me feel like what I've been hearing everyone else on here talk about. Like, only being able to eat very small amounts of food, staying fuller longer, having to wait to drink, not being able to gulp down my fluids.. Where as before I was eating much less than pre-band but was still able to eat anything and everything without having to slow down too much or think about it much. There was a significant difference in how I was eating but nothing compared to how it's been for the last week and a half. I've lost almost 7lbs since that last fill, I hadn't lost any weight in about 3 months before that. And before that my weightloss was averaging about 4-6lbs a month, so they weren't huge losses, but they were losses. I've been good with my Protein intake, and cut back on carbs significantly. I've also started working out which is difficult for me because I absolutely hate it more than anything! But we gotta do what we gotta do..

For you to lose 40lbs slowly is a wonderful thing. It's great actually, considering you had back surgery and probably haven't been able to get around much. Of course we want it all off right now, but slow is better in the end. If you're anything like me you could have possibly gained another 40 on top of your original weight if you hadn't had the help from the band over the last year. Be proud of your 40 pounds and do not feel like a failure. My feeling is that the slower the weight comes off the better and easier it will be to keep it off. As long as you are losing and not gaining that in itself is a great accomplishment.

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40 pounds is a lot!! I am proud of you!! Imagine how much harder back surgery recovery would be with 40 extra pounds to haul around! I want you to think about this, if you lost a ton of weight at once, your skin is not equipped with the elasticity to bounce back and shrink up at that same fast pace. Then you are stuck with wings under your arms and a saggy pouch hanging farther down your abdomen than you belly actually was. You would end up having to have surgery to remove the skin and I hear it is rather painful and full of complications. Take pride in your accomplishments so far and remember that this is a life long journey, just be healthy!!

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Ok I had my surgery 9/2/10 and to date have lost 40 lbs. I have had back surgery since and haven't been able to exercise but anyway I don't feel like 40 lbs is good in 1 year. Maybe I'm feeling sorry for myself or something, Trying real hard to stay with the 1 cup but not always successful. Just needed to vent a little. I guess it's better than gaining. Thanks for listening.

Take heart vhayes, there is great hope for continued success. As others have said, you are NOT a failure. And there's more good news. I was banded in June 2009. I had back surgery (L3, L4, L5 fusion) in July 2004. I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis (arthritis of the spine) in hmmmm 2008 (I think). I also have arthritis in my knees and a few other places. I am currently in physical therapy once a week because I want to "kick up" my exercise routine. Yes, you heard me right "exercise routine". I don't know how extensive or restrictive your surgery is, but I hope that I can encourage you in the exercise area with my story.

Even with the things I mentioned above, I power walk 3 miles virtually every morning before work, AND I have started walking in the evenings as well. I often get a mile or two on the weekends as well. I feel great! What my ortho said is, my spinal stenosis is not going to improve and that after back surgery I will never run again (which is only partialy true because they have a "G-Trainer" at my PT which can take up to 80% of your body weight off ... so I may run again yet :D ); and that strenuous exercise will likely inflame my spinal stenosis. BUT, he also said that if I build up the muscles around my spine I will be able to do much, much more because the muscle will support the spine - hence the physical therapy. I know my limitations and, sometimes I over step, but when I do I take a break for a day or two to let my spine recover, then I gently return to my routine.

Exercise is an important part of weight loss for most of us. Talk to your ortho about re-introducing exercise into your life. Also research your surgery to see what you can and cannot do in the long run. I have trouble doing the weights because my spinal stenosis is mostly in my neck. My PT told me that the answer is to do my weights laying down. It will keep the pressure off my neck while still working my arms. I am thrilled. Remember, where there is will, there is a way.

We are here to support you.

Good luck and God bless!

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You are NOT a failure!! Losing is a win- no matter how much. I am 15 months out and haven't reached my goal, but it's not a failure- I am just slowly getting there. You have had to recover from another surgery so don't beat yourself up. Rest, recover and then refocus on losing more.

Tbh I don't exercise enough- not at all since my TT 8/26, but I will find my focus again, you WILL TOO. I don't always stay at a cup either, but u can still lose. We are all here for u

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Thanks everyone for the encouraging words and modivation I needed. I will move forward from this point and hope for the best. Thanks again.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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