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How did you handle getting to eat your favorite meal?



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I was soooooo tempted!! I picked up a piece and threw it down and walked out of the kitchen......lol :lol:

Funny you mention fajitas! We cooked out the other day and I had a piece that I chewed all the flavor out of and then fed it to the dogs!!!! I know I'm not supposed to do that, but believe me, it was so delicious!!!! And I didn't feel so bad since I didn't swallow it! :)

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This surgery is just a small part in the process. The majority of this is mental. You said you felt like a whale (don't worry everyone has felt that way) so use that to your advantage. When you feel like you want to over indulge remember that feeling of inadequacy and tell yourself you NEVER want to go back to that. The band is a tool but your mind is part of the solution. Find yourself a "buddy" wether it be on here or a family member or friend you feel comfortable talking to and when you are having a "moment of weakness" talk to them. It may help. Good luck to you :)

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There are ways to have your favorite foods, just not all the time, and not a lot of it. Like if you want pizza have ONE slice, or have a Lean Cuisine pizza (I really like those actually). You do have to remember, if you don't stay within your 1200 calorie diet restrictions. You WILL NOT lose weight. It's still a diet. Ultimately, with the band you have to switch your thoughts.. it shouldn't be about getting pleasure from food. When you have a fill your hunger ceases, which makes that easier.

Guys, give her a little break, she' s on liquids obviously you fantasize about food. I think I dreamt about it haha.

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.I'm realizing I truly LIVED TO EAT and now I'm afraid some of my joy of life will be lost.

Thanks for listening.

Let's face it...the primary 'relationship' in our life was to food and all other relationships revolved around it. Some people grieve over the loss of that relationship but I don't see it as a 'loss'. I see it as a relationship that had to change. I still love food and that's never going to change. What has changed is that it is no longer my primary relationship. I can get together with friends and family now and I don't need to have a plate in front of me to enjoy their company. I can go to the movies without getting a big bucket of popcorn. I don't need to buy the munchies for long car trips. None of that happened overnight and sometimes it still rears its ugly little head but I'm getting better at squashing it down.

So don't grieve the loss...just change the relationship. :)

.

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You'll realize after you're banded that your relationship with food is going to change. I did the psych consult and went to support meetings before being banded, but never understood it all until the band was in.

I was terribly depressed about food for a long time when I was first banded. Little things... I can't tolerate my dad's banana bread that he makes only at Christmas. I had 2 bites and got stuck and it ruined the whole morning. I cried and cried. How can I live the rest of my life and never enjoy things that have become landmarks in my life? Dad's Christmas banana bread... grandma's brown sugar birthday cakes... my FIL's beef wellington... I resented the band for months. Nobody explained that I would mourn these losses.

Before I got "restriction" I could eat 2-3 pieces of pizza... which was less than before, but way way more than I know I should. But I told myself that because I could eat it it was ok. It wasn't. I didn't lose or gain for months. Now I wouldn't dare try even half a piece of pizza... and it's finally ok, but it's taken me months post op to get to where I'm not upset about not being able to eat and ENJOY eating.

Being stuck hurts. Being too full hurts. Sometimes you don't feel it until it's too late and then it hurts for up to an hour. Throwing up because you've stuffed your face and angered your band sucks.

My big suggestion to you is that you go to a support group meeting and talk to a therapist about your emotional feelings toward food and how you're going to handle not being able to chow down... how you can deal with saying "see you later" to your favorite meals. It's not that you can't ever eat them again (there are some things your band may never tolerate again but it's different for everyone and you'll surely figure it out... I can't handle doughey foods or eggs of any kind), but you won't and shouldn't finish everything on your plate because it tastes too good to stop eating... you will really hurt yourself that way. You've got to change that focus of your meal... and really understand it's about nourishing your body BEFORE pleasure. It's great if you can enjoy food, but it's not going to be the center of attention that it is now. It's a big change, and one I didn't anticipate making me feel so angry and upset.

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I used to dream throughout the night that I was eating during the first 3 weeks after being banded. I woke up expecting to be full. I would be so dissapointed...I remember checking the pillow to see if it was wet and chewed on because the dream was so real.

I had many of the same thoughts, ideas, fears and reservations. I remember thinking about how wonderful it feels to be full of a great meal like THanksgiving and how I hated giving up pigging out on my favorite foods. I was going to miss that feeling of comfort, well-being and love. Then i realized that I equated being full to being well taken care of - and from there to love. Pretty messed up -- but to be as overweight as i am - I do have some food wires crossed. BUT, i take my thoughts seriously and work through them, Like the example above, I equated being full to being loved. So, hopefully, now I can overcome the temptation to go wild on Holidays etc.

Dont think that thoughts related to the "old days of pigging out" are not normal == > AND Don't let anyone tell you that such thoughts and ideas are not normal in a period of EXTREME change such as the banding experience, Just acknowledge that change is very scary and we hang on to what we know even though it may not be best for us.

BTW-- If I knew a good councilor, I would probably see that person monthly. I make do with my nutritionist but if I make goal and lose 145 lbs I KNOW that I will do better if I have some help adjusting.

I got fat when I was 28 and I remember the trauma of the shallow friends who dropped me, and the negative reactions from strangers that I had never gotten before. It was hard on the way up, it will be hard on the way down.

Now, i kinda hide behind my fat, and use it as cammo. I think I will have to learn to deal with people in a different way once I am considered "attractive" again.

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Thank you all! I really love yalls thoughts and honesty! I think I will see what the dr suggests tomorrow re a therapist. I know there is something to my eating habits. I think about food and the idea of a huge plate that is all for me to eat until I'm stuffed is pure joy! (and now shame) I don't know what happened to make me this way but I really am happy and committed to getting over this and getting skinny! Best of luck to all of y'all! :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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