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Husband hurt my feelings....



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For those who have followed my posts you will know that I was banded in Aug '10 and have lost 50lbs to date!!!

You would figure that is a wonderful thing, until your husband comments:

"are your gaining weight again? you look flabby"

WTH!!!! what a way to really hurt someones feelings! :(

I just hate men sometimes :angry:

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Men are jerks at times! Do this for you, not for him!! He may be jealous...

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i am such a witch with a capital b.. i would have probably said something ugly right back at him.. guys, don't think when they open their mouths.. I really don't understand it.. I haven't really gotten much support from my husband during my journey.. Do what makes you feel happy..

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We think long and hard before we open our mouths. We know that anything we say can get us in trouble, even if we didn't mean anything by it. Is your husband overweight too? If so he doesn't sound too happy about you losing weight.

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The big stinker! Makes you wonder why people say stuff sometimes......

You should just totally forget father's day this weekend (I'm hoping you guys have kids) and then when he asks why you didn't get him a card/gift just say "I was too flabby to go out and get one!"

Hopefully he realizes what he said and give you a genuine apology. Keep your chin up!

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TOTAL agreement with men do not think before they speak.

Tell him your admirer at the "book store" thought you lost weight ! :D HAHA

Sometimes a little reminder of what they have is all they need to realize how stupid the things they say are! SMILE!:rolleyes:

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The big stinker! Makes you wonder why people say stuff sometimes......

You should just totally forget father's day this weekend (I'm hoping you guys have kids) and then when he asks why you didn't get him a card/gift just say "I was too flabby to go out and get one!"

Hopefully he realizes what he said and give you a genuine apology. Keep your chin up!

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Shelley's post just made me laugh so loud!! Lol

I agree with Allie, by saying someone else noticed will really ruffle his feathers! My husband HATES when I say someone compliments me, he's always like "No one should be looking at my chocolate drop!!" lol...men! #RollsEyes

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That was a crappy thing for him to say, but as I always say "men are VARMINTS'. lol! Sorry, all you great guys out there. lol!

Just keep doing what you are doing. I have not had Lap Band, yet, but plan to in a few months if all goes well. HOWEVER, I have dealt with those kind of comments from my dad over the years. I lose weight all the time, just to gain most of it back so he feels he has to comment on it. It's very frustrating because unless someone has been in our shoes to know what it's like, they Just DO NOT know. I always feel like this is a type of addiction just like an alcoholic in an ABC store. That's the only way I can describe it best. That's why I don't do well at buffets, no matter how good my intentions are. Something in my brain just goes haywire with all of that good food around.

Many blessings to you as you continue your journey. Don't allow his comment to bring you down.

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I'm not going to generalize men, since I know a lot of men who think about what they say, my partner included; but I am sorry to hear that he said this to you. My guess is he feels insecure about his own weight or appearence, and is jealous of your weightloss.

Don't let it get to you unless he does it on a regular basis. Just try to look at the accomplishments that you have made. I think you're doing awesome, 50 pounds! You ROCK!

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Well that was a crappy thing to say...they really don't think sometimes..my husband has done the same thing! Just keep looking towards the future and how great you will feel!

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Aww, I'm so sorry he said that to you. That's so hurtful. ((hugs))

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My husband said to me one time "Geez, your really getting fat!" He said it 2 weeks after I had given birth to our daughter. Let me rephrase that....my EX husband said it!! Men can be such asses!!

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Gag! I am so sorry your husband said that to you! Men...what can ya do...

Just a few days ago, after losing 30+ lbs, I was able to fit into a summer dress that I had

previously bought two years ago. I was getting ready to go to my brother's graduation and my husband

takes one look at me and goes, "UGH! Don't wear that to a graduation! All the high school boys are

going to look at you. Can't you just put something more casual on...like old jeans and a t-shirt?"

I gave him the evil eye. I think now that I am losing weight, he's insecure that I might get big headed and

not want him anymore. It's cute in a way, but more so frustrating.

Keep your head up girl!

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Ugh- men can be so dumb! Just tell him that after your done losing and you get your TT you won't have any flab

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We think long and hard before we open our mouths. We know that anything we say can get us in trouble, even if we didn't mean anything by it. Is your husband overweight too? If so he doesn't sound too happy about you losing weight.

As a matter a fact he is overweight I think he is just jealous.....He has been banned from my room and bed LOL

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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