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Creepy Coworker



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So I'm definitely enjoying the comments from people about how good I look, don't get me wrong.

BUT.

I have worked at my current place of employment for 5 years. For 5 years, a male coworker (significantly older than me, and married) hasn't really interacted with me much at all. We don't work in the same building and usually we only run into one another about once a month for meetings.

So a couple of weeks ago, he sees me and starts gushing about my weight loss and actually asked me HOW MUCH in lbs I had lost. I decided I was proud of it, and told him.

The next week, he asked me what I was doing on Friday night. Luckily I had plans, because I have no idea what was going to come out of his mouth. Probably an invitation for socialization with his wife/department, but still-- I've worked with him for 5 years and he's NEVER been interested in my weekend plans before.

Then I see him when I'm walking between buildings today and he stops and comes up, and whispers in my ear "hi skinny!" while I'm talking to someone else.

I realize that this is most likely his way of being complimentary. But I have to admit, it's starting to creep me out.

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hmmmm .... I say just look at it in the best light for now .... may just be a harmless compliment. I hope so :)

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ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! Creep-O-la!!!

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I know creepy, I am having a similar issue. yuck!

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So I'm definitely enjoying the comments from people about how good I look, don't get me wrong.

BUT.

I have worked at my current place of employment for 5 years. For 5 years, a male coworker (significantly older than me, and married) hasn't really interacted with me much at all. We don't work in the same building and usually we only run into one another about once a month for meetings.

So a couple of weeks ago, he sees me and starts gushing about my weight loss and actually asked me HOW MUCH in lbs I had lost. I decided I was proud of it, and told him.

The next week, he asked me what I was doing on Friday night. Luckily I had plans, because I have no idea what was going to come out of his mouth. Probably an invitation for socialization with his wife/department, but still-- I've worked with him for 5 years and he's NEVER been interested in my weekend plans before.

Then I see him when I'm walking between buildings today and he stops and comes up, and whispers in my ear "hi skinny!" while I'm talking to someone else.

I realize that this is most likely his way of being complimentary. But I have to admit, it's starting to creep me out.

Creepzilla!! :yikes: If he says something to you again, I would suggest saying something. Don't let this dude think it's ok because it might go to another level.

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I honestly don't see anything in the original post he said that was so wrong. It's not like he asked if she wanted to have sex. ...... compliments on weightloss is all it sounds like.

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Sounds like harmless flirting. ???

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Nope... sticking with my original thoughts, Creep - o - la!

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Definitely creepy. If it was in doubt before (but really, how much doubt was there... no interest in you heavy and now asking you out, with no other changes or mention of his wife being along), it crossed over to for-sure creepy when he leaned in and said something in your ear. Personal space violation and definitely more than playful flirting.

Personally, I like fun flirting. It's harmless and makes for some smiles here and there! But this doesn't sound like light co-worker joke-flirting, it sounds like "hey-my-wife-won't-know-how-about-it?" flirting.

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I'm sure it's harmless, actually, but that doesn't mean I don't think it's creepy that someone who didn't have the time of day for me when I was fat is suddenly falling all over himself to compliment my appearance every single time I see him.

Once was really nice. But seriously, it's just weird now!

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Definitely creepy. If it was in doubt before (but really, how much doubt was there... no interest in you heavy and now asking you out, with no other changes or mention of his wife being along), it crossed over to for-sure creepy when he leaned in and said something in your ear. Personal space violation and definitely more than playful flirting.

Personally, I like fun flirting. It's harmless and makes for some smiles here and there! But this doesn't sound like light co-worker joke-flirting, it sounds like "hey-my-wife-won't-know-how-about-it?" flirting.

I didn't see where she said he asked her out. (because that's not what I got from it)

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Regardless if it was harmless complimenting or not, if it makes you uncomfortable you might want to consider dumping your drink over his head. Some guys are just pigs. Your story has a real "creepy" familiarity to it and it's going to bug me trying to recall who the past creep in my life was!!! Thank God he's married so it will probably never go further than stupid compliments. He'll probably say like the same thing day after day now. See, I'm developing an image in my mind. I've got him pegged now: cordurouy jacket, plaid pants, stupid fake smile carrying his coffee and stopping in your cube to say "Well hello there skinny" LMBO

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The fact that he didn't notice you when you were fat, but is gawking over you now, even though he's married, says volumes about his character. I'd have to just tell him straight out: "You didn't give me the time of day when I was fat, so I'm not giving you the time of day because I'm skinny and you're married".

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It's probably harmless but if it happens again I would tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If he keeps it up after that mention it to your HR department.

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    • Alisa_S

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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