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22 and scared...help!!



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I'm 22 years old and am scheduled to have surgery Aug 6. My parents were the ones that brought up the surgery but after learning about the procedure both of them have major concerns while I'm trying my hardest to not back out because of fear. I had to have my gall bladder removed a week ago in preparation for the surgery and that was unbelievably uncomfortable so I'm scared of being in serious pain again since he'll basically be using the same technique (single incision). However, my BIGGEST concern is- Is it possible to still be a normal 22 year old? I'm so worried about going out on dates and going out with friends and not being able to eat and drink at the same time and only eating a few bites of my meal. I have decided to keep my surgery a secret because my friends that I see on a daily basis are not exactly kind and supportive people. My close friends know but they live far away. I'm also starting my senior year at college Aug 22nd- according to the diet plan I'll still be eating baby food by then.

20 somethings and college kids help!! what was your experience like? Are you happy you had the surgery at a young age?

Is there a good way to find local support groups that are age specific? I live in North Carolina.

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I'm 22 years old and am scheduled to have surgery Aug 6. My parents were the ones that brought up the surgery but after learning about the procedure both of them have major concerns while I'm trying my hardest to not back out because of fear. I had to have my gall bladder removed a week ago in preparation for the surgery and that was unbelievably uncomfortable so I'm scared of being in serious pain again since he'll basically be using the same technique (single incision). However, my BIGGEST concern is- Is it possible to still be a normal 22 year old? I'm so worried about going out on dates and going out with friends and not being able to eat and drink at the same time and only eating a few bites of my meal. I have decided to keep my surgery a secret because my friends that I see on a daily basis are not exactly kind and supportive people. My close friends know but they live far away. I'm also starting my senior year at college Aug 22nd- according to the diet plan I'll still be eating baby food by then.

20 somethings and college kids help!! what was your experience like? Are you happy you had the surgery at a young age?

Is there a good way to find local support groups that are age specific? I live in North Carolina.

Hello! let me start by saying.. im 22 as well! So I immediately felt the need to respond! The incisions will hurt a bit, but really not more than a week or so. and will mostly just be sore. That's how mine were. Honestly, this was the best decision I could have ever made. Yes, it makes dating interesting, and going out with friends interesting.. but it really is what you get used to. Don't get me wrong, its REALLY hard, and you'll have to make some major changes.. but personally for me.. I wouldn't have been able to do it without the surgery. Date suggestions? Go out for coffee or drinks as you get to know the person.. and then clue them in on the surgery when you feel comfortable. In the beginning for me, I didn't want ANYONE to know, in fear of being judged.. but you would be surprised at how supportive people can be. And as for going out with friends.. I know you mentioned you wanted to keep it a secret.. as did I.. but you never know.. maybe putting it out there and actually explaining what it is will help them understand. Worse comes to worse, and you REALLY dont want to tell them.. just keep it as "I'm on a very strict diet". But overall.. my suggestion is DEFINITELY do it! It's gonna be hard, and there will be times you wish you hadn't but just keep the end goal and the big picture in mind! Isn't being healtthy, and looking and feeling great so much better than a date or an outting with friends? Plus, if they're gonna be cruel and judege you.. you probably don't want them in your life anyway!

WOW that was a long responce! But I felt the same exact way when I got my surgery, and would have loved someone to share with me.. so I hope I helped a little!

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Thank you so much for sharing! Your comment actually got my mom back on board again so thats a big relief! Its always a good feeling to know that other people have gone through the same stuff. If you don't mind me asking another question...I'm having the surgery August 6th and have to head back to school August 13th or so...I am slightly worried about being on my own so quickly....how did you feel a week after your procedure? Were you able to go back to normal activities?

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I had my surgery on a Thursday and was back to class on the following tuesday I believe. For me, I was still a little sore just around the incisions. But one thing that really helped was my mom got me up and out almost every day following the surgery and kept me moving. That was a huge help! Not only to keep my mind off the fact that I couldn't eat, but helped with the risk of getting blood clots. (Same for any other surgery) Don't overdo it, but you'll be totally fine before you know it. Honestly, the only time you'll notice the incisions is when you get up from a chair, or get up from bed but other than that it was fine. And It didn't last more than a week and a halfish. You'll probably notice the hunger more than anything, but its easy to get used to. It's normal to be nervous, trust me. But if the weight loss is as important for you as it was for me, you wont regret it! Please let me know if you have any other questions! Or just want to chit chat about about absolutely anything! It's always good to have someone in your corner :)

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I'm currently 24 but had the surgery when I was 22. I had it on a Friday and was back to work the next Tuesday, where I moved slow but my coworkers knew I had had "abdominal surgery" so they were accommodating and helped lift anything I needed and understood when I couldn't do something. I haven't told the people at work yet, but all my friends and family know. My family knows primarily because the majority of them had gastric bypasses, so this was just another weight loss surgery to them, no worries there. My friends know because I'm not really ashamed of it. Before the surgery I was really shy and upset over my weight, but after I had it something instantly changed. I did it for me and I didn't care what they thought, and most of them were happy for me and ask about my progress. Heck, some people even forget that I had it and ask me why I'm not eating very much!

I got back into dating a year and a half ago (about 6 months post surgery). I felt extra confident in my new weight, even though at 210ish I was definitely not skinny! First dates I chose not to do a food date. If they suggested dinner, I suggested something more fun like going to an art walk downtown or just meeting for some coffee first. After the first and second dates, if I liked a guy, I said yes to the dinner date. If they commented on how much I was eating, I would tell them. If they didn't notice, it was up in the air whether I told them or not. It's more of a feeling you get, if they're going to be receptive or not. If they don't like fat people, then to hell with them! Fat people are awesome. I could not abide by someone saying they didn't like fat people when I was one of them.

You're doing a great thing by getting the surgery and changing your life. Your health conditions will improve and you will feel so much better about yourself and your body. It's okay to be scared, but know that what you are doing now will change your life forever. I whole heartedly encourage getting banded at a younger age, because it's just that much sooner that you will be able to get more joy out of your life, especially if you are experiencing health issues. After the initial recovery period, you are much like a normal 20-something. You can go out, you can do strenuous activities, and you have the added benefit of helping your health problems. It's a great life choice :)

Sorry if this is so long, I just really wanted to help encourage you! We can do anything we set our minds to :)

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I'm 21 and would do it over and over again. The day after my surgery I was shopping withy husband,recovery is not that bad at all! I quit taking pain medications after the second day also! I have not had my first fill yet so any weight loss is purely up to just me at this point. However, I'm as happy as a clam because I know once I start getting fills I can use my band to its full potential! You have to remember its only as bad as you make it! I was begging my mom and hubby to take me home when they started getting me ready for surgery but after a "cocktail" (something a lot like valume [sp?]) I was giggling and waving bye on the way to the operating room! And its all easy breezy from there! Just remember its a tool not magic! Work with your band! Hell,I'm naming mine once I get to know him,or her a little better! Everyday is a new experience and emotion. Go with the flow and good luck!

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I'm 21 and would do it over and over again. The day after my surgery I was shopping withy husband,recovery is not that bad at all! I quit taking pain medications after the second day also! I have not had my first fill yet so any weight loss is purely up to just me at this point. However, I'm as happy as a clam because I know once I start getting fills I can use my band to its full potential! You have to remember its only as bad as you make it! I was begging my mom and hubby to take me home when they started getting me ready for surgery but after a "cocktail" (something a lot like valume [sp?]) I was giggling and waving bye on the way to the operating room! And its all easy breezy from there! Just remember its a tool not magic! Work with your band! Hell,I'm naming mine once I get to know him,or her a little better! Everyday is a new experience and emotion. Go with the flow and good luck!

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Thank you soo much this is all really helpful and is making me feel a lot more secure in my decision! I have to just keep the end goal of being happy and healthy in mind! I'm so glad I found this talk forum because I don't know anyone who has had this surgery and its really nice to be able to come here and chat with people my own age who really know what I'm going through! I have my pre-op appointment tomorrow and I'm nervous but super excited!

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Just reading all your comments have me so excited to go through w the surgery. My parents and fiance aren't completely supportive of me having this surgery but I think that's because they r scared and have never been overweight. But I feel i am ready to let go of the old shy me and bring out the confidence I always knew I had. Good luck to you all!!!

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I'm 20 and had my band put in only 7months ago, it has already been the best decision I have ever made.I was very nervous as well, but the surgery is a breeze and you're only a little sore afterwards, I've heard many times that the LB surgery pain is far worse than many other surgeries such as the gallbladder removal. I'm a full-time college student and I'm very active at university and within my sorority, I still go out, party, go to dinners everything.you learn to live with your band, it's an amazing tool and you couldn't pay me to take it out.Prepare for your big day, it will be the first day of your new life!good luck

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Also--I went back to work 2days after surgery, and rarely had to use my pain meds.Mind you I worked at a clothing store in the mall so no hard labor, but I was def.okay to go back.My doctor says our age helps w/our speedy recovery

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best of luck... I am 22 and still going through the pre op stuff and dont have a date. I know that things may seem tough now but just wait till u start shedding pounds, in the long run u will be able to be normal.... But who wants to be normal anyway lol

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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