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Hello Everyone!

I'll be leaving for vacation in another 10 days for a glorious time in a Beach House on Lake Michigan with my husband, my sister, her husband, my nephew, his wife, and their two adorable children. They all know about my surgery and are very supportive. This is my question: I will be about 4 weeks post op and in what my surgeon calls the "soft Protein phase", should I dine with the group? I have mixed emotions. Will power is not a problem. I seem to be able to stick with my program no matter what. I am very motivated!!!! I don't want to put a damper on the festivities of eating. I don't want ANYONE to feel guilty about what they are eating. By the way, none of them have a weight problem. I'm fine with eating on my own,and in many ways this might be better for me. My routine thus far has been to eat only when I feel hungry i.e.hunger pains, growling stomach.lol It really works!:lol:Any comments would be greatly appreciated. This forum has been a lifesaver for me so far on my journey.smiley-confused005.gif

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IMO you should dine with your family. I would prepare my meals with them, sit down enjoy your mushies while they eat their meal. The lapband is your new way of life and you will always be eating differently from others, especially those who are not banded.

I had surgery last year, about 1 week before 4th of July. My brother and sister in law had a spectacular 4th of July Bash with all kinds of wonderful food, but of course I was on FULL liquid diet, being only 5 days post op. My family was and has been VERY supportive throughout my journey and on that day in particular they insisted I sit with them as a family and enjoy my liquid. I did and we celebrated our freedom as a family.

This year on the 4th and since my surgery, we eat all meals as a family when we are together, but I just eas ALOT less than everybody else.

Good luck on your journey and have a WONDERFUL vacation!

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I was just at a family reunion last weekend and while it was hard to see all of that food all over the place, had no issues with eating around the family. They know what I had done and most of them actually commended what I was doing since they had their plates loaded up and were stuffing their faces. ;)

Having surgery shouldn't keep you from family meals. I wouldn't worry about it :)

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Whether you eat or not I think you should sit with your family while they do. Family meal time isn't about the food. Its about time spent with each other. I see you live in Texas. Does that mean you will be vacationing with people you don't see on a regular basis? If so, all the more reason to spend as much time together as possible.

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I had my surgery a few weeks before Christmas. i attended any number of parties, and was able to stay on track regardless of the occasion. It was MUCH more important to me to be included in the festivities than worrying about what I put on my plate.

If you're worried about anyone feeling weird eating while you aren't, just have your meal before the family eats. Tell them you've finished already, but you'll sit and talk with them while they're having their meal. Change the subject, and make it a non-issue. You should be fine.

Dave

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Yes, you absolutely should join them. If you are part of the meal planning, try to have a dish that you can eat. Then just serve yourself what you can have. Don't make a big deal out of it. You will be banded for life. The less issue you make of it, then less your family and friends will. You just have different eating habits. Like a vegetarian, or someone who is allergic to peanuts. When we go to friends' homes for dinner, I never say anything about my band. I just choose from what is available. If that means I have a meal of lettuce and potatoes, I have a meal of lettuce and potatoes.

Since they are all supportive, I think they will want to include dishes you can eat. Even if you have to have a separate Protein, you can still have side dishes with them. They'd feel much worse if you were in another room or just sitting there without a plate (imho). Even if you just have a small plate with a serving of a tiny side dish, you are still taking part in the meal ritual.

Just be very, very careful when eating with a group. It's very easy to get distracted and forget to take small bites and chew thoroughly. Being on soft foods, you probably won't get stuck, but it's never too early to start working on those good habits.

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I agree with the others...you should definately eat with your family. Besides, I would think that it would make your family feel more uncomfortable if you weren't eating with them than if you do but just eat whatever is on your plan at that point in time.

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I totally agree you should sit with the family. When I am with a group, I kind of do my own thing as far as eating. If it's time for me to eat when they do, great. If not, I just sit with the group. None has seemed disturbed by this at all. Have fun!

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Whether you eat or not I think you should sit with your family while they do. Family meal time isn't about the food. Its about time spent with each other. I see you live in Texas. Does that mean you will be vacationing with people you don't see on a regular basis? If so, all the more reason to spend as much time together as possible.

Thanks for the advice. Yes I live in Texas and my entire extended family lives in Michigan. I try to get home at least once or twice a year to see everyone who I love soooo much! I have been sitting at the dining table with hubby and son, when he's home. It's kind of been a fun topic of discussion with my "boys"!! LOL :laugh:

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Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful comments!! This forum has helped me more than you can imagine!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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