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Are you worried about how spouse (or SO), is going to deal?


justplaintired
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I know this is going to be such a huge change for me. While my dh is supportive of the surgery, I sincerely wonder how he is going to be when I cannot eat like a normal person for quite awhile. REPHRASE: I won't be able to eat like he does.

My husband is athletic, in shape, physically fit, etc. He is very good about keeping his weight under control. He likes to eat but he doesn't have the addictive tendency that I have with food. He stays active and I'm sure that is why he is not overweight because he does like good food and has a good appetite.

I worry that he will try to tell me how to eat or what to eat. I know that it is going to seem very strange (and unhealthy) to him in the beginning stages. I also wonder what it is going to be like when we socialize. I will not be able to indulge like I'm known to. Will socializing still be fun for me? Do I know how to have found without food/drink?

I am strongly considering going to therapy post op to deal with all of these things. Is anyone else going? Does anyone else have these concerns or worries?

Thx.

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Do you mean the time right after surgery? That is a time for healing after surgery, and hopefully your husband can understand that that a progression from liquids to soft foods to solids is necessary for your safety, to prevent post surgical complications (plus it's not really a time for focus on weight loss or judgments :) ). Additionally, you'll probably be learning about your band and your body, what works and what doesn't for weight loss, digestion, and your increasing restriction from fills, so hopefully he can be supportive of your learning process!

As far as socializing or going out to eat, I really like eating less for this! Instead of focusing on shoveling my food in :rolleyes: , I find myself much more engaged in conversation and the people around me, and have more fun. For me it has also become very satisfying to be full with food still left on the plate at a restaurant (though I often take home the leftovers). I know distractions during a meal don't work so well for some people who NEED to focus on "mindful eating," but since being banded my portion sizes are very in control, and I'm finding more fun in things other than food!

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i don't have a husband or significant other but i do have a meddling mother... which is worse i think lol

before i started this journey i told everyone that this was for ME. i didn't expect their eating habits to change because mine were going to. so at birthday parties they still order pizza even though i can't eat it. i either eat before i go or bring my own food. it took awhile before my family saw i wasn't going to combust just because my eating habits are a little strange now.

just last night my family went out to eat for my brothers birthday. i had my mom telling me "eat slow" "take smaller bites" "should you be eating a baked potato?" ugh!!! it drives me nuts lol

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Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl! I feel for you.. my mother DRIVES ME NUTS!!! lol That's why I'm not telling her a damn thing! :lol:

We can't eat pizza?? Not even like a small piece? or we can't/shouldn't because of the crust?

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My mom will drive me nuts too.... I guess I would feel bad if I didn't tell her though... On the other hand, I am 42 and am a big girl now...

As far as the concerns of "socializing"..... I know I will have issues... We like to have a few "social" drinks on the weekends.... I know a lot of questions will be asked why I'm not drinking a beer...!

My surg. date is 2-9..... So just a day b4 u guys.... I say bring it!!! Little worried about super bowl Sunday though.... I will be on my liquid diet and my Packers r playing!!! Guess I will have to save my calories for some of my "favorite" liquids!!

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some people can eat bread (or pizza) just fine... i'm just not one of them. i can eat the crust if its crunchy and i can eat the cheese and toppings. people just look at me funny when i take 2 pieces of pizza, eat the crust of one piece and the cheese off both of them and throw the rest away... so its just easier to just skip it.

i've been open and honest with everyone... friends and family... everyone has been supportive to my face but i don't know what they say when i'm not around. they know i can't eat a lot so they let me graze off their plate during happy hours and such. i'm almost 3 years post-op so i can drink a cocktail or 2 if i want but i have to decide whether i want to eat OR drink because with the band its too hard to do both!

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I am so with you guys...my husband is a total pain in the ass. :rolleyes: I don't think he fully gets it. I am on day 3 of my pre-op diet and last night he brought me a cupcake to cellebrate my promotion at work. I know its not that big of a deal but come on...tonight he wants to take me out to dinner for my last supper...naturally I'm going...wrong I know but what the heck.

He doesn't know how to be supportive in a gentle way which is how I need it. he says if he has to praise then he can criticize. OY! He is a tough one.

I'm going to try and not let him bother me but we'll see how that goes. I am also considering a therapist...someone who is knowlegeable of addictions. I am 16mo clean from perscription meds but I have easily increased my eating and shopping. It's my crutch and makes me feel better...maybe I should try using the gym as a way to sooth my soul...what a healthy concept.:blink:

We need to help support each other...I'm here for you guys.

Good luck to all. We can do this one day at a time!!!

Peace~

Ally

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some people can eat bread (or pizza) just fine... i'm just not one of them. i can eat the crust if its crunchy and i can eat the cheese and toppings. people just look at me funny when i take 2 pieces of pizza, eat the crust of one piece and the cheese off both of them and throw the rest away... so its just easier to just skip it.

i've been open and honest with everyone... friends and family... everyone has been supportive to my face but i don't know what they say when i'm not around. they know i can't eat a lot so they let me graze off their plate during happy hours and such. i'm almost 3 years post-op so i can drink a cocktail or 2 if i want but i have to decide whether i want to eat OR drink because with the band its too hard to do both!

You are so funny! WOW you are 3 years out! Good for you girl! You've done awesome! Is there anything about the band now that you don't like?

Right now I'm just dying for a sip of water!... or a margarita :lol:

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I am so with you guys...my husband is a total pain in the ass. :rolleyes: I don't think he fully gets it. I am on day 3 of my pre-op diet and last night he brought me a cupcake to cellebrate my promotion at work. I know its not that big of a deal but come on...tonight he wants to take me out to dinner for my last supper...naturally I'm going...wrong I know but what the heck.

He doesn't know how to be supportive in a gentle way which is how I need it. he says if he has to praise then he can criticize. OY! He is a tough one.

I'm going to try and not let him bother me but we'll see how that goes. I am also considering a therapist...someone who is knowlegeable of addictions. I am 16mo clean from perscription meds but I have easily increased my eating and shopping. It's my crutch and makes me feel better...maybe I should try using the gym as a way to sooth my soul...what a healthy concept.:blink:

We need to help support each other...I'm here for you guys.

Good luck to all. We can do this one day at a time!!!

Peace~

Ally

Good for you on your 16 months! You should be really proud of yourself! I remember when I used to buy scrapbook supplies ALL THE TIME to soothe being in an psychologically abusive relationship..I was a QVC whore! LOL

So where did you guys go to dinner? What did you have? Can you describe it for me?:lol:

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Good for you on your 16 months! You should be really proud of yourself! I remember when I used to buy scrapbook supplies ALL THE TIME to soothe being in an psychologically abusive relationship..I was a QVC whore! LOL

So where did you guys go to dinner? What did you have? Can you describe it for me?:lol:

Hi Smokey-Glad see you posting today. Hopefully that means you are feeling ok. We went to Volare on Grand/St Clair and had a great italian meal...I won't get into the deets.:unsure: Today I am back on track...starving right now but getting by.

Take care of yourself and keep posting so we know how you are doing.

Peace~

Ally

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Hi Smokey-Glad see you posting today. Hopefully that means you are feeling ok. We went to Volare on Grand/St Clair and had a great italian meal...I won't get into the deets.:unsure: Today I am back on track...starving right now but getting by.

Take care of yourself and keep posting so we know how you are doing.

Peace~

Ally

Yep..I've heard of Volare.. good stuff menard! That sounds soooo good. I'm not hungry really.. I'm "head" hungry...prolly because I can't eat...I want everything I can't have...:lol:

I'm doing pretty good.. it's good to be home in my own bed..finally getting some sleep... my lungs still hurt.. but really the rest is A-OK! and this grape flavored children's tylenol is really tasty..:lol:

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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