Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

my niece overheard me talking about my upcoming Lap Band surgery today.



Recommended Posts

I was talking about the lapband with my sister today when my 8 year old niece asks me "why I didn't just do zumba and eat healthy to lose weight". I am not sure if it was a good idea to share this with a child, my hopes is that her and her brother sees the struggles that I go through with my weight and won't have to deal with this themselves.

The nurse told me during my consultation it isn't a good idea to share with everyone about my upcoming lapband... She says that ppl tend to put lapbanders under a microscope once they know...

Who do you all share with? Have you found alot of ppl that doesn't understand why we have came to this decision is negative and/or non supportive?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone has been very supportibe although there have been several familiy members that have told many people (not out of meanness but because they are proud of my success). I am pretty open with everyone about the band. I think there are so many people out there that mistake us for bypass patients. I have educated a lot of people on the band. I pretty much dismiss any negative comments. We did this for ourselves, our families and our health. It was my decision and I have to live with it. I am proud of my band!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone has been very supportibe although there have been several familiy members that have told many people (not out of meanness but because they are proud of my success). I am pretty open with everyone about the band. I think there are so many people out there that mistake us for bypass patients. I have educated a lot of people on the band. I pretty much dismiss any negative comments. We did this for ourselves, our families and our health. It was my decision and I have to live with it. I am proud of my band!

It seems you are doing an awesome job. Thanks for the reply!!! I have never been more certain about a decision in my life, (other then my marriage). I agree and think ppl do get the 2 confused. I am just going to keep on keeping on and disregard any negative I receive while on this journey. Thanks again for your reply!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wanted to keep my surgery fairly secret.. in case I wasn't successful, but before asking if he could say.. my oh so Dear Husband told everyone at his work. He works at a rumor factory, so there goes any hope of privacy.

Fortunately, I've never had any negative comments to my face. In fact, I usually get compliments and positive remarks. I don't tell every last person I talk to that I had the band, but if I sense that the person is struggling with their weight, I'll share. I'm pretty sure I inspired 2 other people to get banded and another to get a different WLS (Sleeve.. although the person who was sleeved thought I had had RNY).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wanted to keep my surgery fairly secret.. in case I wasn't successful, but before asking if he could say.. my oh so Dear Husband told everyone at his work. He works at a rumor factory, so there goes any hope of privacy.

Fortunately, I've never had any negative comments to my face. In fact, I usually get compliments and positive remarks. I don't tell every last person I talk to that I had the band, but if I sense that the person is struggling with their weight, I'll share. I'm pretty sure I inspired 2 other people to get banded and another to get a different WLS (Sleeve.. although the person who was sleeved thought I had had RNY).

so far I have only told immediate family and a couple friends that I have recently started going to the gym with. My husband is sister is very supportive. The lady I have been exercising with keeps telling me to think hard before I do it because she knows someone that gets sick whenever she eats. I don't think she understands that it's probably a productive burp where she is eating something she shouldn't or is eating too fast.

I try and keep things secret around here too but news travels fast, so I can understand how your news traveled through DH's work.

I just checked out your lapband profile and I am really amazed! I am 355 lbs now and my goal weight is 150. Coming here and seeing ppl like you really inspires me and gives me hope. Thanks for inspiring!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I kept my decision relatively quiet but did tell my immediate family. I did want to explain things to my neice that I did not make this decision easily and that I've had a weight problem my entire life. She has seen both my sister and I yo yo though I have always weight more than my sister. My neice is 14 and she is at a very delicate age when it comes to body image (though she takes after her father's side and is tall and thin).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't tell my mother in advance, but I called her and told her as soon as I got home from the hospital. She's elderly and in poor health and I didn't want her worrying. I also didn't want her at the hospital. Other than that, I told absolutely everyone! I got mixed responses but most were positive. I did have one friend (a twig) who said I shouldn't do it I should just diet and exercise, blah blah blah..... I remember telling her, "Go gain 150 pounds, carry it around for a couple decades and come back and see me. Your opinion might count then!" Of course I said it in the nicest possible way! (LOL) I never really saw any point in trying to keep it a secret. Enough people were going to know that it would have made its around anyway. Besides, if you put everything out there, they won't have any reason to gossip about you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was talking about the lapband with my sister today when my 8 year old niece asks me "why I didn't just do zumba and eat healthy to lose weight". I am not sure if it was a good idea to share this with a child, my hopes is that her and her brother sees the struggles that I go through with my weight and won't have to deal with this themselves.

The nurse told me during my consultation it isn't a good idea to share with everyone about my upcoming lapband... She says that ppl tend to put lapbanders under a microscope once they know...

Who do you all share with? Have you found alot of ppl that doesn't understand why we have came to this decision is negative and/or non supportive?

I did not tell too many people, just a friend who had a gastric sleeve, and a sister-in-law, and my son.

My husband passed away last year and he would not have been supportive. He was of the "just eat less and get more exercise" school, but if I tried not sitting down with him to dinner, or giving him smaller portions to help me eat less, I heard about it and plans like Jenny Craig were out of the question. I would tell only people who would be supportive, or who have a right to know about your surgery. Everyone else can wait. Then, if they say "Why didn't you. . . .? you can ignore them as it is too late.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It seems you are doing an awesome job. Thanks for the reply!!! I have never been more certain about a decision in my life, (other then my marriage). I agree and think ppl do get the 2 confused. I am just going to keep on keeping on and disregard any negative I receive while on this journey. Thanks again for your reply!

I don't and will not listen to negative comments. I feel much better about myself and I think it probably comes across. Those with "negative" comments are mostly people who think the band is bypass. So, I try to educate them. You will be so proud of yourself! It seems you have the right mind-set to have a very successful journey.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would say only tell the people you trust and confide in about everything else until you see how it goes. Later if you are strong enough to handle some ridiculously negative people, go ahead and shout it from the rooftops. But for now, be careful and protect your own feelings first!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had had enough of other people's input when I last lost weight and their sudden silence as it crept back on so I only told the people I wanted to tell, i.e. my husband and our sons, my Mum and one very close friend. They have all respected by request for privacy and supportive of my decision.

Perhaps if I hadn't experienced discrimination due to my obesity I would have been more open to sharing with other people but then again, I didn't shout it to the world when I went on the pill or started taking blood pressure tablets!

Good luck with your surgery and life as a bandster.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×